


You had me at Cupcake

by snipeskat17



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Adorable, Alternate Universe, Carm and Laura meet as kids, Cute, F/F, Fluff, My First Fanfic, Some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2018-10-16 00:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 54,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10560410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snipeskat17/pseuds/snipeskat17
Summary: Laura is startled as she is yanked into a janitor's closet by Carmilla on her second day of kindergarten. They develop a lovely friendship after that. In between Carmilla's abusive mother, Laura's paranoid dad, and their dorky adventures; can Laura and Carm manage to navigate their growing feelings for one another?





	1. Mops and Cookies

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fanfic, so go easy on me. Any mistakes are my own. Most of my characters are thanks to the Carmilla web series, and are not owned by me. I hope you enjoy, and would love to hear your feedback :)

It all started the second day of kindergarten. I was skipping to school, my (amazing) _Doctor Who_ backpack bouncing happily between my shoulders. I was convinced that my second day of school would be better than my first, or at least I was hoping it would be. I frowned slightly at the memory of yesterday when this mean boy, Will, stole my cookies. I will NOT suffer through the agony of losing my beloved sugary treats again, today I have a plan if worse comes to worse: shin kicking.

            I finally reached my school; Silas Elementary. I turned around and waved at my dad across the street (we live very close to my school). Yesterday, I asked my dad why we had to live so close and he started going on about how if something happened at school, he would be able to protect me. I asked what could possibly happen and he started ranting about the dangers of bears(?), angry mobs, and boys with motorcycles (where is he getting this stuff?). Talking about all those things got daddy so worked up that he also enrolled me in krav maga classes, whatever the heck those are. Shaking my head at my ever-rambling thoughts, I turn back to my school and begin walking towards my classroom.

            I manage to make it halfway to my class before a pair of small hands popped out from an unmarked door and pulled me through it. The door closed behind me, and I wait for my eyes to adjust. Eventually my eyes manage to discern beautiful chocolate colored eyes, framed by an ivory face and curly ebony hair. The mystery girl put one finger to her lips, signaling I needed to be silent. I quietly looked around and saw: a mop, a broom, a big yellow bucket on wheels, and a copious amount of cleaning supplies. Apparently my strange new acquaintance managed to find the janitor’s closet. I was about to tell this girl why it was dangerous for a janitor to leave a closet filled with, essentially, poison, when I heard voices outside. “Where is that little twerp?” said boy number one.

            “I don’t know Will,” the girl and I both bristle at boy number one’s name, “I swear I saw her. Maybe we should just forget about your annoying sister and go after that girl with the cookies, those were great.” Said boy number two. I was seriously considering kicking that cookie thief in the shins if he kept talking.

The girl across from me frowned when she saw the look in my face. “You are cookie girl?” she mouthed silently at me. I nodded my confirmation and then we continued listening to the other side of the door.

“Ah, whatever. We’ll find them during recess.” Muttered Will. A few seconds later the only thing we could hear on the other side of the door was the sound of retreating footsteps.

The girl across from me sighed deeply in relief and held out her hand, “Carmilla Karnstein, nice to make your acquaintance.”

I stare at her a second before grasping her hand with my own and shaking it, “Laura Hollis. Pleased to meet you. How long have you been in this janitor’s closet? Also how did you get in? Because if it was just left unlocked, then the janitor should get in trouble for being negligent; a lot of things in here are poisonous. Also, was that guy your brother? If so, I’m sorry. You must never get any cookies because he steals them all. I have some here.” I reached into my backpack and pulled out my Tardis lunchbox, opened it, and retrieved a small bag of cookies. I divided them evenly, and then gave Carmilla half.

She stared at me with her mouth slightly open, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, “Well cupcake, that was the longest and most adorable rant I have ever seen. To answer your questions: I stole the janitor’s keys, I have been in here since I got to school this morning, and yes that weasel is my brother. I saw William take your cookies yesterday and didn’t want a repeat of that, so I grabbed you when you were walking by and hid you in here with me.” She smiled triumphantly after answering my questions successfully, “Oh, and thanks for the cookie.” she said while nibbling on the edge of it.

I shyly smile back at her and begin to eat my own cookie. The bell rings off in the distance and I jump up and start shoving things into my bag, “Ohmygosh Carm we’re going to be late for class! Shoot, did I have Miss Turner, or Miss Annette? This is a disaster!” I turned to face the startled brunette, “It was great to meet you, I’ll find you at recess and we can continue our conversation.” I grabbed her into a quick hug and then jerked the door open and bolted outside, calling behind me; “See ya later Carm!”

“Later creampuff!” could be heard faintly from the janitor's closet. I smiled at the thought of my new friend; she was pretty cool, even if she did like calling me the names of sugary awesomeness.


	2. Shin-Kicking Ninja

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of insight on Carmilla's life, and some development of her and Laura's friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I was so excited that people were already reading and commenting on my first chapter, that I thought I'd whip up another one. I hope you enjoy. All mistakes are my own. Feel free to send some comments my way :)

“Carmilla! Get down here this instant, or you will have hell to pay!”

“Yes mother.” I said as I raced down the stairs.

“What on Earth are you wearing Carmilla?” snarled my mother as I came into view. I look down at my black converse, blood red t-shirt, black ripped jeans, and black leather jacket; and shrugged. I liked it, I thought I was pretty good at matching for a six year old. Mother, however, was not impressed with my attempt to dress myself, “Go change this instant.”

I pouted, “But mother I like-“ my protest was cut off by the sharp sound of my Mother’s hand colliding with my face. I started to squeak in pain, but quickly cut it off; that just makes her anger worse. I wordlessly trudged up the stairs to change, my cheek stinging the whole way up.

That is how I ended up here; walking to school, William (unfortunately) by my side. I was miserable, not only was I wearing a hideous shirt the color of sticky cotton candy, I was also enduring my brother’s never-ending taunts and teases. I tuned him out after he started calling me a “snot nosed midget”, if he actually had some wit, he might be able to come up with insults that border on clever, instead of the sub-par garbage that my ear were currently being barraged with. I sighed and blew my bangs out of my face as I let my thoughts wonder. The first day of kindergarten was, surprisingly, not as bad as I thought it would be. Though, mother already began our education at a very young age, so I already knew how to read and do basic math. The other students seemed to be very far behind in their education, some of them could barely say the alphabet. The fact that I was so far ahead of the other kids made it difficult for me to acquire any new friends, so I was marching onto the school grounds without a single ally by my side.

William tore through my train of thought when he started talking about taking some girl’s cookies. Yesterday, I had witnessed my older brother (by one year, mind you) take the most adorkable little girl’s cookies from her blue lunchbox which was in the shape of a phone booth. I was so disgusted that he wanted to risk traumatizing this girl further by stealing from her again that (against my better judgment) I turned to him and called him a lout (don’t ask me what that is, it just sounded good at the time), and then proceeded to run away.

My brother stood there for a couple seconds, his brown eyes slitted as he tried to determine if what I called him was an insult or not. By the time he finally decided I was slighting him, I had already ran through the gates leading to the schoolyard and stolen the janitor’s keys. I sprinted to the janitor’s closet, by this time I was far out of Will’s sight, and locked myself inside. I managed to peak out a crack I made in the door and spotted that cookie girl from yesterday. Before I even thought about what I was doing, I opened the door wider and grabbed the girl, yanking her inside the closet with me.

(000)

“Later creampuff!” I called after Laura as she frantically ran in the wrong direction (the kindergarten classrooms were the other way). I smile at the dorky girl’s antics as I begin walking to my class, and think to myself; Perhaps, I do have an ally at this godforsaken school after all.

Class was ridiculously (almost painfully) boring. I was ecstatic when it was finally time for recess. I wondered around the playground aimlessly until I caught a flash of dirty blonde hair whip past me, followed by the ebony hair that mirrored my own. “Jessie get her!” William screamed at his friend as he chased Laura. Jessie was jumping up and down on one foot while clutching the other, “I can’t, that midget nailed me in the shin!” Well now I know where my brother got his oh so expansive vocabulary, and creative insults, I thought to myself. Some people don’t read as much as I do, this is evident when observing someone’s vocabulary; William and his friend Jessie are proof of that. I rolled my eyes at my brother’s idiocy and started chasing after Laura.

“Hiya Carm,” Laura panted as I caught up to her. I looked back and saw my brother and his idiot friend had already picked a different target to shamelessly harass.

“Hey creampuff. I see you had an eventful recess so far.” I said with a lazy smile.

Laura beamed at me before her face morphed into a worried frown, “I just realized I kicked your brother’s friend in the shins! I told myself this morning, before I met you of course, that I would resort to shin kicking today if those mean boys picked on me again, and then I met you, I didn’t think about how you would feel if I hurt your brother and his friends. Carmilla I am so sorr-”

I cut off Laura’s (extreme run-on) sentence; “It’s fine cupcake. Really, in fact I think you should kick them in the shins whenever you have the need.” Warm brown eyes scanned my face for any signs of insincerity, she didn’t seem to find any hint of it because she nodded once and then grabbed my hand. I started at the sudden contact; I’m not used to anyone touching me for any reason outside of hitting me. She studied my face for a couple of seconds before she began pulling me towards the swing set, the whole time babbling about bear spray and krav maga (I think?). I couldn’t help but smile at this sweet, yet feisty, girl. And, just like that, I had made a new friend; the kind that lasts a lifetime.


	3. Cookie Corpses and Spaghetti Smoothies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm and Laura are ten. Carmilla is trying to teach Laura to cook. Cute moments, Carm needs to tell Laura something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I want to thank you all for reading this, and sticking with me (this far). I hope you like this. Feel free to send me any thought, comments, or questions. All mistakes are mine. I don't own any of these characters. Enjoy!

“Carmmmm,” I whined at my best friend, “I don’t understand any of this!” I flipped through my book, frustration written all over my face.

“What’s not to understand creampuff?” Carmilla questioned while peeking over my shoulder. “Add butter mixture to dry ingredients, mix thoroughly until smooth-”

“I can read it Carm, that’s not the problem,” I turned to face her, “I think we should give up on our quest to make me cook.” Carmilla looked like she was going to protest so I talked faster to prevent her response; “We have burnt six batches of cookies,” I glare pointedly at the evidence (still smoking) on the countertop, “and I even managed to set fire to the pudding we attempted to make.” I gestured animatedly at the pot soaking in soapy water as an attempt to get the charcoaled pudding off of it.

Carmilla cracked a small smile before lightly gripping my arms and turning me back towards our latest attempt at cookie dough. “You got this Laura.”

I sighed and then started adding the ingredients listed on the recipe to the bowl. The whole time Carmilla is talking me through the steps of cookie dough making. It’s the random moment like these; the one that are so simple, comfortable, yet still amazing; that I love to share with Carm. These are the times that I am so grateful for my sarcastic, dorky, bookworm.

“You alright there cupcake?” Carmilla said, staring at me expectantly.

I realized I had stopped making cookie dough and was just staring at my best friend with a goody smile on my face. Before I thought about it, I blurted; “I’m so glad you pulled me into that janitor’s closet on the second day of kindergarten.”

She quirked an inquisitive eyebrow at me, her chocolate eyes searching my own, before she whispered; “What do you mean creampuff?”

I turned to face her and grabbed her hands; “I mean that you are the best person I know. That I love everything about you, from your wicked sarcasm to your smile. I mean,” I looked directly into her eyes, “that I am so glad we became friends, because I don’t know how I could have gotten even this far in life without you.”

Her lips parted in a silent gasp at my words, while tears started to form in her eyes; “I- I don’t know how to say how much that means to me, how much you mean to me.” She pauses, then abruptly said; “Laura, there’s something I need to tell you, it’s about my mother-”

“Wow! What the heck happened in here? And why does it smell distinctly like you burnt down half the kitchen?” papa Hollis questioned as he strode into the kitchen. When he noticed all the burnt cookie corpses his eyes widened marginally and then he started to laugh. Carm and I shared a confused look as we listened to my dad cackle hysterically.

Carmilla stood up a little straighter and adjusted her leather jacket before speaking; “Mr. Hollis, I was just trying to teach Laura to cook. We’re sorry about the mess, I promise we will clean it up before I leave.”

“It’s fine Carmilla, I actually admire you for attempting such a huge feat with my daughter. I don’t know how, but when I tried to teach that girl to cook pasta, she managed to set the boiling water on fire.” Dad let out a hardy laugh before dismissing himself and heading to his room to change into more comfortable clothes.

I stared at the floor, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment from my father’s words, “I don’t get what I do wrong.” I murmur quietly.

Carmilla’s light chuckles died down when she saw my reaction; “Laura, it’s really not a big deal; that’s how people learn. You know, one time, I made spaghetti, and I wanted to be able to eat it on the go. So, me being my brilliant self, I decided it would be a great idea to blend my pasta.”

I laugh, “No way?! You made a spaghetti smoothie! I made a green bean smoothie one time.” Carm gave me an incredulous look, while I shrugged slightly embarrassed, “I thought it might go down easier,” I have not grown out of my hatred for vegetables, and am always trying to find ways to make them palatable. “it didn’t.” My face scrunched up at the thought of that disgusting goop.

She laughs, then looks at me sheepishly, “We all do things wrong at some point, you just happen to burn things, and someday you won’t; and that’s all I want to help you achieve.”

I scooped her up in a big hug, buried my head in her shoulder, and we just stood there; holding each other. “I love you.” I whispered to her. She tensed slightly before she pulled me even tighter, “I love you too cupcake.” We pulled apart and just smiled at each other.

“What are you two smiling about?” papa Hollis said as he came into the kitchen, now dressed in a pair of sweats and an Old Navy t-shirt.

“Umm we were thinking of asking you if Carm could stay the night.” I said.

“Ohhh, is that so?”

“If that is alright with you sir.” Replied Carmilla (ever-polite to my father).

“I’ve told you, please, call me papa Hollis. And, of course you can stay the night.” I cheer and do a victory dance around the kitchen. I stop when I notice everyone else is staring at me like I’m a lunatic and smile sheepishly. “I’ll order some pizza for dinner,” I opened my mouth to speak, but dad kept talking; “yes, Laura, I will get the cookie pizza.”

Carmilla laughed at that. Personally, I don’t see what is so funny, my love of cookies is very serious business, but I can’t help but smile at her. After dad left I remembered Carm wanted to tell me something before dad interrupted (the first time). “Hey, maybe after we clean all of this up, and eat dinner, you could finish telling me what you wanted to tell me earlier.”

The brunette looked surprised that I remembered, but responded with a; “Sure, that sounds good cupcake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla finally tells Laura about her treatment at home. WARNING: there is talk about Carmilla and William being both physically and verbally abused, if this is a trigger for you, message me and I will message you a summary of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya guys! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, I really appreciate it. This chapter is a bit more sad than the other ones, but I think it helps to further solidify Laura and Carmilla's bond and have decided to include it. All mistakes are my own. I don't own the characters. I hope you enjoy. Feel free to voice any comments, concerns, questions.

I loved staying at Laura’s house. Not only because it was a way for me to escape the torment at home, but also because of Mr. Hollis’ rants about bears and safety, and of course I love spending time with Laura. Even after four years, I still feel like I can never get enough of that girl. We don’t even need to do things together, we’re just content to be near each other. I can’t tell you how many days were spent with me either reading or drawing, while Laura watched _Doctor Who_ or wrote random stories. I loved every second of it. It’s like Laura lights up my life. No, not lights up; more like she brings out the light in me. The light that is usually buried deep within me for the sake of my sanity. It’s almost like she can just smile at me and I glow; I find my passion, my sincerity, my vulnerability. It’s because of all the feelings she inspired in me that led me to tell Laura about my mother.

            I know if I were to say anything to anybody, mother would make my life ten times worse; she would make death seem like a kind friend compared to what she would do to me. I know all of this, and yet, I don’t think I can keep this from Laura anymore. That’s how I ended up sitting on her Tardis-covered bedsheets trying to work up the courage to tell Laura about the secret I have been keeping from her for four years.

            “Carm, if you’re not ready to talk about it, you don’t have to.” She said lowly to me.

            I shake my head, grasping for the right words; “No, I want to, I’m ready. I just don’t know where to start.”

            Laura nodded her head solemnly, “Start with what you want to say the most.”

            That actually kind of made sense. Taking a deep breath, I began; “I hate going home.” I looked away from Laura’s concerned eyes; I couldn’t look at her right then, not when I was that weak. “Mother is cruel.” I shifted uncomfortably then continued; “It started with her demeaning William and me. Harsh words that would send you spiraling into the darkest depths of your mind. It didn’t stop there though. From there, she began to hit; with her fists, with her feet, with that vase, anything she could get her hands on, though she was careful about where she hit. She would make sure not to leave marks where anybody could see.” My voice broke as I tried to continue, “She put bruises it where nobody would notice. She told us that even if people knew, they wouldn’t care. She broke us over and over again. She twisted William into the monster he is now, but I won’t, I can’t let her do the same to me.” A hand slid across the bed and attached itself to my own. I finally looked up, into Laura’s eyes. I was both shocked and relieved to see there was not a trace of pity. “What are you thinking?” I whispered.

            She whispered back, “I noticed Carm.” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “I see how you flinch away from anyone’s touch when you aren’t paying attention. I see the bruises when you stretch and your shirt rides up. I see how you won’t let anybody through the impenetrable walls you built to protect yourself. I see how you visibly shrink around your mother. I see the sorrow and rage in your eyes when Will is cruel to others. I see it, and I can tell you one thing,” she looked deeply into my eyes and I shrunk back slightly at her gaze, “that you mother is wrong, there are people who care, I care. And I think that when she breaks you down, you come back stronger than before, because that is who you are.”

            Tears gathered in my eyes as I heard what she said to me. I had been holding this in so long, carrying this burden alone, convinced that there was nothing I could do to make the pain go away. But here Laura was, brown eyes fixed on my own, her dirty blonde hair faintly reflecting the lamp-light, telling me I wasn’t weak, that I mattered. The walls keeping me safe crumbled as I regarded the girl before me, and suddenly I was sobbing. Strong arms wrapped themselves around me and held me close. We sat there for hours, Laura keeping my shattered pieces together, until I drifted off into the soundest sleep I have ever experienced.


	5. Cake and Constellations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm's eleventh birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm kind of jumping around time-wise, so bear with me. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment any thoughts. :)

I crouched behind the grey couch in my living room. I looked to my dad across from me and we shared a silent exchange of smiles. Carmilla should be here any second. The sound of muffled footsteps alerted us of her presence outside. Carm knocks quickly before opening up the door and yelling, “Hey cupcake, this new _Doctor Who_ episode better be amazing because I was in the middle of the most amazing book-”

“Surprise!” my dad, Carmilla’s brother Will, her older sister Mattie, and I all screamed at her while jumping out of the dark with huge grins on our faces.

The brunette regarded us with wide eyes before the biggest smile I have ever seen spread across her face. “What are you guys doing here? Mattie, when did you get back?” she ran up to her older sister and gave her a bear hug.

“Your little friend convinced me to take some time off of work and come back home for your eleventh birthday.” Mattie said with a slight smile tugging at her lips.

Carm pulled away from her sister and looked at me; a shocked look plastered on her face. “You did all this,” she gestured wildly to the Edgar Allen Poe decorations lining the living room. (She was very interested in the poet at the time. it took a lot of time, and help from my dad, to find out where to get said decorations, and to know who the heck that dude was).

I smiled shyly at her, “Of course I did! The eleventh birthday is the most important! Or was that the sixteenth? Anyway, I know your mom doesn’t celebrate your birthday, so if I didn’t so it nobody else would. So I looked up pictures of your Poe poet, hehe see what I did there, and apparently he had a thing about ravens or something. And then I called your sister, I got her number from your brother, and talked her into coming down, and here we all are. Whew!” I took a deep breath and smiled at her.

“Don’t hurt yourself cupcake, you can stop to breath.” she said with a slight laugh.

“If it is too much just tell me, I can take it down.” I stated nervously.

“It- it’s perfect.” she whispered as she walked over to me and enveloped me into a hug. “I love it so much, thank you Laura.” She pulled away from me and faced everyone else, “Thank you all, this is the most wonderful birthday I have ever had.”

“You’re welcome kitty.” Will said with a small smirk. I guess he’s not as terrible as I thought, he was at least nice enough to help me get Mattie to come down to celebrate her sister’s birthday.

Carmilla just smiled and then gave everyone hugs and talking animatedly about that Poe guy. Every once in a while, her eyes would meet mine and she would smile at me. I just stood there looking at the most wonderful girl in the world, thinking about how wonderful life is with her in it.

“Whatchu thinkin about kiddo?” my dad questioned as he sidled up next to me.

“Just… that I really like seeing her like this; all happy. She’s so sad all the time; doesn’t let the fire in her eyes burn as brightly when she’s around other people. You know?”

“I do see what you mean.” He said softly, before walking away; lost in thought.

“Hey creampuff.” Carmilla murmured as she appeared by my side. “I wanted to thank you for all this, especially getting Mattie to come down. I haven’t seen her in six years, since she left for Chicago and never looked back. I missed her so much, and calling just isn’t the same as seeing her, you know?”

“It was an honor to help you celebrate your birthday Carm, but it’s not quite over yet.” I said as my dad came out of the kitchen with an all-black cake with “HAPPY ELEVENTH CARMILLA!” scrawled across it in silvery frosting. “Don’t worry, I didn’t make it; dad bought it at the store.” I joked.

She rolled her eyes and mumbled something about “liking it no matter what” under her breath. A chorus of voices started to sing Happy Birthday. When the song was concluded, she closed her eyes and blew out the candles, while everyone cheered.

(000)

            After everyone left, the birthday girl and I were laying on the floor in my room; “Happy birthday Cam.” I said to her as I pulled her gift out from under my bed. She quirked an inquisitive brow, but silently opened it. Tearing away the wrapping paper, she revealed a thick volume on astronomy; mainly the constellations. “Since you always like to look at the stars at night and whatnot, I thought you might like to know about all the different constellations and the stories behind the-”

            My explanation was I interrupted when Carmilla tackled me with a hug; “I absolutely love it.” She whispered softly in my ear.

            Later that night, we sat up on the roof gazing at the stars, Carm narrating the individual stories for each constellation. I look over at my friend and think _there’s no place I’d rather be_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I'll get more into life at home for Carmilla, and why Mattie left.


	6. Endings and Begginings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm's home life. A visit from CPS. A surprise guest makes an appearance. Warning! Graphic depictions of violence. If this is a trigger for you, message me and I'll give you a summary of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is a bit dark, but it gets better later. Oh, side note, I don't know much about the inner workings of CPS so let me know if I make any mistakes.

I was walking back home the day after my eleventh birthday party at Laura’s, kicking at the occasional rock. I have been staying at Laura’s as much as I can; even more since I told her about what was going on at home. Yesterday was the sweetest thing Laura has ever done, I smiled like a dork as I remembered all the raven posters and Edgar Allen Poe’s works posted all over her house. And even after she managed to get my sister to come back home and visit me, and threw me a surprise party, she still thought to get me a gift. I grip the astronomy book tighter and press it firmly against my chest, my very own personal treasure.

            I arrived at my house and sighed, this was going to be interesting. It usually takes me about seven minutes (I may have counted) to get to my house from Laura’s and vice versa, so (unfortunately for me) it didn’t take me long to get home. From the outside, my house is perfect; a manicured lawn, a gorgeous wraparound porch, neatly trimmed hedges, beautiful flowers adorning the yard; its beauty doesn’t show the hideousness hidden within.

            I slinked across the yard, around the house, to the backdoor. Slipping inside I glanced around wearily for any signs of mother. Satisfied that she wasn’t in the immediate vicinity; I closed the door quietly behind me and made my way upstairs. Closing my bedroom door safety behind me, I threw my leather jacket on the desk chair and let out a sigh of relief. I took the book I got from Laura and shifted some things around my bookshelf in order to make enough room to display my gift proudly on the shelf. After I was satisfied with my book’s placement, I sat on the edge of my black comforter and unlaced my combat boots. I then proceeded to strip off the rest of my clothes and change into a pair of shorts and a “Teenage Bottlerocket” t-shirt. After turning off my light and pulling the curtains closed, I climbed under my covers and proceeded to fall asleep.

            I was awakened by the sound of a crash, followed by a pained scream. Cowering under my covers I listened for the inevitable sound of feet stomping up the stairs. My chest hurt from my erratic heartbeat accompanied by frantic breathing. My door burst open and slammed against the wall with a harsh _thump_.

            “How could you do this to me?” mother screamed as she burst into my room. She was dragging a wilting William behind her. His wide brown eyes locked with mine and he mouthed an “I’m sorry” before mother blocked him from my line of sight.

            “What did you tell them?” she howled as she grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me out of my bed onto the floor.

            “Mother I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t tell anyone anything.” I said as calmly as I could.

            This was not the right thing to say. Mother’s eyes flashed dangerously as she leaned down and said in a sickly-sweet voice; “Oh, well if you didn’t say anything there’s no need for me to worry about child protective services showing up at my door.” She slapped me hard in the face, “Stupid little girl! You don’t know all the good I show you, how much I love you when nobody else can. Your father left because he couldn’t bear the fact that you sniveling brats were his children.”

            Tears gathered in my eyes, blurring my vision. Mother’s blue eyes narrowed dangerously before she kicked me in the ribs. An explosion of pain rimmed my vision red. “Now,” she said sweetly, “tell me what I want to know: what did you say to your teachers at school?”

            My vision was still red as I struggled to take in a deep enough breath without making the stabbing pain in my lungs worse. I couldn’t breathe, let alone speak, so when I didn’t reply; mother made it known that she didn’t appreciate that. Another swift kick, to my abdomen this time, made me curl into myself for any sort of protection.

            “Mother I did it.” Will said in a panicked voice; “Please stop hurting Carmilla, she didn’t do anything.”

            Mother whirled around and stalked towards my closet, and brought out a belt. “I’m very upset with you William, in fact, I’m disappointed with both of you.”  As the belt  was brought down on both of us, mother kept telling us how she was the only one that could love us. The only thing I could think between the flashes of agony was: _this isn’t love. Laura actually loves me. This isn’t love. This isn’t love. This isn’t love. Laura loves me._

(000)

            The next morning, I peeled myself off the hardwood floor in my room and hobbled to the bathroom. I slowly worked off my (now ruined) “Teenage Bottlerocket” shirt and examined my body to see the extent of the damage. I gasped slightly at the stinging cuts and bruises that littered my body. My back and sides were splashed with deep cuts from the belt, my legs and front was littered with dark purple bruises. Of course mother was careful to avoid anywhere that the public eye could see.

            I carefully crawled into the shower and let warm water wash over me. I hate this. After I finished washing all the blood off my body, I turn off the water and carefully covered myself with a towel before padding back to my bedroom. I was in the middle of pulling on a black long sleeved shirt when I heard the door ring. I would have just ignored it, but unlike usual, there was yelling.

            I quickly opened up my door and started hobbling downstairs. “You can’t do this to me, these are my children!”

            “I can do this ma’am, there have been reports of suspected abuse and we need to investigate them. In the meantime, your children will need to come with us.”

            I peeked around the corner and saw a very well dressed stranger talking to my livid mother. “Well I’ll just go get them.” My mother said as she began turning away from the door.

            “That won’t be necessary, my associate will go gather your children.” She turned to her right and said, “Mark, will you go get William and Carmilla.”

            My Mother’s face contorted as she watched a tall man brush past her and walk around in search of us. He found me first and led me back outside towards the lady who was patiently waiting for us beside my livid mother. “Hi, I’m Karen and this is my friend Mark.” She gestured to the burly dude, “We’re going to take you back to our work and ask you some questions, alright?”

            I looked to my mother, but she was just staring vehemently at Karen, so I just shrugged and muttered “Sure.” The well-dressed woman smiled warmly and placed a hand on my shoulder to lead me out the door. I hissed in pain and pulled back. Mother’s eyes widened in alarm while Karen’s narrowed in suspicion.

            What happened to your shoulder?” she questioned.

            “Oh, uhh, this? I just fell.” I said quickly while glancing at my mother worriedly.

            Her lips pursed, “I see.”

            “I found William.” Mark announced as he and my brother appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

            “I will see you in a little bit children, mama loves you.” My mother said as she walked up to us and kissed us roughly on the cheek.

            “Ma’am, we really must get going.”

            “Of course.” She said curtly.

            “Could I get something first?” I ask Karen.

            “Yes, of course you can, dear.”

            I nod once and then quickly stumble up the stairs to my room. After throwing on my leather jacket and my favorite pair of converse, I grab the book Laura just got me for my birthday and go back downstairs.

            Mark, Karen, William, and I all shuffled out the door and climbed into a silver Kia. We were mostly silent the entire drive, except for the occasional generic reassurance from Karen. We finally arrived at a building labeled “Child Protection Services” and headed inside. After a whirlwind of questions about my homelife (all of which my brother and I answered truthfully), mother was deemed unfit as a parent.

            Carmilla, William, there is someone here to see you.”

            A tall man with charcoal colored eyes and black hair stepped into the room carefully and regarded us with nervous eyes. “Hi, I don’t know if you remember me. But I- I’m your dad.”


	7. Summerish Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm says how she feels about living with her dad. Summer starts and ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this is kind of a filler chapter; but it is needed for the next chapter to make sense. Hope you enjoy!

“How do you like living with your dad?” I asked Carmilla as she lay sprawled out on her stomach across my bed.

            She sighed dramatically and rolled over, “It’s okay I guess.”

            “Just okay?” I questioned skeptically.

            She sat up and blew her curly black bangs out of her face and smiled slightly; “No, not just okay. I actually like it a lot. He’s a pretty good guy, and he likes to read; just like me.”

            I got up off my desk chair and sat at the edge of my bed next to her, “That’s great Carm, you deserve to be happy. How are you and your brother doing with your mom in jail?”             She looked at me carefully, “Is it wrong that I miss her?”

            “No, not at all. Even though she did all those terrible things to you, she is still your mother, and it’s alright to love her.”

            Tears swam in her eyes as she pulled me into a tight hug, “I’m really glad you are my best friend, cupcake.” She said in my shoulder.

            “Me too Carm, me too.”

(000)

            “Carmilllla! When are you coming over? Summer break is no fun if you’re not here to enjoy it with.” I complained onto the phone.

            “I am literally walking to your house right now cupcake. Patience is a virtue.” My snarky friend replied.

            “Patience is stupid, fun is where it’s at. So hurry up!”

            “I’m walking up the stairs to your porch right now creampuff.”

            I giggled excitedly and raced out of my bedroom and burst open the front door, ramming right into Carmilla. “Ooph, a bit excited aren’t we cupcake?” Carm said as she caught me by the arms and steadied me.

            I smiled happily, just excited she was finally here. “So what do you want to do first? We could watch the new episode of _Doctor Who_ , or we could check out this awesome new show I found called _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ , or we could read the new ‘Harry Potter’ book, or we could go to the park, or we could listen to music, or-”

            “Whoa, settle down cupcake. We have all summer to do this stuff. Just pick one and we can do that.” She said with a chuckle.

            “I say super awesome first day of summer vacation sleepover!!!” I yelled excitedly.

            The brunette just laughed at my ecstatic antics; “That sounds great, I’ll ask my dad. How come that wasn’t in your long list of plans?” her charcoal eyes sparkled.

            “Well you didn’t let me finish.” I said with a mock indignant tone while crossing my arms playfully.

            “That bunched up face you make when you are mad is adorable buttercup.” She replied with a smirk as she brushed past me into my house. “You coming?” she turned back and looked at me expectantly.

            I rolled my eyes playfully and followed her inside.

(000)

            “Are you excited for sixth grade?” I asked Carmilla on our last day of freedom.

            “Not particularly.” She said as she flipped through her book of Emily Dickinson poems, “What’s to look forward to? A bunch of hormonal imbecilic morons who barely know who the current president of the United States is.”

            “C’mon Carm, they can’t all be that bad.

            A scoff was her only reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The girls are starting middle school next chapter; there they will meet the Laf, Perry, Danny, and Kirsch. :)


	8. Middle School Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm and Laura start middle school and meet Perry, Danny, and Laf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is a longer one. Hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for reading! Tell me what you think :)

BEEP BEEP BEEP, my alarm clock screeched at me. I groaned loudly and shoved my head under a pillow. I was just awoken from the weirdest dream… something about me being a vampire and Laura and I being roommates in college… there was something different about this dream- _WAIT! Was I kissing Laura!?_ I sat up abruptly in my bed, knocking off all the books I had sitting on top of my comforter _. No. This couldn’t possibly be happening. It was just a weird dream, calm down Carmilla, just a dream._ That was my new mantra as I got ready for school. Somehow, the fact that I had to repeat it to myself was not convincing me that it was nothing.

            I was so distracted by my ~~good~~ weird dream that I didn’t even notice I was running late for school. A light knock broke me out of my haze, and I ran over to open my bedroom door. Warm cocoa eyes were the first thing I saw. _I never noticed how pretty her eyes were_ I thought to myself before snapped out of it. _Focus Carmilla_. “Hey creampuff, what brings you to this side of the tracks?”

            “Ummm Carm, I was supposed to pick you and your brother up today, my dad’s waiting in his car outside. Did you forget?”

            “Oh. Yeah. Hold on a sec I just need to find my-”

            “Jacket?” she questioned as she held it up, “It was on the floor by the front door, you really should work on being a little more tidy Carm.” She grabbed my hand and started leading me outside. “Will is already in the car, did you want to say goodbye to your dad before we left?”

            “Naw, that’s okay he already left for work.” He takes his job as an English professor at Silas University very seriously; the earlier the better I guess.

            “Well then let’s get this party started! Next stop: Silas Middle School!” Laura yelled as we clambered into her dad’s car.

            I sighed at Laura’s lovable antics, all thoughts of the dream gone from my mind.

(000)

            Though I was excited about starting middle school; I was super bummed Carmilla and I didn’t have all of our classes together. The only ones we shared were English and history. After being dropped off, the sixth graders were all herded towards the auditorium for an introduction to the school and its policies (snooze fest). Carm lounged lazily it the chair next to me, her converse covered feet propped up on the seat in front of her. I couldn’t help but smile at her ability to always make herself comfortable no matter where she is.

            The girl in front of me, with curly red hair kept shushing this couple who kept arguing. I tried (and failed) to hold in my laughter when I saw this red haired girl smack her friend (boyfriend?) upside the head. The curly haired girl turned around and shushed me, and my laughter was abruptly cut off. Carmilla smirked and leaned close to me; “Looks like the amazon over there isn’t too fond of her little puppy, huh?”

            I suppressed a giggle; “Carm you can’t talk about people like that.”

            She smiled sweetly; “Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. And, if I recall correctly, you find the way I talk about people hilarious.” she raises her eyebrow is challenge.

            I laugh quietly and whispered, “I do, but it doesn’t mean it’s what we should do.”

            Rolling her eyes playfully she whispered, “Whatever you say cupcake.”

            The curly haired redhead turned around and shushed Carmilla, “You guys need to listen to the presentation, it’s very important.”

            “Listen Curly Sue; if I wanted to listen to a monotonous egghead talk, I would. But, since I don’t care about anything this guy is blubbering about; I think it would be a better use of my time to talk to my best friend. Perhaps if you had one of your own, you would understand the appeal in doing so.” Carmilla growled harshly.

            I smacked Carm’s arm and apologized to the girl (I found out her name is Lola Perry) for my best friend’s behavior. Carmilla stopped talking for the duration of the (agonizingly boring) presentation; she also seemed to have to grace to look slightly apologetic. Though I understand that Carm had a tendency to lash out at people (for her own protection), not everybody else understood this; meaning I was constantly apologizing for her behavior. I didn’t mind, I just think that a lot of people are missing out on the funny, sweet, sarcastic little bookworm.

            The presentation (finally) ended and we all stood up and started towards our next classes. I gave Carm a huge hug before parting ways with her; “I’ll see you in an hour. Have fun in science!” I said as enthusiastically as I could.

            The brunette rolled her eyes playfully; “Have fun in PE, creampuff.” She said as she started swaggering away.

            I got a bit (a lot) lost on the way to the girl’s gym and arrived late. “Miss Hollis, it would be quite beneficial to you if you decided to make arriving on time an important issue for you.” My PE teacher said to me as I strode into the changing room. “Perhaps a good way to inspire you to be on time in the future, is to not allow you to change out for this week.”

            I gaped at her in disbelief.

            Before I could utter a reply that girl who hit the (as Carmilla would say) puppy dog upside the head during our assembly said; “Mrs. Bakers, she just got lost; it is her first day of school after all. Couldn’t you allow it just this once?”

            “Well, since you;” she scans her seating chart, “miss Lawrence; seem to think your opinion is more important than my own; you will carry out the same sentence as miss Hollis.”

            Nobody had a reply to that. “Well,” Mrs. Bakers said, “now that everyone is finished with disrupting my class; let’s begin with thirty pushups.” The whole class groaned.” Forty.”

            By the end of class, both that girl and my clothes were soaked through with sweat (gross, and I have to wear this all day). As we were exiting the gym, the tall girl ran up to me and said; “Hi, sorry about Mrs. Bakers, she seems a little crazy. Oh, my name is Danny by the way.”

            I scoff, “Just a little. I’m Laura nice to meet you.”

            “Okay maybe that was a bit understated. Anyway, nice to meet you too.” We split off to go to our separate classes, “I hope to see you around Laura.” Danny said with a smile as she walked in the other direction.

(000)

            After Laura and I parted ways, I headed to my science class. I strode into the classroom cockily and sat down at a desk in the middle row of the room, next to some redhead kid.

            The glass started uneventfully, the teacher introduced himself (Mr. Dermer) and talked about the rules for his class. “All right, now that I’ve bored you out of your skulls, let’s end this hour with a little experiment.”

            The redhead kid rubbed their hands together and laughed lowly. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Alright kids, pick a partner.”

            “Lafontaine. And you are?” they held out their hand.

            “Carmilla.” I stared at the outstretched hand until they put it back on their lap.

            “Cool, wanna be partners?”

            “Sure gingersnap.”

            Fifteen minutes later, my lab partner and I accidentally set our experiment on fire. Lafontaine started blowing on it (thinking it would put it out, I guess) and caused it to explode in their face. BOOM! “Ahhh!” Laf screamed as they swiped fearfully at their eyebrows; which had caught fire.

            I grabbed a towel and tackled them to the ground, smacking the fire on their face hurriedly. The fire finally went out and we sat there panting heavily. Lafontaine’s eyebrows were singed, and they had black powder all over their face, but other than that, they were fine.

            “Ladies, office. Now.” Mr. Dermer said in a low voice.

            We jumped up and scrambled out the door, not even looking back. “Well, that was interesting gingersnap. I think I’ll have to keep you around.” I laughed as we walked to the office.

            They just raised a singed eyebrow at me and smiled. “I guess I’ll have to keep you around if I want to keep my eyebrows.”

            I smiled at that.


	9. Seeing the World in Poetry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poems and yeah, it's kinds nerdy haha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter is a bit short. Thanks so much for all the comments and kudos, it is such fun writing for you! Let me know if you want more poetry or if I should scrap it. Enjoy!

_Safe: By Laura Hollis_

_Safety comes in many forms, just ask anyone._

_It all depends on the person, because we think different things._

_Some need control; there is no room for the spontaneous and fun._

_Others are more materialistic; comfort is what objects bring._

_There are those who fear, more than most, the agony of a knife in the back._

_These are the ones that build up walls taller than the highest towers,_

_With the all-consuming anxiety that someone will slip through the cracks._

_To prevent their worst fear from coming to life, they lug those heavy stones for hours._

_Some keep their distance behind a mask.._

_The funny one, the sweet one, or perhaps the one that is silent._

_They change their appearance whenever something unwanted is asked._

_Ever-changing, to fit the situation, they are ever pliant._

_Different still, are the masters of distraction._

_A mirror in front of them directs the eye away from who lies behind._

_When reflection fails; smoke rushes into action,_

_Nestled in shadows seems to be their kind._

_All this, and more, inspired by fear;_

_Of pain, of betrayal, of letting anyone in._

_Most people don’t notice their shattered hearts or tears,_

_But I do, and I wonder where it begins._

_Does it begin when their heart breaks for the very first time?_

_Or is it when that fist-sized muscle is too scarred to beat again?_

_Where did that person lose all faith, and draw the line?_

_Perhaps it begins when they find the strength to trust one last time in the end._

            I finished writing my poem and stared at it intently. Was it too much? This was just an English assignment after all. _“Write a poem about how you see the world”_ Miss Karamazov said to the class earlier that week. I have spent the entirety of this past week stressing over my poem. I’m not sure if I want to submit it; I know we have to read it aloud and I think it’s a little too personal for my taste. I sigh and set my poem down, turning to face Carmilla. “Hey, did you finish your poem yet?” I ask the reading girl.

            She lookers up from her book and adjusts her (totally adorable) reading glasses (which she hates and will only wear around me). “Yeah I did cupcake, what about you?”

            “Cool, me too.”

            “What’s bothering you, creampuff.” She asked after studying me quietly for a few seconds.

            “I don’t know Carm,” I groan, “it’s just, well, I think my poem might be a little too much.”

            “Could I read it?” her charcoal eyes focused solely on me as she asked it.

            I don’t know why but I shiver at her intense gaze. “What? Oh, yeah, sure. Here you go.” I grab my poem and hand it to her. “Do you think, maybe, I could read yours as well?”

            She winks at me and roots around in her binder until she pulls out a crumpled piece of paper, “Whatever you want cupcake.”

            I smile nervously and take her paper; reading through it carefully. I loved it. I didn’t know she felt that way about the world. After I finished reading, I looked up at Carmilla. Her reading glasses perched precariously on her nose as she was reading, her inky curls tumbled down past her shoulders; perfectly framing her face. “Like what you see?” her eyes looked up to meet mine.

            I blushed and laughed nervously. Ignoring her question I said; “I really love your poem Carm.”

            She smiled slightly and murmured a shy “thank you.” Before fiddling with my poem. “I like your poem Laura. I think you should read it to the class; the world would be a lot better place if people took the time to understand one another.”

            I pluck my poem out of her hand and hive her a hug, “Thanks Carm. What would I do without you?”

            “The same thing I would do without you: be a hopeless wreck.”

(000)

            The next day I am listening to Laura finish her poem; “…to trust one last time in the end.” I looked around the classroom and smirked when I saw all the dumbfounded expressions on the other student’s faces. I don’t know why, but everyone always assumes Laura is either ditsy or shallow; I don’t know how they don’t see the bright, perceptive girl I know. I smile loudly and started clapping; the rest of the class joined in until it was a huge wave of applause roiling around the classroom. Laura smiles shyly and walks back to her seat, next to mine.

            “You rocked it cupcake.” I said quietly in her ear. She smiled proudly.

            “Alright, that was lovely.” Miss Karamazov said, “And now…” she paused and looked around the class, her eyes landing on me, “the début of Miss Karnstein.”

            I sigh as I clamber out of my seat and swagger to the front of the class. “My poem is titled ‘hope’” I began:

            “ _I look around me, and see little lights all around_

_Shining from people, the sky, the ground._

_Each light has a different shade, color, and intensity._

_I observe these lights with growing awe,_

_A wonder how beautiful the world could be if they saw what I saw._

_With each person a glowing star, with fires burning inside;_

_If only people’s beauty had nowhere to hide._

_But, alas, people are blind; and it snuffs out the glowing embers of others._

_And we walk around forever not truly seeing each other.”_

            I cleared my throat awkwardly and slinked back to my seat; avoiding any eye contact. I stole a glance at Laura and saw a delighted smile on her face as she gave me two thumbs up. I rolled my eyes jokingly and returned her dorky smile.

            “That was excellent, Carmilla. And now, mister..” I tuned out everything for the rest of class.

            When the bell rung, Laura and I stood up and started to walk out of the classroom, only to be stopped by Curly Sue. “Hello, I just wanted to saw I truly enjoyed your poems.”

            “Thank you Lola, we appreciate it.” Laura said sweetly as she elbowed me in order to prompt me to respond kindly.

           “Yeah, thanks.” (What? I was nice, at least for me.)

            “Oh, you can call me Perry.” She clears her throat uncomfortably, “Well, since you did such a good job with your poems, I was wondering if you could assist me with mine?”

            “Yeah, that sounds great, Perry.”

            “Oh, lovely. Might I have your contact information, so that I might be able to contact you?”

            “Yeah, of course.” Laura said before rattling off her and my numbers. “See you around Perry.” She said as we hurried to our other classes.

            I groan internally, the last thing I need is to be forced to help Curly Sue write a stupid poem. Oh well, maybe I can hang out with Laura afterward.


	10. Party Invitations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura is invited to a party. The gang are all eighth graders now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry about the wait, for some reason this chapter was hard for me. Is kind of a filler, but some real crap is gonna go down next chapter. Happy Easter all! Hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Hey again; I jut edited this a little bit because there was confusion about the timeline. The gang is now in eighth grade. I kind of time skipped. If you are unhappy with said time skip; or you just want me to write about a certain middle school thing that I missed; message me and I shall happily write things for you. I love you guys!

“Hey Laura, how are you?” Danny asked as she approached me. Even after a couple of years, I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see her.

            “Good, how about you?”

            “I’m good, thanks.” She paused, “Umm, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to a party at my house?”

            “Yeah that sounds fun! What for? Ohmygosh, is it your birthday?! Why didn’t you tell me? I have to go buy some gifts! What kinds of things do you lik-”

            “Whoa, it’s not my birthday, just a little party.” Danny smiled.

            “Oh, cool,” I smiled awkwardly, “In that case could I bring my friend Carmilla?”

            She kind of grimaced before saying yes. Soon we had to part ways; “See you round Hollis, I’ll text you the details of the party.” She said as she strutted away.

(000)

Truth be told; I really am starting to like my weirdo lab partner in science (though I did find out they were best friends with Curly Sue; which lost them cool points). Ever since we got in trouble for blowing up our science experiment in class, we have got some serious street cred (well I did, them; not so much). Plus (though it is something I find seriously embarrassing) they appeal to my inner nerd. I have obsessively read many a science book (a great deal of which have to do with astronomy thanks to Laura), and have really come to enjoy the subject. The appeal of having Laf as a lab partner had most definitely become apparent these past couple years (though our science teacher was not very fond of that decision; he heard about our accidental explosion).

We had just spent the entire class period gushing about the makeup of different stars and arguing about whether or not we should do a project on them (that was, until the teacher interrupted us and snapped at us for interrupting his class). As we were walking out of the classroom our conversation (a continuation of the one we were having in class), was interrupted by my favorite person.

“We should definitely do a project on the different stars in the univer- hey cupcake.” Laf gave me a look as I cut off our heated conversation.

Laura skipped up to me and smiled warmly, “Hiya Carm.” She nodded in Laf’s direction, “Hi Lafontaine, it’s good to see you.”

“Hey, Laura.” Laf said.

“What’s on your mind, creampuff?”

Her chocolate eyes crinkled as she smiled nervously at me, “Well, I was invited to his party by Danny, and asked her if you could go and she said ‘sure’ so I was wondering if that would be something you want to do. I don’t know what they do t these parties, though. As you know I’m not really much of a party person. Do people judge you for not going to a party? I men it is only middle school. But at the same time we are eighth graders, so maybe it does matter-”

I gripped Laura’s shoulders, “Breath, cupcake.” She inhaled deeply and Lafontaine stifled a laugh, “Okay buttercup; you said a party? Thrown by Zena?” she nods silently, “I’ll go with you, no need to worry about anything. And, if it makes you feel better, I don’t think you were invited as some sort of power play. We’ll go and it’ll be fine, okay?” she nodded again and sighed contently.

“Thanks, Carm. You always know what to say. Well I have to go, talk to you later!” she gave me a quick hug and walked away calling over her shoulder; “Bye Laf!”

“Whoa, that girl can talk.” Lafontaine exclaimed after Laura’s departure.

“Yeah, she’s always been like that.” I said with a small smile as I remembered the first day we met, “Anyway,” I turned to face them, “how bad is this party going to be?”

“Not too bad, I hope. If it helps, Perry and I are going as well.”

I let out a small breath, “It helps a little, I guess.”


	11. Grape Soda and Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spin the bottle; who kisses who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe and so it begins.

“Carmmm, you need to move faster if we want to get to the party on time!” Laura whined at me.

            I rolled my eyes, “Cupcake, nobody shows up to parties on time. It’s really nerdy.”

            “Yeah, I’m going to trust the nerdiest of nerds to tell me that I’m nerdy.” Laura scoffed.

            I point to her _Doctor Who_ backpack, “Point proven.”

            “First, that is considered geeky; not nerdy. Second,” she gestures animatedly at my entire room, “all these science books and astronomy posters are the epitome of nerdy. So I believe you. Are. The. Biggest. Nerd. Here.” She punctuated her final word with a poop on my nose.

            “I resent that accusation.” I deadpanned.

            “Mhmm, c’mon buster, let’s get a move on.” She grabbed my leather jacket and threw it at me. “Doesn’t your dad say anything about your newfound love for leather everything?” she questioned as she eyed my leather pants and combat boots.

            “Nope,” I popped my lips at the end of the word, “he is in his own world; doesn’t notice much.”

            “How does that make you feel?” she asked in a serious tone.

            “I don’t know my therapist.” I snarked. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Okay; I’m not really sure how to feel. I guess it’s better than getting beaten.” She winced and I cringed internally; _too blunt_. I walked up to her and gave her a big hug; “Hey, it’s okay.”

            “I just don’t like that anybody laid a hand on you.” She whispered as she gripped me tighter. “Hey, I should be the one comforting you; nothing happened to me.” Her words were slightly muffled by my shoulder.

            I pulled back from the hug and looked into her watery eyes, “You should _never_ apologize for how you feel, okay?”

            She sniffed, “Okay.”

            I smiled, “Now, let’s go to this incredibly lame party.”

            Rolling her eyes and smiling, Laura led me out the front door.

(000)

            “Hey Laura, welcome.” Danny said to me with a wide smile. She turned to my best friend with a nod; “Elvira.”

            Carm smirked; “Zena:”

            “Anywho…” I said awkwardly; interrupting their staring contest.

            Danny shakes her head, as if to clear it; “Oh, yeah. Come in.” she unblocked the door and allowed us through. “The party is downstairs.” She led us down into a spacious basement filled with a bunch of kids from school. I only recognized a few: Perry, Lafontaine, that; as Carm would say; “puppy dog” (I think his name is Kirsch), and of course Danny, Carmilla, and myself.

            Danny introduced me to everyone I didn’t know (she would also introduce Carm; but she used weird names instead of Carmilla, every time.) After I was introduced to everyone, I felt a little better and loosened up (perhaps a bit too much, if I’m honest). I may or may not have drank five grape sodas before Carm managed to cut me off, my head is a little fuzzy after that. The next thing I remember; everyone at the party was in a circle playing spin the bottle (which was just an empty 2 liter bottle).

            “Okay little hottie, your turn.”

            “Kirsch! I told you to stop calling people hottest!” Danny growled angrily.

            “Sorry D-bear.” puppy- I mean Kirsch- said with an embarrassed look on his face.

            “Okay little nerd hot- sorry.” He looked apologetically at Danny, “Your turn.” Carmilla caught my eye and smirked when Kirsch called me “nerd”, I will have to tell her later that I am not a nerd; I am a geek.

            “Okayyy.” I said, drawing out the word as I reached down and spun the bottle. It twirled for a while until it slowed down and stopped. My mouth gaped open and s bunch of boys cheered when they saw who the bottle pointed to: none other than Danny.

            She smiled nervously before leaning forward and locking lips with me.

(000)

            My eyes widened for a second, and then returned to normal, when I saw the bottle Laura spun land on the Amazonian. _No fucking way_. I though as I watched the giantess lean forward and meet Laura’s lips with her own. I heard her gasp slightly and then my vision blurred red. I don’t remember what happened the rest of the game; all I kept seeing was that stupid kiss. At some point I kissed the repulsive puppy-boy (it was difficult not to gag). Ew.

            At the end of the night Laura and I were walking home and she grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Yeah cupcake?”

            “Uh, well, I’ve been thinking.”

            “Wow, that’s new.” I snarked; hoping to lighten the mood.

            “Carm, this is serious.” Laura said quietly.

            I straightened up, “What’s wrong Laura?”

            “Well, I- I think I’m gay.”

            “Wait, what?”

            “Uhhm, I was thinking that I was for a while now, cuz have you seen how freaking hot girls are? Anyway, and then I kissed Danny,” my ears started to buzz, “so, yeah, I’m ninety-nine percent sure that I am gay. Carm? Are you okay? You don’t hate me do you?”

            I snapped out of it; “What?! No I don’t hate you! I could _never_ hate you. I love you, and I always will. Besides; being gay isn’t even a bad thing. And, just so you know, I will support you no matter what okay?”

            Laura’s eyes widened at my rant, before she pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

            “So, you and Zena, huh?”

            She blushed and rolled her eyes muttering an “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Followed by a, “But I wouldn’t say no if she asked me out.” I smiled at her as we walked side by side towards my house. I didn’t want her to know just how much it was killing me inside that she was that interested in the giantess. And deep down; I wish it was me she was interested in.


	12. Star Gazing and Love Interests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls gaze at stars. Laura is asked on a date. Carmilla is speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe I have a surprise for you guys :). I hope you enjoy. I also would like to thank you all for your time, kudos, and comments. It is a pleasure to write for you.

Carm had been acting really weird since I told her I was gay. She keeps staring at me when she thinks I’m not looking; it’s kinda wigging me out. “Carm, you’re staring again.” I said as a I read _Go Ask Alice_ (what? It’s for school).

            “It’s because you have something on your face.”

            “And what might that be?” I questioned as I looked up at her.

            “An eyelash.” She said as she leaned closer and brushed her finger lightly over my cheek. She balanced my eyelash on her finger and held it up for me to see; “Make a wish.”

            I made a wish and blew it off of her finger.

            “What did you wish for?” she whispered seriously.

            “That we stayed friends forever.”

            “That’s a silly wish.” Carmilla said.

            I scoffed angrily, “And why is that?”

            “Because you don’t need to wish for us to never break apart; that would never happen.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulder, “It’s you and me forever, cupcake; you’re stuck with me.”

            “That’s the best way to be.” I murmured quietly to myself.

(000)

            “Wake up, creampuff.” I gently shook Laura’s arm. “Wake up. Open your eyes.”

She groaned and shoved her head under her pillow. “Now is the time for sleep, Carm” she moaned.

“Cupcake, get up.” I pulled her pillow off her head. “I have chocolate.”

Her head shot up and she blinked sleepily at me; “Chocolate you say?”

“Oh, so that’s what I need to say to get you out of bed. Good to know.” I smirked.

She groaned; “So, no chocolate?”

I grinned; “Nope. But, I have something better.”

“Cookies?”

“Follow me.” I helped her out of bed and led her to the roof; where I had laid out a blanket and a couple pillows. “Tada. Tonight is a huge meteor shower and I wanted to watch it with you.” I smile shyly. “If you don’t want to I can- hey where are you going?”

Laura had turned away and started walking back downstairs; “To get hot chocolate; I will find star gazing more enjoyable with some. Do you want any?” she stopped and turned around to look at me.

“I would love a cup.”

“Okeedokee.”she called over her shoulder.

I smiled as I plopped down on my blanket pile. A few minutes later; Laura walked slowly across the roof balancing two steaming mugs in each hand. Her little pink tongue poked out from between her lips. “Now isn’t that the cutest thing I have ever seen.” I said ask stood up. “Here, let me help.” I took one mug and sat down next to her.

We sipped our hot chocolate and talked about anything and everything until a streak of sparks rippled across the sky. “Woah! Did you see that?” Laura practically screamed.

“Yeah, I did cupcake. Though, I don’t think you screaming it at me makes me see it any better.” I winked at her and laid back on the blanket after setting down my hot cocoa.

“Oops, sorry haha.”

“It’s alright; I’m glad you think it’s cool enough to yell about.”

As we gazed at the pool of stars; gasping in awe as meteors streamed past our line of sight; Laura reached across the blanket and grabbed my hand. I held in a grin. “I’m really glad you woke me up for this Carm.”

“Me too, cupcake. Me too.”

(000)

“Hi Danny, how are you?” I asked the redhead as I approached her in the hall. It has been five days since we kissed and it’s all I think about when I see her.

“Hey, Laura. I’m good. How about you?” _Oh my gosh did her eyes just flick down to my lips._

“Oh, I’m doing great. Yep, just great.” I smile and try not to stare at her mouth.

“-hang out sometime?” I must have zoned out a little bit while she was talking (so much for not being distracted).

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Would you like to go out, like on a date some time.” She shifted awkwardly.

I beamed; “I would love to.”

“Cool! How about Friday?”

“Sounds great!” I cleared my throat in an attempt to sound a little more smooth, and a little less ridiculously excited; “I mean, see you then.”

Later that day I excitedly skipped up to my best friend and smiled like an idiot at her. She raised an inquisitive brow and smirked; “What’s got you so worked up, creampuff?”

“Well,” I leaned closer excitedly; “I just got asked out on a date by Danny! Eee!”

“Ow, I kind of need my eardrums intact sweetheart; you know; to be able to hear.”

“Oops, sorry.” I blushed.

She smiled (it was completely fake; what’s that all about?) “I hope you have fun, cupcake. Hey, I have to get to class. See you around” she then proceeded to swagger away; leaving me standing there confused. _What’s up with Carm? And why did she fake that smile._ I decided I needed to test my sleuthing skill; I’m going to find out what is going on with my best friend. She had seemed really weird and broody (more than average) lately; I am determined to find out why. My hunch is that she found someone she is interested in. I guess we will see.

(000)

_The Amazonian asked her out on a date; why didn’t I do that?_ I kicked angrily at my locker.

            “Woah, what did that innocent locker do to you?” this cute blonde said to me as she sauntered up to me.

            “Nothing, it’s an inanimate object. That cannot feel anything: by the way. It is also not capable of innocence.” I snapped.

            She swaggered up to me and leaned close; her green eyes sparkling mischievously; “Neither am I.” my jaw dropped to the floor. She took her index finger and gently pushed my jaw closed. “I’m Elle, by the way.” I was silent; stupidly staring at her. “See you around, gorgeous.” I tried not to stare at her retreating form as she walked away (and failed, if you saw her butt; you would know why).

            “What the hell just happened there?” asked Laf as they came up behind me.

            “I have no clue.” I muttered as I continued staring in the direction of the mysterious “Elle”.

            “Somebody should work on finding a way to keep the drool in your mouth.”

            I snapped out of it and smacked them on the arm; “Shut the hell up gingersnap.”

            “There’s my ever-witty friend.” They snarked at me.

            I just rolled my eyes and muttered; “Whatever.” Before marching to class; Lafontaine at my side mercilessly teasing me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahaha. Drama shall ensue (eventually) <3


	13. Little Green Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahaha! and so the fighting begins. Shall out little lovers prevail in the battle against their feelings? Guess you'll have to read to find out <3
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and feedback; it just makes writing for you that much more enjoyable. Enjoy!

I may of not have been day dreaming about that mysterious blonde who was flirting with me the other day. Okay, in all honesty, I wouldn’t stop thinking about her. The emerald eyes, the honey hair, the seductive swagger; how could I not think about that? The only problem (well one of the only problems) is that I haven’t seen her since that day. Where the hell did she go? The other problem is; of course; that a certain midget (who has a serious obsession with cookies) is still haunting my dreams. Speaking of which: “-are you even listening to me?”

            I looked up and regarded Laura with a sheepish expression; “Sorry, what was that creampuff?”

            Laura sighed, “I was just saying that my date with Danny went really well. She’s so sweet and so chivalrous, and opens doors and orders my meals; okay, that kind of annoys me, but it’s the thought that counts right?”

            “Cupcake, I love you; but I do not want to know about your date with Zena the warrior princess.”

            “Would you want to hear about it if it was with a guy?” she crossed her arms defensively.

            _Oh. I know where this is going. Quick, say something. Fix it!_ I stuttered through my thoughts until; “What? Laura, you know I don’t have a problem with that! I just find the images of you with the Amazonian together nauseating. She’s so… controlling, and overprotective. And you, you don’t need protection. You’re strong and can take care of yourself; you’re not some fragile little thing that needs someone to treat you like you might break at any second. So, no, I don’t want to hear about it because you like girls; and it would never be for that reason anyway. And the fact that you think that little of me says a lot; so I’m just going to go.” I stood up and began walking out of Laura’s bedroom.

            Laura stumbled after me; “Carmilla, please, wait.” She grabbed my hand and spun me around. “I didn’t mean it like that I- I guess I am just not as okay with how I am as I wish I was, and I’m putting that on you.” She sighed sadly and grabbed both of my hands, effectively pulling me closer to her and forcing me to look into her chocolate eyes; “I haven’t even told my dad yet. I just feel like I’m letting him down. And he’s had enough heart break after mom’s death; he doesn’t need more-”

            “Okay, I’m going to need you to stop right there.” I squeeze her hands lightly for emphasis; “because you are a lot of things: short, a _geek_ , a dork, a _Doctor Who_ fanatic;” she gives a watery smile at my jokes, “but you are _never, ever_ , a failure or a disappointment. Do you hear me?” she nods silently. “Good. And besides,” I pause and consider whether or not to tell her what’s going on with me. Choosing to tell her I blurt: “I’m gay too, so, yeah.” I shrug awkwardly. _So much for that_. I thought to myself.

            Laura’s mouth dropped open and she started sputtering; “You- wait- you – what- gay? What? GAY! What! How? When? Where? WHAT! Why didn’t you tell me?”

            “Uh, maybe because of the blundering psycho you just turned into.” I muttered while blowing my bangs out of my face.

            “Don’t sass me Karnstein.”

            I sigh, “Ugh, okay. Um, well, yes I am gay. I was born that way. I have always known. And it was made much more clear when this girl-“ I cut off my sentence; but it was too late.

            Her eyes narrowed and she leaned closer, her voice now a teasing lilt; “A girlll huh?” she smirked.

            “Ugh, cupcake; don’t get that tone with me.”

            She laughed and let go of my hands and started dancing around her room singing: “Carmilla has a crush, Carmilla has a crush!” I rolled my eyes. “Carm and some girl sitting in a tree K I S S I N G.”

            “Okay! I’m going to have to cut you off there, creampuff.” I touched the opening to my ears and pulled them back making a show of inspecting them; “I think the lack of pitch from your song burst my eardrums.” I squinted at my fingertips; “Yep, there’s blood.” Laura rolled her eyes and cocked on of her hips to the side with an attitude. “That bunched up face you make when you are angry is adorable, buttercup.” I smirk and plop down on her desk chair.

            “Psh, whatever; I’ a great singer.” She said with mock offense. “Sooooo”

            “Oh god, what?”

            “What’s her name?”

            “Who’s name.” I hoped playing dumb might make this agony stop.

            “The girl who managed to catch the glorious Carmilla Karnstein’s eye, silly”

            I rolled my eyes and scooted lower in my chair. “Her name is Elle.”

            Laura froze and her smile fell off her face; “Wait. Elle? Like blonde hair, green eyes, drop dead gorgeous Elle?”

            “Uh yeah. How do you know her?”

            “Carm, pick someone else. Anybody else. She is bad news. I have science with her and I have seen how she is with people. She is the queen of fuckboys. She takes people’s hearts in her hands and throws them off of the highest cliff she can find and watches them shatter to pieces. And then laughs when she sees them curled up on the ground in agony.”

            “I think you are being a bit dramatic cupcake. Besides, you don’t really have a say in who I date.” _Just like I don’t get a say in who you date._ I thought sadly to myself.

            “I just worry for you, Carm. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

            I sighed and stood up taking her hand in my own and pulling her close to me; “I know cupcake, I know.”

(000)

            “Hey Laura! What are you staring at?” Perry asked as she walked over to me.

            “Shh. Just watch.” I said to her in a whisper.

            Carmilla was talking to Elle. Elle was leaning really close to her and talking lowly. I was not liking where this was going. Carmilla blushed and looked down, the blonde used her pointer finger to lift up Carm’s chin. _Oh hell no. That little she devil is not going to be doing ANTHING with my best friend_. Before I thought about what I was doing; I marched up to the pair and started talking; leaving a very confused Perry behind me.

            “Hey Carm did you do the English homework? I wasn’t sure about number- oh, hey who is this?”

            Elle scoffed and rolled her green eyes; “Well if it isn’t miss know it all.” She turns to Carmilla; “This little nerd does not _shut up_ during science class; she’s always spouting off answers to every question.” She laughed (what a weirdo).

            “Uh I know all this stuff because Carm is really into- ow, what?”

            Carmilla had just discreetly (but not really discreetly) elbowed me in the side; effectively cutting off my sentence. “Well, Elle, I’m going to catch you later” Carm smiled uncomfortably before starting to turn away; with me in tow (she had a ninjas death grip on my wrist).

Elle stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and leaned really close to her ear; “I will see you later, Karnstein.”

Carm shivered and gaped as Elle walked away. After the she-witch was out of sight; Carmilla turned to me and slapped my arm as hard as she could; “What the hell was that for?”

I scoffed; “Um, okay, what? What was what for? All I did was start to tell her the truth! You are a big science _geek_ and that IS why I know so many things about science.” I glared at her; “I thought being smart was not something to be ashamed of; but apparently it is, so I’ll make sure to play down your intelligence as much as I can when you are around that vixen!”

“You know what?” snarled Carmilla. “I don’t talk about how you handle the disaster that is you and Danny, so why the hell do you get a right to talk about me and Elle?” she cut off my response by continuing her rant, “You always get into people’s business! You snoop and it really fucks up people’s lives. So do me a favor and leave it the hell alone!”

Tears gathered in my eyes as I regarded my best friend of nine years; “You know what Carm? I’ll do you one better;” I started stepping away from the fuming brunette; “How about I just leave you the hell alone. Come talk to me when you get your head out of your ass.” I turned on my heel and stormed away; towards Perry (who was standing there dumbstruck).

“C’mon Per, we have to get to math class.” The ginger followed after me silently. I could see the gears in her head turning: she was going to have a lot of questions for me later. But right now I couldn’t care less. Nothing mattered anymore; not when my best friend wasn’t my best friend anymore; not when I was alone. I spotted Danny and made a split-second stupid decision.

I told Perry to go ahead of me and made a beeline towards the taller redhead. “Hey Laura. What are you doing? Hey!” I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the nearest girl’s bathroom and locked the door. Pressing her up against the wall; I stood on my tippy toes and pressed my lips to hers.

“More kissing less talking.” She didn’t have anything to say after that.

(000)

_Holy shit! What did I just do?_ I stood there staring at Laura’s retreating form; a fog surrounding my mind. I watched her walk angrily next to Perry. I also watched her grab the Giantess’ arm and drag her to the girls bathroom; practically stripping her with her eyes.

Elle appeared out of nowhere; “Hey, I just saw what happened. Do you want to go somewhere and talk about it?”

Suddenly, ditching class sounded like an excellent idea. “Sure.” Elle grabbed my hand and led me to a janitor’s closet. Memories of the first time I met Laura assaulted my mind. To distract myself; I pulled the blonde closer and pressed my lips her neck. _Two can play at this game, cupcake._ I thought evilly before getting lost in the girl in my arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me too much. :)


	14. Krav Maga and Other Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura find Carm in a compromising position; violence ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovelies! This chapter has violence and illusions to touching someone without consent so if these are triggers for you please comment of message me and I will send you a summary. I hope you guys like it :)

“Mmm, L-Laura we need to s-stop.” Danny said between erratic breaths. I had already managed to take off her shirt and was busy trying to undo her bra when she stopped me firmly with a hand.

“What you don’t like this?” I questioned as I leaned closer to her and pressed my lips to her collar bone.

“Uhh, that is n-not the problem here.” Her hands gently pushed me away.

I sighed loudly and stepped back; “Then what is? Because last I checked; you weren’t complaining.”

Her eyes narrowed dangerously; “Okay I didn’t argue because the cute girl I am dating surprised me with a random make-out session, but you are taking it too far. I’m not ready to go past where we are right now, and I don’t think you are either. So before you go and ruin our first time doing anything other than kissing; you better calm the hell down and stop being an ass about this. And if you think this is the right way to treat me; or anyone else for that matter; then I don’t think it is a good idea for you to be dating ANYONE right now.”

“I’m sorry; I don’t want to force you if you don’t want it.” I said.

She grabbed her shirt off the ground and angrily wrestled her arms into it and pulled it over her head; “You need to stop and figure yourself out Laura.” She turned towards the door, unlocked it, then turned back to me and said softly; “I know you are having some issues with being gay. It’s really not a bad thing, but it’s not the best idea to be try to be with someone when you can’t give all of yourself to them.” She smiled sadly, “I really like you Laura. So, when you are ready, let me know and we can try this again.”

She turned, opened the door, and walked out; leaving me more confused and alone than before. Tears pooled in my eyes and the world blurred. I let myself fall to the ground, not even feeling the impact, and cried. Breathing started to get difficult, and I greedily tried to gulp in air. Panicking and sobbing; I lied on the ground; just hoping that it would all stop hurting soon. How had I, in one day, lost both my best friend and a girl that I really liked? How could I be so careless with the people in my life; especially after losing my mother? Once someone dies so suddenly, and you never get them back, you tend to never take anyone for granted again. Yet, here I was, doing just that.

I cried and cried before standing up on wobbly legs and washing off my face with cold water (luckily, I don’t wear makeup, so no need to worry about it running). I was careful not to look in the mirror (at the disaster area that was my face) as I walked out of the bathroom. The first thing I need to do is find Carmilla and apologize; if she wants to date she-demon, I mean Elle, then I will just have to be there for her when everything goes to crap.

Wondering the halls (after checking math; which is where Carm is supposed to be, but isn’t), I heard a noise and stopped walking. I heard a small thump and strained my ears harder in order to discern where the sound is coming from. Deciding that it is coming from a janitor’s closet to my left; I quietly stride to the door and put my ear up to it. What I heard made me so mad that my head started to throb and my vision started to blur as I ripped open that door and yelled; “WHAT IN THE FRILLY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!?”

(000)

            Kissing Elle was a lot better than I thought it would be (and I already thought it would be good). I smirked as she groaned in my mouth; I was definitely getting a hang of this making out thing. “You know,” she said as she pulled away and ran a finger down my arm and back up; “we could make this a bit more interesting.”

            I lifted one eyebrow; panting slightly, “And how is that?”

            Her hand slid down my waist, to the edge of my shirt. She gripped my shirt and started to pull it off. “Like this.” She whispered in my ear.

            My heart rate picked up as I pushed her back a little; “Um, hey, this is fun and all, but I don’t really want to do that.” I started to pull my shirt back down.

            “Oh, I don’t think so.” She pushed me, hard, against a wall and grabbed my arms; effectively restraining me. “I did not skip class for a little light making out. We are going to do this.” She yanked off my shirt and slammed me back into the wall.

            “Ow. What the hell? I said no!” I pushed against her and moved towards the door.

            “Oh no, dear, you are going to stay with me a while and we are going to do what I want” her hands started roaming up and down my sides. She started kissing my neck; hard.

            “Please. Stop. Get. Off. Me.”

            “Sorry sugar not until-”

            “WHAT IN THE FRILLY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!?” I turned my head towards the door and saw Laura standing in the doorway; bathed in light. She strode up to us and yanked Elle off me by her hair. “I seem to recall hearing her say no.” she growled in the blonde’s ear.

            Elle smiled cruelly before turning towards the brunette; “I don’t recall anyone asking you, midget.”

            “I don’t recall caring. Get the hell out of here and leave Carm alone.”

            “You better watch yourself.” Snarled Elle as she got in Laura’s face.

            “Oh, you do _not_ want to mess with me.”

            “I think I do.” Elle smiled wickedly as she pushed Laura back and hard as she could.

            Laura barely stumbled before straightening out and raising her fists; “You really shouldn’t have done that.” Brown eyes sparkled angrily as Laura’s foot whirled through the air and connected hard with Elle’s face. Elle cried out as she stumbled back and fell; but Laura didn’t stop there; she leaped on top of Elle and started punching her. “No” punch “means” punch “no” punch “you” Elle screamed is pain “BITCH!” Laura yelled over the scream.

            Realizing that Laura wasn’t going to stop until Elle was either dead or incapacitated I quickly ran up to her and gripped her arms, pulling her off of the bleeding blonde. “Laur, you need to stop.”

            “Not until she is dead!” Laura snarled as she struggled to reach the girl sprawled on the ground.

            “No. Laura look at me.” She stopped struggling and faced me; breathing heavily. “She isn’t worth it, okay?”

            “But you are.” She said with desperate tears in her eyes.

            “There isn’t any need to do anything else, she isn’t going to touch me again.”

            “You don’t know that Carm.” She said tiredly.

            “I do, cupcake, because nobody wants to get the hell beat out of them once let alone twice.”

            She laughed slightly and sniffled. Looking at Elle, the smile melted off her face. “I guess I might have lost it. Just a bit.”

            “I’m going to have to say a lot more than just ‘a bit’ creampuff.”

            “Yeah.” She sighed and smiled sheepishly, “Oops.”

            “OOPS! Oops does not even _begin_ to cover the trouble you are in ladies.” We started and turned towards the angry person who had just spoken: Mrs. Ellena.

            “Mrs. Ellena, I can explain-”

            “Do not speak. Do not even open you little mouths.” We snapped our mouths shut. “Now, the first thing we are going to do is get all of you to the nurse.” The teacher’s eyes focused on the girl on the ground moaning in pain, then on Laura’s bloody fists, and finally; on me. I looked down and gasped when I saw a dark bruises on my arms where Elle had gripped me. “I don’t know what happened in here; and I don’t think I want to. You will have to speak with principal Morten when you are all finished cleaning up. Then we are going to call your parents.” _Well shit_ I thought fearfully. “Go! March. Start moving!” Mrs. Ellena helped Elle up and started guiding her towards the nurse’s office.

 _Oh great, this is going to be a long day_.

(000)

            “What on Earth were you _thinking,_ Laura?” my dad yelled on the car ride home from Carmilla’s house. (Her dad was mad she skipped class, but was horrified when he found out she was being, like, attacked by Elle; and was a bit more forgiving after that. She was grounded for three weeks, and not allowed to leave the house except to go to school, but she could still call me. Though; I’m not sure if she wants to, due to our fight before this incident). My dad snapped his fingers in front of my face; “Focus, Laura!”

            “Sorry dad” I mumbled.

            “You should be; you could have really gotten hurt.”

            “I thought that the krav maga lessons were supposed to make it more difficult for people to hurt me.”

            “They were; but they were not meant to make it possible for you to lose it and start beating up someone so much that they lose consciousness!”

            I shake my head angrily; “Dad, she deserved it. She was going to do _stuff_ to Carmilla, I couldn’t let her do that!”

            “I know kiddo. But I still need to say something. You might be justified this time, but what about other times? I just don’t want you feeling like you can start hitting anyone you want because, in your head, it’s justified.”

            “Dad, you know I’m not like that. I just- I just saw what she was doing to Carm and lost it.”

            “I know you aren’t like that, hon.”

            We sat silently for the rest of the car ride. Dad parked the car in that drive way and started to get out; “dad?” I said quietly; he turned towards me; “I love you.” I leaned across the car and gave him a hug.

            “I love you too kiddo.”

            “And, dad? I’m sorry.”

            “I forgive you, but, I mean it when I say I don’t want to hear about you getting into fights at school.”

            “You got it pops.” I smiled into his shoulder.

            “Hmmm.”

            “What?”

            He pulled back; “You know, now that I think about it; that could happen to you.”

            “What could?” I asked in confusion.

            “Some girl could try to do something like that to you. I think I need to get you some day of the week bear spray for when you are going around town.”

            “Wait a second. Girls? How did you know?”

            “Laura, I’ve known since you were little and tried kissing Rose Tyler on that _Doctor Who_ show whenever she came onto the screen.”

            I blushed and laughed; “That obvious, huh?”

            He chuckled, “Yep, but;” he looked at me seriously; “it doesn’t change how much I love you, alright?”

            I hugged him tightly again, “Alright.” I smiled as I hugged my dad; I’m so glad I have him.


	15. Apologies and Spiderman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls make up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this is super cheesy; so don't judge me too much. I want to give a special thanks to cherrychapstick for being so sweet and funny and commenting all the time (I love you!). I also wanted to thank you all for reading, commenting, and kudosing (is that a thing? i'm not sure, but I just made it a verb), and, of course, reading my fic. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Oh; p.s. this chapter is a bit short.

Tink. Tink…Tink. I woke up to the soft sound of something lightly hitting my window. I groggily stumbled out of bed and looked out the glass. Looking out I saw light brown hair and a dorky smile; Laura. She was jumping up and down (most likely to get a view of inside my window, to see if I had woken up yet). I laughed softly as I quietly pulled open my bedroom window and poked my head out. “Ouch, Laura what the heck!” I whisper-yelled.

            “Oops! Sorry Carm, I didn’t realize you stuck your head out you window until the pebble left my hand.”

            “It’s okay, you throw like a girl; so I don’t have much to worry about.” I snarked. Rolling her eyes, Laura began hoisting herself up the tree next to my room. “Uhh, what are you doing cupcake?” I asked the struggling girl.

            “What’s it look like? I’m climbing up this tree so I can get into your room.” She grunted and pulled herself up a branch.

            “I can just go downstairs and unlock the front door, so you can get inside like a normal person.”

            “Nope.” She popped the P at the end of the word. “I need to do this because: first; it is cool. Second; it makes me feel like a badass. And finally, because I think everyone should do this at least once in their life.” By now she had climbed to the branch directly parallel to my window and was swinging herself back and forth in order to gain the momentum necessary to swing herself inside. “Now,” she pauses and swings backwards; “move it.”

            Against my better judgement; I moved away from the window and waited for my idiot best friend to jump through the space. With a little squeak; Laura jumped and landed right at the edge of the window. I surged forward to help her up; but she held up an unsteady hand. “Nope! I got this.” She groaned as she clamored over the sill. She landed lightly on the ground and stood up, beaming proudly; “Like spider man, I was just like spider man.”

            “Though I am impressed with you; your royal shortness; you need to quiet down unless you want to wake up my dad, and somehow I don’t think he will be as dazzled as I am.”

            She started whispering; “Oops, okay; but still; Spiderman!!!.”

            I laughed quietly and sat down on the edge of my bed; “So, cupcake, not that I’m complaining but, what are you doing here?”

            Laura’s smile died. _Shit, I said that wrong_ I thought bitterly. “Oh, um, I just wanted to see how you are doing. What Elle- what happened to you, it-it’s just; I don’t know, I just wanted to check on you. And, also, apologize for my behavior before- you know.”

            I sighed and stood up, “Laur, you don’t need to apologize; you were right about Elle- about everything.” I pulled her into a tight hug and continued speaking (cutting of her sentence); “Besides, it’s me who should apologize. I was really harsh with you and you were only trying to help.”

            Though her voice was muffled by my shoulder; I could still discern a; “Ugh, Carm, what are we doing?”

            “This is called hugging. It is an act meant to show affection. It also-“ I laughed quietly as Laura cut me off by shoving me lightly and muttering that I needed to shut up. And just like that; we were back to normal. We snuck out my window (that was, interesting, to say the least) and into my backyard; where we stargazed.

            After a while, I reached across the grass and grabbed Laura’s hand and intertwined our fingers. “Hey cupcake, are you awake?”

            With a slight yawn, Laura said; “Yeah Carm.”

            “I just wanted to tell you thank you, for, you know- saving me today.”

            She shifted on her side and faced me: “No matter how mad I was at you; I would _never_ leave you to that. I love you so much Carmilla, and I wish you picked someone who treated you how you deserve instead of that disgusting monster who tried to hurt you.” The ferocity in her eyes was blazing as she continued; “I love you so much Carm. I see so much good in you; I just wish you could see what I see.”

            “What could you possibly see that I can’t?” I asked quietly.

            “Oh, everything.” She smiled slightly; “If only you could see yourself through my eyes.”

            All I could do was pull her closer; she laid her head on my chest and we stayed there until dawn; before I snuck back inside and Laura want home.

            I passed out in my bed; so tired that I slept on top of the covers. I woke up later that day and noticed some texts from Laura: _Let me be your mirror and I will show you/ all the beautiful things you do/ the way you light up a room when you smile/ the way you make me miss you after just a little while/ the way you blow your bangs out of your face/ the way you make my thoughts race/ if you saw the way I see you;/ you would understand why I love you the way I do. Sleep well Carm <3_

           Tears of emotion streamed down my face as I read through Laura's series of texts. Of course that little geek would send me a poem through text. I thought lovingly. I typed out a response: _Thanks cutie, I really needed that. I love you too <3\. Sleep well cupcake. _I turned off my phone and fell backwards onto my bed: what a day.


	16. Good Job; You Got Suspeneded!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's suspension, and first day back to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so excited to share another chapter with you! Thank you all for sticking with me <3 I'm not sure how ya'll will feel about what Laura thinks in this chapter, but I think that she always thinks the best of people and wants the best for everyone; so please don't judge too much :) Oh; and there is talk of rape in this (due to the aftermath of last chapter) so if this is a trigger please skip this chapter and send a comment my way so I can give you a summary.
> 
> Also; if you guys are into sword art online, my friend Rhyslvr69 just wrote their first fanfic called The Temperature of the Heart. So...if you like that fandom; you should definitely check it out! :) 
> 
> Okay, and without further adieu; my latest chapter. Enjoy :)

I was suspended from school for beating up another student (apparently, even though that perv was touching Carm without her permission, I can still get in trouble for defending her. What has this world come to?). I had to miss four days of school and serve detention for three weeks (what a crock). I spent my four days off watching _Doctor Who_ , binging on _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ (oh Sarah Michelle Gellar; how you steal my heart), playing with Legos (what? I am actually quite the architect.), reading the _Harry Potter_ series (for the hundredth time), and I may or may not have been sneaking out whenever I could to visit Carm.

            We just hung out and spent time together (while she complained about having to “suffer all by herself at the idiot-infested cesspool that was school”). She won’t talk to me about what happened in that closet; but I’m definitely not going to force her to. I will be there for her, no matter what, and that is all I can do. Maybe I’m helping by just being there; I don’t know. All of this has just made me think of what happened with Danny. After seeing how messed up Carmilla is (though she does a pretty decent job of hiding it; I have known the girl for forever, so I notice), I feel even worse about how things went with Danny. I might have snuck out one night (my new bear spray of the week in hand; just in case), and went to Danny’s house.

            I knocked on the door, she opened it and her eyes widened as she regarded me; “Laura, wh-what are you doing here?”

            I shuffle my feet nervously; “Hey, um could I talk to you real quick?”

            “Oh, yeah of course, come in. Let’s just go to my room; it’s upstairs, second door on the right.”

            I sulked inside and made my way upstairs without incident (by that I mean running into any of the giants in her family). Danny followed me upstairs and closed her bedroom door behind her. “Sooo, what did you want to talk about?”

            “Well I wanted to apologize for how I treated you the other day; it was wrong of me to try to force you into something you weren’t ready to do.”

            Danny reached out and engulfed me in a hug; “It’s okay Laura, I understand. And, if you need to talk about anything; I’m always here.”

            “Thanks Danny, I really appreciate how understanding you are with this.”

            “Sooo… now that that is done with; would you mind telling me what the heck you did to Elle, because the entire school is talking about why you got suspended.”

            My eyes widened; “Ummm, the school is talking about what?! How the heck did they find out about- never mind what a stupid question.”

            Danny gestured impatiently, “Bro, you have to tell me what happened.”

            I sighed and sat on a chair by her desk; “Well after we, um, you know; I went to find Carm because we had a fight a bit earlier-”

            “Wait a second,” Danny’s eyes glinted humorously, “did you drag me into the bathroom because you had a fight with Drusilla?” (hehe, a _Buffy_ reference, there is a reason I like this girl).

            “Well, um, when you put it that way… yes.” I looked down apologetically.

            Danny burst out laughing; “Oh my gosh, I guess I will have to thank her for getting me some action; thought indirectly; hahaha!”

            I tilted my head to the side in confusion; “Wait, whaa?”

            Still chuckling Danny said; “I’m just messing with you Hollis. I probably should be more offended, but, meh.” She smiled easily (yep, there is definitely a reason I like this girl). “Anywayy; you were saying.” She gestured for me to continue my story.

            I shook my head to clear my (still) confused thoughts and resumed my tale; “Well she wasn’t in her class, so I was just wondering around the school looking for her, when I heard a noise in the janitor closet. So I opened it and found Elle-” I abruptly cut off my sentence as anger pulsed through me. Taking a deep breath I continued, “She was touching Carmilla, and Carm kept saying no.”

            Danny’s eyes hardened; “Oh, I see what she was doing. Please tell me someone beat the shit out of her.”

            “Actually, I did. What? Don’t look so surprised; I’ve been taking Krav Maga classes since kindergarten, of course I kicked her ass. I would have continued to do so, but Carm pulled me off of her and then a teacher found all of us, and I was suspended for violence or something, so…yeah.” I completed my narration and looked carefully at the surprised (and maybe slightly impressed?) redhead before me.

            She whistled and then said; “Whoa, Hollis, you are a lot tougher than I gave you credit for.”

            I blushed and looked down at the ground. I don’t know how to feel about being complimented for losing it and beating the hell out of someone (and her admitting that she thought of me as a weak damsel in distress, I hate it when people think that about me). Danny didn’t seem to notice how I felt as she crossed the room and pulled me out of the chair and into a standing position. “It’s actually kind of hot.” She leaned down and kissed me. My mind went blank in that special way it does when I kiss Danny, before it was interrupted with a random thought _Why doesn’t this feel right?_

            I cut off the kiss and started walking to the door; “Oh, I actually have to go. I will see you around Danny. I just wanted to say I was sorry, and whatnot. So… bye!” I rushed out the door and out of the house before she could respond. _What the heck was that about?_ I thought to myself as I practically ran back home.

(000)

            I, unlike Laura, was not suspended from school; meaning, that I had to suffer through four days in this hellhole without my best friend by my side. It also meant that I had to withstand the gawking stares from other students who thought they had an idea about what went on it that janitor’s closet (but, in all actuality, had no fucking clue). Muttering angrily as I walked from class to class; I just tried to mind my own business (unlike the lack wits at my school). My angry stream of thought was interrupted as a pair of feet clad in orange Keds stopping in front of me. “Well if it isn’t little miss tease.”

            I looked up at saw a bruised face framed with blonde hair; Elle. Emotions flooded through me faster than I could process; fear, annoyance, anger, hurt. _Shit, well this is going to be fun_. “Well, if it isn’t Silas’ very own rapist.” _Too far, Karnstein! Shit._

            Noticing the students (obviously) eavesdropping on our conversation, Elle put on a cocky attitude; “I know you wanted everything you got, princess, so don’t bother pretending it was any different.”

            I scoffed angrily; “Yeah right, if I wanted it you would not have a busted up face.”

            Narrowing her swollen eyes Elle replied; “If your crazy ass girlfriend hadn’t went all psycho on me, my face would be fine. It’s wrong to cheat; I thought you would know that. Guess not.”

            Fuming, I raised my fist; “Laura is not my girlfriend; she’s just someone who actually cares about other people. Unlike you, you twisted, disgusting, fucking whor-” the fist that was coming Elle’s way was stopped by firm hands.

            “Okayy, well this was fun but Carmilla has classes to get to; so seeya later.” Lafontaine pulled quickly at my hand and started walking towards our math class.

            “What the hell are you doing Gingersnap! I was just about to go all ninja on that bitch’s face.” I growled angrily.

            “I know,” they replied firmly, still yanking on my arm and pulling me away, “and though I can appreciate the urge to pound that freak’s face in; I just had to stop you. One of my friends is already suspended, and I didn’t need another one ending up the same way. Besides,” they turned to face me and said seriously; “she will get what is coming to her, trust me; people like that always get what is coming to them.”

            I sighed; “Somehow I don’t believe that. If people like that get what is coming to them; Elle would be suspended, better yet expelled or arrested, instead of Laura being punished for defending me.”

            “Well, sometimes, it takes time.” Laf said wearily as we continued our march to class.

            I groaned; “Well hopefully not too much; I don’t know how much longer I can handle being in the general vicinity of her.”

            “I know, me too.”

            _Oh how much I miss you cupcake, get unsuspended soon._ I thought sadly as I sat in my math classroom; the teacher droning on in the background.

(000)

            I was nervous to go back to school; especially since talking to Danny. Apparently rumors were still flying through the school, and I was not excited to deal with that. But like a good little soldier; I walked to school with my back straight and head high. With Carmilla by my side, I strode into the middle school; bracing myself for the worst. I wasn’t surprised when all the students in the hall stopped and stared at Carm and me; I was, however, shocked when they all started clapping.

            I leaned close to Carmilla and whispered; “Do you have any clue about why they are clapping?” she shook her head and we just continued to walk through the halls teeming with clapping tweens (what else were we supposed to do?).

            Danny ran up to us and said; “There’s our hero! If it isn’t the one and only Laura Hollis.”

            I looked confusedly at Carm, who just shrugged, before turning back to Danny and said; “Umm, what are you talking about?”

            “Well, last night Elle was caught trying to do what she did to Elvira, to this other girl. The cops got involved and she was arrested. She is being tried and hopefully sent to juvie for a while. We all have you to thank for kicking that freak’s butt.” Other kids close by cheered their confirmation. “Let’s hear it for Laura!” Danny yelled to the crowd. Students started cheering animatedly.

            I raised my voice to be heard over the crowd; “Excuse me, but this is not something to cheer about.” All the students quieted down and all eyes landed on me; “What Elle did was a horrible thing, and she should be punished for it. But, for you all to decide it is a good thing to cheer about me beating someone up, no matter how much they might have deserved it, makes me sick.” I glare at everyone (Danny especially; for advertising this). “We are all people. We all do things wrong. We lie, cheat, steal, and do horrible things. What Elle did is so wrong, but we should all be hoping that she learns from this and doesn’t try to do it again; not wishing pain on her.” The crowd was silent as I continued my angry rant; “None of this is something that should be advertised, nobody’s pain should ever be put up on display for others. How do you think all the victims of Elle feel right now?” I made eye contact with each student; “That is what I thought. Now get to your classes and for god’s sake stop cheering about something you know nothing about.”

            Danny’s head drooped in shame as she walked away. The other kids had already started talking; I just tried my best to drown out what they were saying as I walked to class.

            A soft hand stopped me, I turned and saw the hand belonged to Carmilla; “Hey.” She said gently.

            “Hey.” I said back. “How are you feeling about all this?” I questioned carefully.

            “I wish it was all over.” She said simply as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

            I leaned into her and said; “Yeah, me too. I can’t believe they did this. I mean, I can understand wanting Elle to hurt so much, like to burn in the deepest pits of hell hurt, but I really do just wish that she learns something from this, you know?”

            I looked to Carm as she shivered; “Yeah, I don’t wish what happened to me on anyone, and she hadn’t even gone as far as she could.”

            “Well, I guess all we can do is hope.”

            “Yeah, I guess.”

            I stopped walking and turned to Carmilla; “Carm,” her charcoal eyes locked with mine, “you are the strongest person I have ever met.” Cutting off her inevitable protest, I continued; “Carmilla Karnstein, don’t you dare argue with me. You are the strongest, most incredible person I have ever met, and I want to know this.” I grabbed her face with both my hands and leaned closer to her; “I love you Carm, you mean the world to me, and no matter what happens; I will always be here for you.”

            Blinking tears out of her eyes she whispered; “Oh Laur, you are my world, I will love you always, okay?” and pulled me into a tight hug.

            “You promise?” I asked.

            “I promise.” She said as she pulled back and started to walk our class (which, I just realized, we were late to; if the lack of anyone in the halls was any indicator). “Now, let’s go kick some butt in English.”

            I rolled my eyes and followed after her; “Whatever you say, nerd.”

            “Oh don’t start with that; I know you spent your entire suspension watching _Doctor Who_ and _Buffy."_

            “That just makes me a geek, we talked about this Carm.”

            She just smiled slyly at me and said; “Same difference.”

            I mock sighed and went to class. Maybe today won’t be so bad after all.


	17. Falling and Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang get in trouble on their first day of high school. Laura needs help with an assignment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my peeps! It's awesome to see (not really because we are all just staring at a computer screen, but you know what I mean) you all again!!! I am so pumped for y'all to read about the crazy kids' antics today. :) I hope you enjoy. nothing is mine (except any mistakes).

“Are you nervous about your first day of high school, Kitty?” William asked me when I walked downstairs.

            I shrugged as I searched the room; “Not really. Have you seen my leather jacket?”

            Will rolled his eyes; “Maybe by the door, along with your shoes and socks.”

            “Are you insinuating that I am messy, William?”

            “Oh, I would _never_ do that.” He said in a sarcastic tone.

            I rolled my eyes as I walked towards the front door; “Oh I’m _sure_.” I grabbed my jacket and converse and started towards the couch to sit down and put on my shoes; when the doorbell rang.

            “It appears that you midget friend is here.” William said as I turned back around and answered the door.

            Laura heard Will’s sentence and rolled her eyes; “It seems your idiot brother is here.”

            They glared at each other before bursting into laughter; “Hey shorty, how have you been?”

            Laura shrugged with a smile and gave my brother a hug (they had gotten closer after my surprise birthday, especially because Laura managed to get Mattie to come down; which we hadn’t been able to do since); “Meh, worse since I saw your ugly face.” She winked playfully at him and then went and gave me a hug.

            “Hey, Carm. Are you ready for an awesome first day?” she said excitedly.

            I shared a look with my brother and smiled slightly; “With you around; it will at least be tolerable.”

            “Aww thanks Carmilla.” She beamed and started picking up the various pairs of shoes I had sprawled all across the house. She sniffed one experimentally and started gagging; “Ohmygod, you really need to start spraying your shoes or something; these smell like something died in them. And seriously, how can you stand living in this disaster area?”

            I rolled my eyes playfully (this happened every time Laura spent any time at my house; I don’t think she particularly appreciates my messy and chaotic nature); “Cupcake, I couldn’t care less about where my shoes go.”       

            “Oh I’m sure you would care if you couldn’t find them.” Laura mumbled.

            William started snickering; “Actually, you’d never guess what happened right before your arrival.” I smacked him hard on the arm. “Ouch kitty!”

            Laura laughed at our bickering, and what my brother was insinuating. “Soo, I’m guessing a certain messy someone couldn’t find their shoes this morning?”

            “I have no idea what you are talking about, cupcake.” I deadpanned. Changing the subject as quickly as I could I said; “We better go if you don’t want to be late.”

            Laura smiled and looked at Will; “Noww she cares about being late; how convenient.”

            Will snickers and I smacked them both in the arm while scoffing my disagreement; “Psh, whatever.” The two just cackled harder while I grabbed Will’s car keys and shoved them into his hand.

            Still chuckling William said; “Well you heard Kitty; we mustn’t be late.” Laura laughed harder as we all filed out the front door.

(000)

            “Thanks for the ride, Will!” I called behind me to Carmilla’s brother.

            “Sure thing shorty. See you guys after school.” (He is our ride to and from school until Carm is old enough to get her license, she already has her permit; so it shall happen soon enough).

            Linking my arm through Carmilla’s I walked towards the large main office of Silas High School; home of the panthers. Students stared at us as we walked the pathway to the office. “Carm, why are they staring at us like creepers?” I whispered in my best friend’s ear.

            She shivered slightly (ticklish there?) before answering; “Oh I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because we are both gay. Nope, that can’t be it.” She held up a finger excitedly as if she just had an idea; “Ohhh, I know! It’s because a certain midget beat the shit out of a girl who ended up being a criminal.”

            Rolling my eyes I replied; “Don’t sass me Karnstein; they could also be staring because a certain gothy-looking punk tagged the middle school gym with phrases that revealed just how much one could loath PE and the teacher there.”

            “Psh, all speculation.”

            “Ohh, that’s why you were put in detention; because they had no proof you did it. Oh, wait;” I paused for dramatic effect, “I happen to recall someone reporting to the staff that a certain combat boot-wearing girl clad in leather everything was tagging the gymnasium.” Cutting off Carmilla’s snarky comeback (I assume it was snarky, but who knows, maybe she would have surprised me with something else. Hahaha, what a funny joke. Anyway;) “You’re right that is not enough proof.” I sighed dramatically; “Alas, we will never know who that vandal is.”

            “Oh, do you mean the hoodlum who spray-painted angry rants all over our middle school gymnasium? It was Carmilla; I thought you knew this Laura.” Perry said as she appeared (accompanied by Lafontaine) by our side.

            “She does know Per, she’s just kidding with her.” Laf said.

            Carmilla rolled her eyes, exasperated; “Well if it isn’t the ginger twins.”

            “Hey Laura.” Danny called as she walked towards us.

            “I stand corrected; it’s the ginger triplets.” Carmilla said to nobody.

            I nudged Carm’s side (to tell her to tone down the snarky comments), and said; “Hey guys! It’s great to see you! I can just tell that today will be such a great day. You kn-” My (awesome) pep talk was interrupted when a foot shot up out of nowhere and tripped me. Still holding Carm’s arm, I tumbled to the ground; dragging poor Carmilla with me.

            “Well if it isn’t the Scooby gang.” Said a tan angry looking girl.

            “Well if it isn’t Melanippe Callis. Oh, summer hasn’t seem to get rid of any of that pesky loserdom; how unfortunate” Danny said as menacingly as she could while trying to get in the mystery girl’s face (which is a bit hard if you are like two feet taller than them).

            “Psh, I kicked your butt in that top Girl Scout election in elementary school, I beat you out for middle school VP, and I am going to destroy you in the Junior Summer Society freshman representative elections; so you can shove it.” Said the angry girl who tripped me.

            Carmilla pulled herself, and me, up. Perry began dusting us off; but was halted my Carmilla after being shoved away. “Well I never-” Perry started indignantly.

            “Shut it Curly Sue.” Carmilla snarled as she stomped up to Melanippe. “And you; listen up, because I’m only going to say this once. You lay a hand on me or my friends: I. Will. Kill. You.” She emphasized each word with shoves that seemed to progress in strength.

            “Oh you want to go?” the other girl said as she squared up with Carmilla.

            I decided I better step in; “Stop the violence!” I pulled Carm away from the anger ball; who (I hadn’t noticed) was mid swing; her fist aiming for Carmilla. In pulling my friend out of the way; I inadvertently put myself right in the line of fire. A burst of pain bloomed on my face and I fell to the ground with a groan.

            “Ohmygod! Ididn’tmeantodothat!” said Melanippe (okay that name is so long, I’m shortening that to Mel. Yeah, that sounds good! Okay, back to me being in pain).

            “Cupcake! Are you alright!?” Carm leaned down to examine my battle wound (don’t judge my word choice, I was in a battle! Of sorts).

            At the same time Danny rushed to my other side and tried to get past Carmilla to see if I was hurt. Carm got pissed and started slapping Danny’s hand away angrily; snapping at her to “Get the fuck away.” Those two started arguing back and forth over me while I just sat on the ground dazed.

            Behind me I could hear Perry yelling frantically; “Lafontaine, there is no need for violence! Don’t hit that girl!”

            “She hit Laura, she deserves it. MOVE Perry!” they said as they tried to get past Perry to Mel (who was still babbling apologies and cowering slightly.

            I decided that (even though I was in pain and a bit dizzy), I needed to stop this before it went too far. Standing up on unsteady legs; I walked towards Laf and put a hand on their shoulder. “Lafontaine.” They turned to me; “Stop it.” They stopped struggling against Perry.

            I then turned back to Carm and Danny (who were still bickering) and started to pull them apart. _Well this is most definitely a very interesting first day_ I thought bitterly to myself.

(000)

            Let’s just say while the whole fiasco was going down with us in the quad; a crowd had formed around us. Out idiocy was put on display for groups of gawking students; awesome. Of course the group cheering “Pizza or death!” (I think?) drew the attention of a teacher. Who did not appreciate the havoc we created. So, once again (at least for Laf and me), we were sent to the principal’s office. Great.

            Laura’s cheek was swelling where that annoying imbecile punched her. I put my arm around her protectively as we trudged to the office with an angry teacher ranting behind us.

            The principal was (surprisingly) pretty lenient with our group; and only gave us detention for one week. We were also very lucky that he did not call all of our parents. So, after our group of five (and that annoying girl who hit Laura) was yelled at; we went to class. During the next passing period; even more people stared at us, and even started whispering. _This day keeps getting better and better_. Hopefully all this attention will dissipate soon.

(000)

            One week later; that unwanted attention did lessen a bit, and school became (fractionally) more enjoyable. On the bright(ish) side; Laura’s bruise is almost gone and that dipshit; Mel; has avoided our little group like the plague. So; yay us, or something.

            I sat on my bed reading _The Scarlet Letter_ for class when I heard the familiar sounds of Laura trying to climb the tree next to my room. I rolled my eyes and closed my book so that I could go open my window. Laura smiled widely as she landed in my room without incident. “Well hello stranger.”

            “Cupcake, you do know I have a perfectly good front door right downstairs, right?”

            Laura put her hands on her hips and puffed up her chest (to look like a superhero, I suppose), and said; “Oh silly citizen, superheroes have no need for front doors.” (told you).

            Trying to hold back a laugh, I sat on the window sill and asked; “So what brings you to this side of the tracks?”

            Laura gave up her superhero pose and plopped down on top of my unmade bed; “I actually need help with our reading assignment; _The Scarlet Letter_ , I don’t really get it.”

            “What’s not to get?” I questioned.

            She picks up the copy I left on my bed and starts flipping through it. “I just don’t get how this Hester chick could be judged so much. All she did was be with a guy that she loved and get pregnant. People do a lot more than that nowadays, and don’t get any flack for that; at least not like Hester.”

            “Well, back in these times; it would be just about as bad as, like, killing someone in our time.”

            Laura cocked her head to the side in confusion; “Isn’t that a bit harsh?”

            I laughed; “You think that is bad? The 17th century was filled with stuff even worse than that”

            “What do you mean?”

            I stood up and started walking slowly towards Laura; “I mean, that kids drank and danced like fools. Waltzing was fun. It had a resound…scandal back then.”

            “How is waltzing scandalous?”

            I held out my hand and Laura took it. I pulled her into a standing position and began explaining; “Well, partners were face to face,” I pulled Laura closer to me, “chest to chest. All of that uhm… whirling.” I said as I waltzed slowly with her, then stopped and intertwined our fingers; “Back in 1698 it may has well have been sex.” Laura shivered as she stared into my eyes.

            I thought, maybe, she was leaning forward fractionally (to kiss me?), but then she pulled back quickly and sat on the window sill. Clearing her throat she said; “How is that worse?”

            “Well in the _Scarlet Letter_ Hester is punished for having sex; and during that same time people were scandalized for dancing; which do you think is worse?” I shrugged.

            Laura nodded her head (I could practically see the gears turning), “Hmm I see. Well, thanks Carm! I’ll leave you too it.” She started to go out the window but stopped; “Wait, how did you learn how to dance like that?”

            “Mother made William and me take lessons.”

            “Ohh, well it’s really cool.”

            I smiled; “If you want, I can teach you how to waltz.”

            “I would love that.” Laura climbed back inside and took my hand.

            “Okay well you start by-” we spent the next three hours talking and waltzing. I’m pretty sure I could do this with Laura for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe I just had to add waltzing somewhere <3


	18. Confusion and Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura talks to Perry about who she likes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took me a couple of days to update; I just wanted to make sure my next chapter was as nice as I could make it for you <3 I hope you guys enjoy :)

Ever since dancing with Laura; things have been different. I don’t know if this is all my in my imagination; or what; but things have most definitely changed, in the subtlest of ways. I first noticed when we were reading on the couch.

            I was lounging on the couch with my legs draped over Laura’s lap as she watched (yet another) episode of _Doctor Who_. A slender finger began dragging patterns around my leg. “Whatcha doing cupcake?” I asked, never taking my eyes from my book.

            “Nothing, just bored.” She said as she continued drawing on my leg.

            “And this is entertaining?”

            “Well, no. But…”

            “But?” I prompted.

            She sat up abruptly and knocked my legs off her lap with her forcefulness. “Oops! Sorry Carm.” Laura said as she realized that she had toppled me off my perch on the couch.

            I glared at her playfully before smiling and muttering an “It’s okay, cupcake.” She still looked a bit upset. “Okay, creampuff, what’s bothering you?”

            “I’m- I- umm. I don’t know.” She stuttered. I opened my mouth to tell her she was full of shit (in the gentlest of ways, I promise) when she stood up and started towards the door. “I just remembered; I had a- ehrm- project to do with Perry. I’ll catch you later Carm!” My front door slammed shut before I could even reply. _Okay, what the hell was up with that?_

(000)

            “Ughh! I’m just so confused!” I whined as I fell back on Perry’s bad with a THUMP.

            “Oh, dear, I have complete faith in your ability to discern your feelings from one another.” The redhead said to me as she tidied up her room (for the fifteenth time since I’ve come in there).

            “Generally friends give advice on the subject; not tell them they have faith in them.”

            Perry sighed quietly then huffed; “Well, hon, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what the problem is. Or who this mystery girl is that you keep going back and forth about.”

            I looked at her apologetically; “Sorry Per.”

She nodded once in acceptance; “Now, will you please tell me what is ailing you.”

“Well there is this girl who, I’ve just kinda noticed, is, like, perfect. She knows me like the back of her hand, she’s funny, drop dead gorgeous, is so smart, is-” Perry cleared her throat. “Right, sorry; tangents. Anyway, it’s just like all of a sudden she’s all I can see.”

“I’m not quite sure where the confusion is coming from, dear.”

“Well, she’s my friend and I don’t want to risk messing up our relationship if she isn’t interested.”

“Oh, I see who you are talking about; it’s so obvious.”

“Good, wait; it is?”

“Well of course. I don’t see why you don’t just go out with Danny again it’s been years since that bathroom debacle.” Perry kept going on about Danny and me belonging together until I finally decided to interrupt her.

“I think I like Carmilla.”

Perry stopped talking then looked at me like I was crazy. “Well of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have been friends with her for as many years as you have.”

I said in a quiet voice; “You know what I mean Per. I think I like her as more than a friend. I think I like her snarky, smart, caring, talented self.”

Perry stood up started cleaning (again) while she was thinking. “When did these… feeling start?” she questioned while scrubbing viciously at a spot on her dresser.

I thought hard about how I was going to phrase this. “Well I guess I first noticed it when we were sitting on the couch.”

Perry stopped scrubbing and turned around to stare at me; “Sitting on the couch?” she prompted.

“Well, yeah. We weren’t even doing anything special. I was watching TV and she was reading; and all I could think about was doing things like this forever. Like I would be more than happy to spend the rest of my life with her.” I thought back to sitting on the couch with her. “I didn’t even notice that I was tracing my thoughts on her leg until she said something. And it was then when it really started to hit me; I like my best friend.” I zoned out, considering my words, until Perry politely cleared her throat; prompting my continuation of the story. “It hit me so hard, and so suddenly, that I jumped up and accidentally knocked her off the couch. And you know what she did?” Perry shook her head. “She smiled at me, and that’s when I knew I was a goner. I almost leaned forward and kissed her right there. But, instead, I ran out the door.”

“Well, I must say, Laura, you really seem to have it bad for Carmilla.

I groaned and layer back on Perry’s bed dramatically groaning; “Worst. Crush. Ever.”

(000)

            “Hey cupcake.” Carmilla said to me with a smile on her face.

_Ugh, why does she have to look even prettier when she smiles?_ I thought to myself as I walked into her bedroom and sat down on her desk chair. “Hiya Carm.” I smiled back at her.

“Why are you looking me like that?”

“Like what?” I stammered. “This is just my face. I wasn’t-”

“Calm down creampuff; I was just kidding with you. But, since you’re being weird, perhaps I should ask you what is wrong.” Her ~~gorgeous~~ eyes regarded me.

_Get a hold of yourself, Laura._ “No, there’s nothing wrong.” I stare into her eyes communicating my earnestness.

Carm’s ebony hair bobbed slightly as she shrugged. “Alright, I believe you.” She leaned back and propped her bare feet on her bedside table. “So, what did you want to do?”

I smiled like a maniac and mustered my best evil laugh while pulling a dvd case out of my backpack; “We are going to watch the newest ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’”.

“I love this dark side of you.” Carm jested as she stood up and plucked the movie from my hand.

I just laughed and followed her to her bed and waited for her to insert the cd into her laptop. When she finished she gestured for me to pick a side of the bed and sit. “So, what made you want to watch a scary movie?” she questioned as she snuggled up next to me and balanced the laptop on each one of our legs.

I shrugged; “I just wanted to try something new.”

“Well, I’m up for that.” She said as she pressed play.

Halfway through the movie I started to get a bit annoyed. “This isn’t even realistic! Why is the guy, with a mask screwing up his line of sight, and only walking, still catching up to the kids running away?! And don’t even get me started on how freaking stupid these idiots are!”

Carmilla chuckled next to me; “Well color me surprised.”

I stopped my rant and looked at her. “What? Tell me it doesn’t bother you that this isn’t realistic.”

“It does, it just surprises me than you would.”

“I’m not as surgery sweet as everyone likes to think.”

Carmilla looks at me intently; “Oh I know that.” _Is she leaning closer?_

“Good.” My head inches closer to her.

She shivered and pulled away slightly, turning back to the movie,

and cleared her throat. “Anyway, they make movies like this be-”

            “Carm” I interrupted her.

            She stopped talking and slowly turned back towards me, “Yes, cupcake?”

            I took a deep breath and rushed out; “Did you ever think that, like, maybe, we could be-be a couple?”

She just stared at me. “Laur-”

“Ohmygosh I shouldn’t have said that. Just forget that. I really don’t want to mess up our friendship it means so much to m-”

She cut off my rant “Laura.” Carm took my face into both of her hands. “If you had let me finish my sentence, you would have heard a yes.”

Delighted surprise filled my facial features; “Really?” she nods her confirmation. “Wow, I’m relieved I’m not the only one. Wait- when did you start thinking that? And-”

Carmilla cut me off once again as her lips met mine. _Her lips are so soft_ I thought dazedly before any conscious thought melted away. She pulled back a little, “Laura,” she pecked me, “shut” peck “up”.

I smiled into the kiss and (for a change) managed not to start babbling. I leaned closer and gripped her shirt lightly. Shifting to get into a more comfortable position seemed to be a bit problematic when I moved my leg a little to get closer; and the laptop toppled off the bed with a THUMP. Carm and I started and pulled back a little laughing slightly (at just how smooth I was) “That was, whoa.” I said softly, still dazed.

Carmilla laughed softly; “I agree with that.”

And we just sat there staring at each other smiling like idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I finally made them kiss! <3 :)


	19. Love Interests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang talks about potential love interests :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! I'm sorry it took me so long to update; I was spending the weekend at this women's empowerment camp (it was hella fun). This is a bit short, but I wanted to give you guys something. Hope you enjoy! :) <3

“Okay,” Laf said solemnly while putting their hands on top of the table, as if to emphasize their seriousness; “you are freaking me out. Why are you smiling like a maniac, like, nonstop?”

            _Crap I did not even realize I was smiling. Should I tell them? What does Laura want? We did_ not _talk about this._ “Uhmmm-”

            “Oh no you don’t,” they said, “no lies. Tell me. No- wait. If I guess it will you tell me?”

            I pondered it for a couple of seconds before shrugging and muttering; “Sure, gingersnap.”

They smiled deviously and rubbed their hands together. “Actually, I think I might regret this.”

            “Mwahaha! Too late now!” I rolled my eyes at their craziness. “Hmmm,” they stroked their chin thoughtfully, “is it a girl?”

            “That would be correct. Your powers of observation are _so_ impressive.” I said sardonically.

            They were undeterred by my jab and continued on; “Would this happen to be a certain midget who is obsessed with anything with sugar in it?” I stopped whatever rude retort I was about to throw at them, and just stared. “It is, isn’t it?” they laughed victoriously, “I knew it!” they fist pumped into the air.

            I sputtered; “How di- how did you know? I didn’t even say anything before this.”

            They stopped laughing and looked at me gravely; “You don’t need to say anything; it’s written all over your guys’ faces when you are around each other.”

            “Huh.” I muttered in thought.

            “What?” they questioned.

            I looked at them while I tried to think of how I wanted to articulate my words; “I guess it’s weird that you knew before I did. And- I don’t know- I guess on some level I knew before I consciously knew; you know?”

            “Though you’re line of thought was a bit tangled; yeah I do know.” They said.

            “Sooo,”

            “Yes?” they prompted.

            “When are you and Curly Sue going to get together?” I asked with sly smile.

            Laf turned red and started stuttering about how they and Perry were just friends. While I nodded hyperbolically. “Yeah, sure.” I said with a laugh as they continued to stammer that they were definitely _not_ into their best friend. Sounds a bit familiar.

(000)

            “What’s up little hottie?” Kirsch asked as he sidled up next to me.

            I sighed at the nickname but answered him with a smile; “Hi Kirsch. How are you?”

            “Pretty good.” He kept walking with me and hesitated slightly before; “Hey, are you and D-bear like…?” he brought both of his hands together. _Ohh, he means dating._

            I looked at him for a second, trying to discern why he wants to know, before answering slowly; “No… why do you ask?”

            He looked embarrassed; “Well I just was wondering because I’m thinking that, maybe, I’ll ask her out if she wasn’t dating anyone. “

            I beamed; “I think that is a great idea, Kirsch.”

            His lips curled into a smile; “You think she will say yes?”

            “I don’t know, but it couldn’t hurt to try.”

            “Sounds good. Catch you later little nerd hottie!” he said as he started walking towards his class.

            _I hope it works out; they would be a really cute couple_ I smiled at the thought.

(000)

            “Hey cutie.” I said as I swaggered up to Laura.

            Her smile was positively radiant as she looked at me; “Hey Carm; what’s up?”

            “Well,” I said as I walked next to her, “I wanted to take you on a real date.” I smiled shyly.

            Laura pretended to think carefully about it; “What would this ‘real date’ entail?”

            “That is for me to know and for you to find out.” I said with a smirk (I loved the fact that this would drive her crazy). “I’ll pick you up at seven tonight.” (I just got my license and managed to talk William into letting me borrow his car).

            “Well, could you at least tell me what I should wear?” she asked with a small smile.

            I smirked; “Whatever you want to, creampuff.”

            She huffed exaggeratedly and walked away; I didn’t miss the small smile playing on her lips before her face disappeared from my line of sight.

(000)

            I rummaged through my closet and sighed deeply. _There is nothing to wear_. I thought as I dramatically flung all the clothing behind me; creating a small pile. _Well it would help if she at least hinted at where we were going_. I finally gave up searching my closet for something suitable to wear and flung myself on the bed. Pulling my phone out of my back pocket; I decided to text Carmilla.

**To Carm:** Please at least give me a general idea of what to wear

**From Carm:** Haha are you having difficulty picking out clothing cutie?

**To Carm:** …Maybe

**From Carm** : Just wear something comfortable

**To Carm:** Should it be sorta fancy?

**From Carm:** *sigh* why are you making this difficult cutie?

**To Carm:** Answer me woman!

**From Carm:** Just wear something nice and comfortable. See you at 7 cutie

            That was not helpful; so I decided to call Perry.

_Hello_ Perry’s ever-polite tone droned into the phone from the other line.

_Hey Per, would you mind helping me with something?_ I asked.

_Sure thing, hon. What do you need?_

_Well, Carm asked me out and I don’t know what to wear._

_Hold on a second, Carmilla- Carmilla Karnstein asked you out on a date?_

_No need to sound so surprised, gees Perry_ I huffed into the phone.

_That’s not what I meant, dear, I just meant that I wasn’t sure you guys would ever own up to your feelings about each other._

_How is it that everybody knew about these feelings before us?_ I questioned as I continued to sort through my clothing.

_Oh, Laura, it’s because you guys are the epitome of oblivious. I mean that in the nicest way possible._

I groaned exasperatedly; _Okay, okay; we are oblivious. Sooo, will you help me pick out clothes? Pleaseeeee?_

Perry laughed on the line before replying; _Of course I will. Now let me think… Oh! I know!_

_What? Tell me!_

_Calm down, Laura._ Perry said in her most diplomatic tone. _You could wear that flowy white dress that hangs off of one shoulder._

_Oooh, that is perfect! ThanksPertalktoyoulaterbye!_

_Tell me how it goes!_ Perry rushed into the phone before I cut off the call and frantically searched through my clothing pile for the needed article of clothing.

I had just finished my makeup and was checking the finishing touches on everything when the doorbell rang. I rushed downstairs (tripped on the second to last step; but recovered before I landed on my face) and flung open the door. Carmilla stood there with her signature smirk; wearing leather pants and a corset that showed sliver of her stomach. I stared at her (pretty sure I didn’t drool, but I was definitely close). _Whoa._

“Well don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice.” The brunette said as she regarded me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will describe the date next chapter :)


	20. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids' first date <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this :) Thank you so much for continuing to read it <3 Love you guys

“Well don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice.” Said Carmilla as she looked me up and down with a small smile on her face.

I blushed and started out the door. “Wait,” she plucked my purse off my shoulder, “you won’t be needing this; everything is already taken care of.” I started to argue, but she cut me off; “Tsk tsk, none of that now.” She took my hand and led me down the front porch steps to her brother’s waiting car.

“Is your brother driving us?” I slowed down as I asked the question, looking around for him.

Carmilla swaggered to the passenger side and held the door open, gesturing for me to step in; “Nope, it’s just you and me, cupcake.” I looked at her questioningly as I stood in front of the open door on the passenger side. She sighed; “I got my license a couple of days ago and wanted to surprise you.” She shrugged; trying to play off how freaking cute she is.

I beamed and kissed her on the cheek (her pale skin pinked slightly). “That’s really sweet, Carm.”

She shuffled and replied; “Are you going to get in or what?”

I smiled and stepped into the car. Carmilla gently closed the door behind me, strode to the driver’s side and got in. While she was starting the car she said; “Don’t even bother asking any questions; you will get nothing from me.”

A sudden feeling of bravery rushed through me as I leaned close to her ear and said lowly; “Oh I bet I could make you talk.” Carmilla shuttered and started the car; her blush was answer enough for me. I smirked at her reaction; but did refrain from asking any questions the whole car ride.

            We finally stopped at the Cheesecake factory. Carm stepped out and opened my door again; a shy smile playing on her lips. “Thank you.” I said as she helped me out of the car. (How freaking cute can this girl be?!). She nodded in response and led the way inside the restaurant (holding the door open for me again). We were seated and ordered our food. I’m not sure why, but it felt slightly awkward. We seemed to only be able to be capable of small talk and staring at one another shyly when the other is not looking.

            Finally, Carmilla broke through our haze of awkwardness; (In a rare moment of honesty devoid of any form of sarcasm); “Okay,” she sets her hands on the table beside my own, “I get this seems really weird.” I nod in agreement, “But… I really like you, and I want to make this work.” Her whiskey colored eyes shine with a bright intensity.

            I grab one of her hands and interlace our fingers, “Then let’s make it work.”

            We spent dinner laughing and talking, like nothing different was happening, though, underneath the table our feet kept brushing against each other.

“Thanks Carm, this has been so fun.” I said as I skipped to the car.

            “It’s not over yet cutie.” Carmilla said as she swaggered up to me and grabbed my hand without hesitation.

I smile and squeeze her hand; “Sooo, where are we going?” I asked.

“What did I say about questions, cupcake?” the brunette said with a smirk.

I leaned closer to her and whispered; “What did I say about making you talk?” her breath hitched and she stopped walking, pulling me to a stop as well.

She pulled me close to her and kissed me, she kissed me until the world spun around me and all my senses were enveloped by her. Pulling back with a slight sigh she said; “What were you saying cutie?” her pupils were blown wide as she smirked slightly at me (who was just trying not to drool).

“Huh, shmashma” I muttered unintelligibly.

Carm chuckled softly and began to lead me towards wherever she was going. By the time I had finally composed myself, we had arrived at the movies. “Tickets for two to Rebel Mannequins, please.” Carmilla said to the person behind the window. I looked at her questioningly but she ignored the look and bought the tickets and proceeded inside with me beside her.

           “Carm, what are we watching?” I whispered halfway through the movie.

            She laughed softly and said; “The most horrifyingly cheesy movie I could find.” I looked at her with a raised brow. She shrugged nonchalantly; “I know you like making fun of movies.”

            “Psh, no I don’t.”

            Carmilla smiled challengingly; “Yes you do. Every time we watch movies you make fun of either the plot, characters, or both.”

I thought about it. “Huh, I guess I do. I never noticed.”

Carmilla shrugged and interlaced our fingers. We kept holding hands and making fun of the movie the entire time. Sometime during the movie, we kept laughing and talking too loudly; which got us kicked out of the theater. Normally I would have been indignant and would have scolded Carm for being so loud (and hilarious), but I was having so much fun; it didn’t even bother me. We left the theater doubled over laughing at not only the ridiculousness of the movie, but also how red the usher’s face got as he escorted us out. (Carmilla may or may not have insulted their intelligence as we were led outside).

Still sniggering; we walked down the street towards an ice cream shop. “You want some?” Carm asked as she opened the door; already anticipating my answer.

“Of course I do.” My smile widened as I walked inside and beheld all the amazing colors and flavors of ice cream. Carmilla chuckled behind me as she heard my excited squeak. “I don’t know what to get!”

“Whatever you want, creampuff.” Carm said as she eyed a triple chocolate type.

I decided on the chocolate cookie dough with a chocolate drizzle, and Carmilla (unsurprisingly) ordered the triple chocolate. We devoured our delicious sugary treats and walked to the park. “There is one more thing I wanted to do before we go home.” Carm said as we passed by a street lamp. “I wanted to look at the stars with you.” She sat down on a patch of grass that was free of lamp light and trees that would block the sky.

I plopped down beside her, and then laid down. She laid back as well and I snuggled my head on her shoulder and gazed at the stars. “This has been the most amazing night, Carm.” I whispered over the chirping crickets.

When she didn’t reply; I moved my head a little to face her and saw her chocolate eyes staring intently at me. She leaned forward a little bit and captured my lips with her own. “Me too, Laura, me too.”

After star gazing, we walked back to the car and drove back to my house. Carm opened the car door and helped me out again, then proceeded to walk me to my front door. “You could stay you know.” I said, not wanting her to go and this night to end.

She smiled warmly; “I know.” She leaned down slightly and kissed me one last time. Her soft lips exploring my own. I closed my eyes and leaned closer, deepening it. When breathing was not optional, we pulled back breathing heavily. Carm kissed my hand and turned away calling over her shoulder; “Goodnight, cutie.”

I smiled goofily and watched her pull out of my driveway and take off. _Best. Night. Ever._


	21. Surprise Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a surprise after Laura and Carmilla's date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey creampuffs!!!! I missed you guys. Alright, this was torture to write, but I finally finished this chapter! I hope you enjoy this (and don't hate me too much). I love you guys!!!! All mistakes are my own. Oh, by the way, there is a lot of time jumping around. This chapter ends on both girls' senior year. If you have any questions send a comment my way <3

            DING DONG! I padded downstairs and opened the front door; my head still fuzzy from sleep. Lafontaine burst past me, and sat down on my couch while babbling questions about how the date went last night. I sighed and closed the door

            “Don’t you think it is a bit early for incessant nagging?” I muttered as I headed into the kitchen (completely ignoring Laf) and grabbed a mug of coffee. Lafontaine followed me into the kitchen still interrogating me, while I just loudly slurped my drink, hoping they would get the hint and shut up.

            “C’mon Carmilla, just give me something.” They whined as they searched my cabinets until they found a mug and then proceeded to fill said mug with coffee.

            “Help yourself.” I mumbled, annoyed, into my cup.

            They smiled cheekily and stared at me expectantly; waiting for some information about last night. I sighed loudly and plopped down on a chair in front of the island. “Fine, it was great, gingersnap. Satisfied?”

            They scoffed. “Nope, not even close. Continue.”

            _Well I might as well_ I thought with an internal sigh (though I was secretly glad I could tell anyone someone about the amazing night I spent with my cupcake). “We went to the cheesecake factory-”

            “Nope. Tell me what she looked like, then tell me what happened.” They demanded excitedly, “I need details, woman!”

            I quirked an annoyed brow and they toned down the enthusiasm and waited patiently for me to continue. “She was…” I thought a second, picturing her again in my mind, with her flowing white dress, “beautiful.” I smiled slightly until I realized what a cheesball I looked like.

            “Good start.” They said with a sly smile (they must have caught my dorky expression).

            I sighed (I guess that was not enough to appease my mad scientist friend). “Well we got dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, watched an awful movie and got kicked out of the theater,” I laughed as I pictured Laura’s horrified yet amused face as we were escorted out, “then we got ice cream and gazed at the stars.” I looked off into the distance as I relived that amazing night (yep, I am officially a ridiculous, sentimental sap).

            “Okay, you are totally whipped.” Laf said with a smirk.

            I rolled my eyes, “Oh please. Are we not even going to address the fact that you are practically drooling whenever Curly Sue walks by?” They turn a bright shade of pink. “And don’t even get me started on when you volunteered to help her with her German homework when you didn’t know a single word in that language.” I smiled when they turned even redder all thoughts of me being (or not being) whipped gone from their head.

(000)

            “We need to talk.” My dad said as he sat on the couch.

            _Uh oh_. I thought freaking out on the inside (not that I know what I did exactly).

            Dad shifts uncomfortably on the couch; “Laura, I don’t know how to say this.” He runs his hands through his hair. I stared at the strands sticking up and curling in random directions. “I got a new job.”

            I breathed a sigh of relief (I thought I was going to get into trouble for something). “That’s great, dad. I’m really proud of you.” I smiled and started to get up so that I could hug him.

            He held up a hand. “Before you congratulate me, there is something you should know about this job.” I halted my trek across the living room, “The job is in San Diego.”

            “It’s where!?” I screeched. “When the heck did this happen? Why would you take a job all the way across the country? My ENTIRE life is here! I have never lived anywhere else. Carmilla is here! All my friends are here. What-”

            My father cut off my angry rant with a raised voice, “Laura, calm down! We were going to lose our house, alright.” I looked at him in disbelief, my face flushed with anger. “I lost my job at the hospital, and haven’t been able to find another one in town. I was offered this job in California and there is huge potential for me to move up the ranks.” He looked at me apologetically, “I already accepted, Laur.”

            He engulfed me in a hug as tears dripped down my face. “Dad, my whole life.” I shoved my face into his shoulder and continued to sob. “I went on my first date last night.”

            Dad pulled back and looked at me with that protective stance that he wears so well; “Oh, and who is the lucky girl?” he said in a careful tone.

            I sniffled, “Carmilla.” My voice broke when I uttered that one word. “I-I know this might be way too soon, and stupid, and childish; but I think I love her.” My dad looked at me with understanding and sympathy. “Is there any way we could stay? I don’t think I can leave her, please daddy.”

            “I’m sorry, if there was a way, I would make it so we could stay. We just can’t.” I cried harder at that and he just held me.

(000)

            I drove to Laura’s with a huge smile on my face. My heart fluttered as I trudged up her porch steps and knocked on her front door. I could feel my eyes light up as she opened the door; she’s so beautiful. I grinned cheekily at her as I grabbed her around the waist and kissed her gently. It was so wonderful, I don’t think I could ever get enough of this. Her lips were so soft and she tasted like waffles and kind of salty-wait salty? I pulled back and saw tears tracking down her face and red rimmed eyes. “Cupcake, why are you crying?”

            I pulled her into my arms as she just shook her head and cried. She finally settled down enough to talk. “Carm, there is something I need to tell you.”

            “What’s wrong sweetheart?” I wiped a tear from her face.

            “My-my dad said that I have to move.”

My heart sunk, I don’t think she means move just down the street. “Where exactly are you moving to?”

She cried harder as she mumbled a broken “California.”

            An intense numbness stabbed through me as I held Laura close to me. We stood there clinging to each other like we were the only thing in the world keeping each other grounded. Because we were, Laura is the only thing that brings me close to this world. The only thing that brings out the light in me. She’s the reason I smile, the reason I laugh, the reason I want to get up in the mornings. She’s my strength, my rock, my everything. And she’s leaving me.

(000)

            “Hello, Earth to Elvira.” Danny said as she waved her hand in front of my face.

            “What do you want Giantess?” I snapped as I shoved her hand away roughly.

            “No need to be a bitch.” Snarled Danny before she said in a softer voice. “We all miss her.”

            She didn’t even say her name and I still felt the sharp sting of pain in my chest. “How special. I don’t remember asking about how you felt about anything, now did I Zena?” I snarled as I angrily reached into my bag and pulled out a book.

            Danny scoffed, turned around in her seat, and started talking to her puppy dog (who she is apparently dating, ew). _Good, maybe she will finally get the hint and leave me the hell alone_. I thought bitterly as I flipped through my book. My phone buzzed in my pocket, interrupting my chain of thought. I didn’t even bother to look who it was from: Laura. My heart broke every time I saw her name flash on my phone. There is only so much abuse that fist-sized muscle can take before the scar tissue makes it impossible to beat anymore.

            And so my phone sat, uselessly buzzing against my legs for months. I missed my best friend deeply. But I was weak, so weak, and I knew that if I heard her voice I would shatter into a million pieces, and there would be no coming back from that. I agonized through the remaining three years of high school. Without Laura to balance me out, I spiraled further into isolation.

            The only person I could tolerate being around was Lafontaine; though they became almost insufferable when they began dating Curly Sue. But (though I won’t admit this to anyone if I am asked) I really cared for Laf; so much so that they were the only person I really spoke to (outside of my annoying imbecile of a brother).

            I became really focused on school work and managed to get a 4.3 GPA. I had exactly no social life to distract me from the agony that the empty space in my chest brought on. Sometimes, though it was essentially torture for me, I would lay out a blanket and look at the stars, wondering if the person I loved most in the world was looking at them as well.

(000)

I stopped calling Carmilla after 237 days of no reply. I stopped crying over her, well, never. I am one month away from graduation and here I am lying on my bed, sobbing into my pillow, all because I still miss a friend who seems to have forgotten about me the second I left for California. Suddenly overcome with the urge to do something, I stood up and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. I quietly snuck through my open window onto the roof below. I laid down on top of my blanket under the stars and stared at those balls of light billions of lightyears away, and got lost in thought.

_“Hey, I’m Elsie. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Said this cute blonde as she held out her hand to shake my own._

No Laura, you cannot be noticing how cute people are right after leaving your best friend/maybe girlfriend behind. _I thought sternly to myself as I shook Elsie’s hand; “Hi, I’m Laura.”_

_“Pretty name.” she said with a smile. Before I could reply, the bell rang, and she jogged away promising to find me at lunch so we could talk later._

Elsie and I became really close friends. I told her everything, and she did the same with me. Though it didn’t feel the same with her as it did with Carmilla, I was so grateful and happy to have a best friend again; though nobody could ever take the place in my heart that (to this day) Carmilla has. The summer before junior year Elsie asked me out and I said yes. We have been dating ever since she is the ~~second~~ first girl I have ever loved.

“Are you still thinking about going to that college in Austria? What was it again?” Elsie asked as she draped herself across my bed, looking at brochures for college.

“Ironically enough, it’s called Silas University, which is actually the name of the town I am from. But they actually have no relation to each other. Though, my home town could actually be named after the Silas in Romania. That is a very interesting thought, I should look that up.” I reach for my laptop and Elsie laughed as she nudged it further away from me. “What is that for?” I asked with a small smile.

She laughed and swished her honey hair over her shoulder before she leaned in to kiss me lightly. I sighed softly and leaned closer, deepening the kiss. This is nice.

(000)

            Laf sat on my couch scrolling through all the different college options available. “Dude I’m telling you, this one in Styria sounds super awesome.”

            I blow my bangs out of my face; “I know, that is why I put it on the list of colleges I want to attend.”

            “No need to sass me Karnstein.” They said with a playful huff.

            I rolled my eyes and continued reading my book _The Complete Compilation of Robert Frost’s Poetry._

            “Dang, this university has an awesome science program.” They said a little while later.

            “Apply for it then, Gingersnap.” I turned the page.

            “Only if you do.”

            “Already did; they have a respectable philosophy program.” I ignored their look of incredulity and continued to flip through my book. “Wipe that look off your face before it gets stuck.”

            They huffed and started typing on their laptop.

            “What are you doing?”

            “Starting an application for Silas University in Styria.” They said as they typed furiously with their tongue poking out of their mouth. I continued reading, trying to hide the fact that I was glad that I might have one friend if I get into that college. “Besides, I know you couldn’t survive without my mad science skills all the way in Austria.”

            I my lips turned up into a small smile; “Shut of Laf.”

            They smiled back crookedly; “Naw.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. Love shall (eventually) prevail.


	22. An Unwanted Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angsty sadness. An obscene amount of pining on Laura's and Carmilla's part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear sweet readers! I missed you all. I give you another chapter. It seems sad right now, but Hollstein is endgame! I hope ya'll enjoy! All mistakes are my own. Also, don't forget you are always welcome to send any comments, critiques or questions my way.
> 
> Thanks to my beta Rhyslvr69 :)

I sat in the car next to my girlfriend. She caught me looking at her and smiled brightly, her pale eyes shining. We were driving to our high school graduation; it’s finally over! Elsie reached forward to fiddle with the radio and flipped through the stations until she landed on “Paris” by the Chainsmokers. “Oooh, I love this song!” she squealed. _“We were staying in Paris/to get away from your parents”_ she sang along.

            My vision flashed to Carmilla and me sitting on my bed that night when she told me about her mom.

            _“_ _I don't know if it's fair but I thought “How/could I let you fall by yourself/while I'm wasted with someone else”_ Elsie continued singing along to the song while dancing in her seat swishing her blonde hair back and forth.

            I left Carmilla behind; I realized with sorrow. This big, important day is a day I always thought I would spend with her; and now here I am with a Carmilla shaped hole in my heart driving towards a new beginning for my life. Granted, she left me behind too. I tried to keep in touch but she didn’t let me.

            “ _If we go down then we go down together/they'll say you could do anything/they'll say that I was clever”_ my girlfriend sang into her fist, like it was a microphone.

            All I could see was what this day would have been like if I had not left. _Carmilla driving us to the Silas High School graduation. She would be sitting there with pretend indifference while I gushed about how excited I was about graduation. This song would come on and I would belt it. The corners of her lips would turn up into a tentative smile before she too bursts into song. We’ll spend the drive there belting songs and ever so slowly Carmilla comes out of her seemingly apathetic shell. I can see her walking across the stage glowing with her accomplishment. I can see her look of pride as she watches me walk across the stage and accept my diploma._

            “Are you okay? You haven’t talked, like, the entire car ride.” Elsie said, effectively pulling me from the confusing stream of images floating through my head.

            “What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” She looked at me skeptically but didn’t say anything; she just took my hand in her own. I fought down the sinking feeling in my chest; this was supposed to be a good day, it is my graduation after all.

(000)

            “Carmilla Karnstein.” Droned my principal. I walked across the stage and accepted my diploma while shaking the hands of various staff members. I heard my father, brother, and Lafontaine cheering my name loudly. I attempted to keep the smile off my face, but a small upward curl of the lips managed to break through. I turned to face the crowd and caught the flash of my father’s camera. This is it; the moment that I have waited for these last twelve years: my graduation. Why does this not feel as good as I imagined it? _No, don’t think about her; not today._ I thought frantically as I continued my journey across the stage and sat in my seat. It was too late.

            Images bombarded my thoughts: _Laura in her maroon graduation robes with the cap lopsided on her head. Me adjusting it with a small smile on her face, and then leaning down to kiss her gently. “Good job, Cupcake” I would whisper as I pulled away. Laura walking across the stage and turning to me with the biggest smile on her face. Me walking across the stage with her jumping up and down and cheering the loudest. Us getting pictures together._ Why why why? Why does this keep happening? Why does she keep popping into every single moment of my life? Why can’t I just let her go? Why does she have this grip on me?

            After everyone has received their diplomas, I sprinted to the bathroom and slammed the stall door shut behind me. I breathed in deeply before bursting into tears. How could she break my heart when she wasn’t even here?

(000)

            I finally finished packing my things. Boxes littered the floor of my bedroom. I let out a breath of relief. Tomorrow dad and Elsie would help me move my boxes to the post office, so that they might be mailed to Silas University in Austria. Then, after we moved all my boxes, we would move Elsie’s to the post office as well.

            We both decided to go to Silas. I am going to major in journalism, and Elsie is going to major in history; she wants to be an archivist. I am so excited! I think this will finally give me a chance to let everything in my past ~~Carmilla~~ go. I am planning on really finding myself.

            I start a little when a pair of soft hands slide onto my waist. “Hey beautiful.” Elsie whispers into my ear. I shivered and turned around to kiss her lightly. She smiled and we continued kissing, it grew more and more heated until we were interrupted with a knock on the door.

            “Laura have you seen the new bear spray of the week package- oh!” my dad opened the door to find Elsie and me trying to recover from our innocent kiss turned to a make out session. “Girls, do I need to enforce an open door policy until you leave?”

            Still recuperating, I stuttered, “Uh, no dad. T-that’s not necessary.”

            My dad grimaced knowingly while Elsie and I exchanged somewhat guilty looks. “Well, I’m going to go find that bear spray. I can’t let to you go to college all the way in Austria without your day of the week bear spray.” He slowly backed out of the room.

            Once I was sure he was gone, I closed the door. Turning around I was met with soft lips. Elsie kissed me slowly with a small smile on her face. “At least he didn’t catch us doing anything else.” She said lowly.

            I laughed uncomfortably at the thought of my dad walking in on Elsie and me getting hot and heavy. “Eww, why did you have to give me that mental image while kissing me?” Elsie laughed heartily. “C’mon, let’s finish packing everything. Ooh, look I found the bear spray!” I held it up triumphantly while my girlfriend chuckled into the box she was packing.

(000)

            “Laf, you do _not_ need all of these damn beakers.” I said exasperatedly to my flame-haired friend.

            “Yes I do!” they exclaimed. “They are all different sizes and each size is used for a different things.”

            I scoffed as I examined the beakers. “They look exactly the same size.”

            They blatantly ignored me and changed the subject. “Are you excited for the fact that we are going to school in freaking Austria?!”

            “I’m excited for the hot Austrian chicks in dorm rooms.” I drawled.

            Laf chokes on the grape soda they were drinking and sputters; “Whoa bro, TMI. And you do know Silas accepts a lot of foreign students, right?”

            I prop my feet up on a table and blow up my bangs. “Psh, as long as I’m getting laid, I don’t care.”

            Lafontaine sighed wearily. “That’s the spirit.”

(000)

            “Hello, Carmilla is it?” said this cute brunette as she scanned the clipboard in her hands.

            “Sure is cutie.” I said with a flirtatious smirk.

            The girl’s cheeks picked slightly and she quickly looked down to scan her list again. “You are in room 1698.”

            I swaggered up to her and leaned in closer before whispering: “You should come by sometime.” I booped her nose with my index finger before walking away. The girl sputtered awkwardly and fumbled with her clipboard. I smiled. _Adorable_.

            When I reached my assigned room I opened the door and found my stuff already in there, along with someone else’s. When I finished setting up my side of the room, I decided to snoop through some of my roommate’s stuff (what, I like to know who I’m going to spend so much time with). I got bored after two minutes and decided to read one of my new books (a collection of Emily Dickinson poems), but not before grabbing a super comfy looking yellow pillow from my roommate’s bed. It smelled delicious. Okay that was creepy, stop smelling random people’s pillows.

            I was flipping languidly through my book when I heard the door open. I didn’t bother to look at whomever came in. “Oh, hi. You must be my roommate.” Said an adorable voice.

            “Must I be.” I drawled. She huffed and her bed creamed slightly as she sat down on it. I decided to sneak a glance at the owner of the adorable voice and did a double take. “Laura?!?” I said, surprised, as I regarded her.

            “Ohmygosh Carm! What are you doing here!?” I was about to reply but she decided to keep talking. “No. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know how you are, what you are doing here, or anything about me. I most definitely don’t want to be your roommate. I don’t want anything to do with you. You left me! I tried to call you ever day for almost a year, and you never said anything!”

            I sat up and slammed my book closed. “If anyone left, it was you!” I snarled. “You left me alone a week after we started dating. You left me broken and alone!”

            Laura stood up indignantly. “If anyone has a right to say they were broken it was me! I was the one moving to a new state, knowing nobody there!”

            I stood up as well, and stepped closer to her lowering my voice. “You were my everything, the light in my world, my best friend. And you left me. My word shattered to pieces. It took me so long to pick up the splinters of my heart and try to tape them together. I have a right to be hurt, you ripped out my heart and took it with you to California.” Tears welded up in my eyes and I willed them not to fall.

            “You left me too, you know.” She said quietly with tears in her eyes that mirrored my own.

            A knock interrupted the moment. I sighed, stomped over to the door and yanked it open. “Listen, if I have to suffer through another ‘welcome to Silas University’ speech, I will resort to violence.”

            A blonde girl shuffled her feet and said in a somewhat timid voice, “Uh, don’t worry; I’m not part of the welcoming committee. I’m actually looking for Laura Hollis; I’m pretty sure this is her room.”             I looked back at my new ‘roomie’ with a queried brow. “And you are?”

            Blondie looked past me into the room while saying slowly, “Umm Elsie; her girlfriend.”

            I did a double take and looked between both girls, a scowl growing on my face. Laura nodded a small confirmation and my face went a careful blank. “Well I will leave you two love birds to it. Try to avoid having sex on my bed, I have no desire to go through the effort of burning my sheets.” I walked out of the room and didn’t look back, even when I heard Laura’s tentative “Carm wait.”

            I kept walking until I was in the middle of a park. It was dark out and all the stars gleamed brightly above me. “Stupid pathetic sap.” I muttered angrily at myself as I sat down onto the grass.

            “Uhh, hi.” I started at the sudden voice and smiled when I saw the girl from earlier. “I don’t know if you remember me-”

            “Oh, I do.” I said in a seductive tone. “What can I do for you.”

            “Umm, I j-just saw you and wanted to say hi.”

            “Oh, is that all you wanted to do?” I questioned as I slowly moved closer to her.

            She licked her lips before staring at my own. “Uhh, that’s all I can think of doing.”

            “Oh, I’m thinking of a lot of things we could be doing.” I said lowly as I leaned forward; a feeling of dark triumph flitting through me as I noticed she too was leaning forward.

            She didn’t bother responding, she just grabbed my shirt and yanked me towards her. I smiled and got lost in her lips. This was the perfect distraction from ~~Laura~~. Her name made me pull them other girl closer, hoping the feeling of her against me would make thought of Laura disappear. I was disappointed that it didn’t, but that didn’t stop me from trying. I kissed that girl under the stars as thoughts of the only girl I have ever loved drowned me.


	23. Hope for the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random interactions between the peeps at the college. Laura has hope for her and Carm's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! Here is another chapter (it is definitely on the less depressing side) though it is not complete fluff. I love you all for still reading this and commenting. On that note I would like to thank the AO3 Me for spamming my inbox with comments; you are hilarious. Alrighty, on with the story :)

I didn’t come back to my dorm room until one in the morning. I unlocked the door and checked to see if Lara was sleeping. When I saw that she was; I slipped inside, stripped off my clothes and crawled under the covers, smiling slightly when I noticed that Laura’s yellow pillow was still on my bed. I fell asleep inhaling the scent of the person that I have missed most over the past four years. She still smells the same; it’s nice to know that some things didn’t change about her.

            A thump accompanied with a muffled groan woke me up from my slumber. I rolled over and stuffed my head underneath the yellow pillow in hopes that Laura will take the hint and leave me the hell alone.

            Leave it to Laura to not take a hint: “Carm, psstt, Carm.” She whispered as she lifted up the pillow, exposing my head to the intense light filtering through the window. I rolled over in an attempt to ignore her. The bed dipped and she began to gently nudge me.

            “This is my bed, cupcake. Get off, and leave me alone. Don’t you have some blonde to go suck face with?” I muttered to the wall with my eyes still peacefully closed. A hard slap on my arm broke me out of the blissful half sleep I was falling into. “Ow, what was that for?” I snarled as I sat up.

            Laura rolled her eyes at me and huffed angrily; “You know exactly what that was for, Carm. It was very rude to talk about my girlfriend and me like that.”

            My eyebrow quirked on its own volition as I stared her down; “You want to know rude?” I growled. Brown eyes widened fractionally as Laura realized I was about to go on an angry rant.

            “Carm, can’t we just have a normal converstaio-”

            “Stop calling me that!” I yelled.

            Laura shrunk back, her eyes welling with tears.

            Inside a dark satisfaction warred against the instinctual urge to protect and comfort the girl in front of me. Instinct won, kind of. “Laura listen,” she winced when I said her name instead of a nickname, “there is obviously some animosity between us.” Laura scoffed at the understatement. “But we are stuck together so I guess I can be more civil.”

            A tear trailed down her cheek and I fought the urge to wipe it off with my thumb. “I don’t want to just be civil.” She said with a slight whimper.

            “And I don’t want to get destroyed again.” I said in a soft voice.

            She nodded in understanding as she stood up, grabbed some clothes from off her bed, and went to the bathroom (presumably to get ready for school). Once the door closed behind her I slumped down onto my bed and sighed deeply; this is going to be ~~painful~~ interesting.

(000)

            “Hey babe.” Elsie said with a smile as she leaned in to kiss my cheek.

            “Hey, how did you sleep in your new dorm? How do you like your roommate?” I asked as we walked to the cafeteria hand in hand.

            “I would’ve slept better if I was sleeping next to you.” Elsie pouted. “My new roommate is fine, a little bit of a control freak though.”

            I laughed. “What do you mean by ‘control freak’?”

            Elsie groaned ant threw her head back in exasperation. “Oh my gosh; well first she insists on enforcing this chore wheel.”

            “That actually sounds like a great idea.” I said.

            She stopped talking and looked at me incredulously; “You want to make your scary roommate follow a chore wheel?”

            “Well yeah, have you seen what a disaster the room is because of her? And it hasn’t even been two days since we moved into the dorm. And she’s not scary, she’s just… Carmilla.”

            “She wears all black everything, a _lot_ of leather, eyeliner that I must say is on point, and she always looks like she is going to stab someone.”

            “Yeah, like I said; she’s Carmilla.” I said. “She’s been like this since she was a little kid.” I smiled a little as I pictured little six year old Carm in all black everything, glowering at her older brother as he picked on other kids.

            “Earth to Laura.” I looked up to see Elsie snapping her fingers in front of my face.

            “What? Oh, sorry. What were you saying?” I shook my head to clear it from thoughts of tiny Carm.

            Elsie smiled knowingly (I may or may not zone out a lot); “I asked you what the deal with you guys is. I don’t think I’ve ever heard about Carmilla before.”

            “Well, umm. I don’t know where to start.” I paused and thought, Elsie just waited patiently for me to form an answer. “We met when we were kids. We became best friends. Right before I left we started dating-”

            “Hold up.” I stopped talking and let Elsie continue. “You and scary goth girl dated! _And_ you are childhood friends?!”

            “Yes, to both of those.” I smiled sheepishly; I was in deep shit.

            Elsie’s eyes narrowed. “So why am I just hearing about this now?” her voice was gradually getting higher.

            _Oh crap_. “Well I was really hurt after I moved away, and we haven’t even talked since before I left-”

            “Did you love her?” Elsie said in a quiet voice; the kind of eerie, dangerous quiet.

            “More than you know.” I said with a broken voice.

            Elsie sighed and let go of my hand. “Do you still love her?”

            I answered honestly; “I don’t think I could ever stop loving her.”

            Elsie took a step back and started rubbing her temples; “Do I need to worry about you and her sharing a room?”

            My eyes widened; “No! Of course not! I would never cheat on you! Besides, we can barely talk to each other. Seriously Els, you have nothing to worry about.” Elsie lets out a sigh of relief. She reached forward to hold my hand and I stepped away from her. “But the fact that you think I would be unfaithful is _not_ okay.” I turned away and stomped to my next class, skipping food altogether.

            Due to the fact that I was angrily ranting in my head, I was not very aware of my surroundings; which, consequentially, led to me not noticing the person in front of me. I rammed into them head on. We both stumbled a bit before they steadied themselves and then caught me before I fell. “Woah, calm down there Laura.” I winced as she said my name.

            “Sorry, Carm-Carmilla.” Good thing I managed to correct myself before I said a nickname. “I just wasn’t paying attention.”

            Her lips pulled up into a smile (one that was barely there, but a smile nonetheless). There was still hope for our friendship. “That was obvious.” She seemed to realize that she still had her hands resting on my shoulders, and pulled back, putting a few feet between us. “So what’s got your pretty little mind so occupied?” she looks around thoughtfully before speaking again; “Trouble in paradise?” She glances behind my shoulder. I turn in that direction and see Elsie angrily talking to someone.

            I sigh, there is no point in lying; “Yeah, she doesn’t think I can be trusted sharing a room with you.”

            “Well I know I’m hot, but she doesn’t need to worry. You would never cheat, and I would never let you even if you wanted to.” She smiled at me, like honest to God smiled. It was even more beautiful than I remembered.

            A familiar voice broke me out of my reverie; “Sup frosh.”

My eyes widened and I looked around until I saw them. “Laf! I didn’t know you were going here too!” I ran up to them and gave them the biggest hug I could manage.

They groaned slightly as I squeezed. “A. Little. Too. Tight. There. Frosh.” Laf said.

“Oh, oops, sorry.” I said with a sheepish smile as I pulled back. “How have you been? I love what you did with your hair! What are you studying? How did you manage to find this college? It’s pretty great, isn’t it?” I bounced on my feet excitedly.

Lafontaine ran a hand through their red hair leaving it is messy spikes. “Ummm, that is a lot of questions. It’s going to take me a while to get used to your rants again” They laugh. “Well, I have been good. Thank you, I was going for awesome, it seems I have succeeded. I am studying pretty much any science that I can get my hands on. The Queen of Snark,” they pointed at Carmilla, “actually found this college and I really liked it. And yeah, this is defiantly an awesome college.” They sighed in relief and counted their fingers. “Yep, I think I answered all your questions. How about you?”

“I like it a lot, I am especially excited for my journalism class.” I checked my watch and realized I had three minutes until I was late. “Speaking of, I have to run to that very class or I will be late. See you guys around!” I waved frantically as I sprinted in the direction of the journalism class.

“Bye Laura!”

“Later Cupcake.” I beamed when Carm called me by one of the nicknames I had grown up with. _Maybe there really is hope_. I thought as I ran.

(000)

            “Okay we need to set up some ground rules or something.” Laura said as she stormed into the room.

            I continued to read my book. Laura did not seem to appreciate the greatness of Shakespeare as much as I did though, because she closed _Hamlet_. “I was reading that.” I said, somewhat annoyed, and also slightly entertained. I wonder how far I could go before she blows her top.

            Laura huffs. “You are the messiest, grossest roommate ever! You leave hair in the drain, your clothes are everywhere, you leave muddy boot prints all over, you never clean up your dishes,” she spotted her yellow pillow next to me, yanked it up, and tossed it onto her bed, “and you keep stealing my yellow pillow!”

            “That bunched up face you make when you’re angry is hilarious buttercup.”

            Her face turned red as she got even angrier; “That’s it! We are going to do a chore wheel.”

            “There is no way in frilly hell that I am doing a chore wheel.” I said as I reopened my book.

            “Carmilla Karnstein, I cannot stand living in this messy place. If you are not going to do a chore wheel, would you at least clean up after yourself?”

            I sigh deeply; “Sure thing cutie.” Laura’s cheeks tinged pink. _Oh I can have a lot of fun with this._ My thoughts turned to how I could mess with Laura. I am going to have a ball with this. Laura was still talking about all the things I should start cleaning or something, but I ignored her, my mind was somewhere else.

(000)

            “Did you notice Carmilla flirting with me? Or am I just imagining it? It’s all in my head isn’t it? Great now I seem like I think everyone is really into me. I don’t actually think that you know. I was just getting the flirtatious vibes from her. It’s probably all in my head though. Never mind.” I finished my (small) rant and took a deep breath.

            “Okay, that was the most long-winded analysis of- you know what? I don’t even know where I was going with that.” Laf said (though it was muffled because they had their face pressed into their pillow.

            “Anyhoo, now that I have made myself seem kind of crazy/creeper-like. How goes the college life?” I spun around in the swivel chair in Laf’s room while I asked the question.

            “It’s fine, but I really miss Perry; this long distance thing is hard.”

            “Ohmygosh you guys are dating! When did this happen? Also where is she going to college?” I squealed in excitement.

            They rolled over and looked at me, a goofy, love struck grin on their face. “Perry and I got together the summer before sophomore year. And right now she is going to Arizona State University, but she is seeing if she can transfer here next semester. She wanted to go here, but she didn’t get into the nursing program here, so she is doing her pre-reqs at ASU and then transferring.”

            “Wow that is really cool.” I said with a proud smile. “I could definitely see Perry as a nurse, taking care of people and all.”

            They let out a love-struck sigh. “Yeah, she’s the best.”

            “So, how is Kirsch and Danny? Did they ever start dating?”

            Laf’s love-struck expression melted into one that they use only when telling a story. “Yeah, for a little while after you left. They ended up breaking up, though. You’ll never guess who Danny ended up dating!”

            I raised my eyebrows in question; “I’m not sure how I feel about your reaction. Who is it?” I asked wearily.

            They bounced excitedly; “She’s dating Mel, that girl we got into that sort-of fight with the beginning of our freshman year.”

            “No freaking way! I thought they hated each other.”

            “Sometimes hate is just love in disguise. Like you were so afraid to give yourself to someone, because you don’t want to get hurt, so you just push them away. But the thing is; they light up your life, they make bad days bearable, and they still care about you even when you guys are fighting. And after a while, you don’t want to fight anymore, and you don’t even know why, and that is when there are no more masks involved. The person you thought you hated was actually the one you loved the most.”

            “Woah, that was like really deep. Is there something you need to talk about? That was just very specific.”

            “No I’m fine. Let’s just say you aren’t the only one who sees how people keep themselves safe.”

            I blushed. “That poem was not the greatest; I can’t believe you even remember it haha.”

            They looked at me seriously; “That poem really helped me look outside of myself and see the pain other were feeling, of course I remember it.”

            “Aww, Laf that is really sweet.” I stood up and gave them a hug.

            “I really missed you frosh.” They said into my shoulder.

            I sighed deeply; “I missed you too, you don’t know how many times I wanted to just go back.”

            Noticing my suddenly sad demeanor, they changed the subject; “So, who is this mysterious girlfriend? And when do I get to meet her?”

            I sat on the edge of the bed with a small laugh; “Well her name is Elsie. She was the only one to talk to me when I moved to that new school. We started hanging out all the time and became super good friends, and I kind of fell for her.”

            “Sounds kind of familiar.” Laf said quietly. _Huh, it really did. How did I not notice that?_


	24. Drinks and Squirrels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Elsie argue about Carmilla. Laura and Carm talk about the hurt they were feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my peeps! I am so excited to give you another chapter. It is seriously a pleasure to write for you guys, your comments and whatnot seriously make my day. I hope y'all enjoy! All mistakes are my own, though the characters are not mine.

“Hey.” Elsie said quietly as she approached me.

            “Hi.” (What? I was still mad about her insinuations of me being unfaithful).

            “Can we talk?”

            “Depends what are we going to talk about?” (Okay, yes I was being childish).

            Elsie grabbed onto my arm and slowed us to a stop. Turning to face me she said; “Laura, seriously, would you please talk to me?”

            I sighed. “Okay what was the very important thing you wanted to say?”

            Elsie tightened her jaw; “I just wanted to say that I was sorry that I didn’t trust you. I know that you would never cheat on me. I guess I was just hurt that you didn’t tell me about such a big part of your life.”

            Trying hard to keep the bitterness out of my voice, I said; “But she wasn’t though, that’s the thing. She was a _huge_ part of my life, maybe even the biggest part of it. But the second I had to leave, she left me. Not in the physical way, but in the emotional way. And I was left alone, without my best friend. So, yeah, she was a big part of my life; but that part went away as soon as she left me behind. I guess I didn’t want to talk about it. It hurt too much.”

            “That is why I wanted to apologize; I have no idea what happened between you and Carmilla, and I have no right to insert myself into the situation and judge you.” She grabbed my hands and started gently rubbing her thumbs along my palms. “I just miss my girlfriend.”

            I sighed and rolled my eyes playfully (all was forgiven) “I _guess_ I missed my girlfriend too.” My look of feigned annoyance melted into an easy smile as I leaned forward and kissed Elsie chastely on the lips.

            “Soooo, do you have any plans for today?”

            “Nope, I don’t have any classes today, why?”

            Elsie smiled mischievously and started leading me towards the dorms. “My roommate won’t be here all weekend.”

            “I guess I do have plans for today.” I smiled as we walked slightly faster towards her room.

(000)

            _You mean to tell me that the ridiculously short little girl who managed to get me to come all the way back home to surprise you for your birthday, and later left you to move across the country, essentially shattering your heart, is your roommate? And in a college in Austria nonetheless? It seems your luck is worse than most. Is she still as annoying as she was when I met her?_ Mattie’s smooth voice questioned into the phone. (We have kept in touch over the years, but I still haven’t seen her in person since my birthday all those years ago).

            I sigh _Okay, first, I am only slightly taller than Laura meaning you just insulted my height as well. Second, it wasn’t her choice that she had to move. Third, she is not annoying; she just finds excitement in things that not everyone sees the good in._

            _I have a question for you; if it wasn’t her fault that she had to leave, why are you punishing her for it? You obviously still care for the girl, you just defended her._

She had a point. _Ugh, because even if it wasn’t her fault she hurt me._

_Carmilla, I love you, but you are being very childish about this._

I sighed dejectedly. _You’re right Mattie, I’ll try to be more mature about this._

_Though I would normally not care about anything like this, that persistent little girl somehow managed to make me somewhat fond of her._

            I rolled my eyes at Mattie’s attempt to sound heartless (when we all know she is a huge softy). _So how is… wait where are you living now?_

_I’m in Rome right now and it is just gorgeous darling. You really must come with me on one of my business trips sometime._

_As much fun as that sounds, I have no interest in fashion, I would be pretty bored at the shows._

_That cuts me deeply._ Mattie feigned pain on the phone. _Sometimes I wonder how we are related._

_Personally, I wonder more about my relation to William._

She laughed at that. _I agree with that sentiment, where did that boy come from?_

Mattie and I continued to laugh and talk on the phone until she said she had to go get some models ready and quadrupole check the outfits she made. I wished her luck and told her it would be awesome. After we both said “I love you’s” and hung up, I sighed deeply and fell back onto my bed.

            I rolled over and noticed Laura’s yellow pillow was returned to her bed. I _really_ wanted that pillow. “Screw maturity” I muttered to myself as I sat up with a groan and transferred the pillow to my bed. Much better. I inhaled the scent of Laura as my eyelids began to droop and I decided to take a nap.

            I was rudely awakened by _someone_ yanking a pillow out from under me. “What the frilly hell ll was that for? I was sleeping!” I said indignantly.

            Laura huffed angrily. “Carm-Carmilla, that is _my_ pillow you were drooling all over.”

            I rolled over languidly and stretched, making sure to ride my shirt up a little bit. “Good observational skills there cutie.”

            Laura rolled her eyes and plopped down on her bed, yellow pillow in hand. “Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with you.”

            Should I make this dirty? She made it so easy. “Will I can think of _plenty_ of things you could do with me.” Oops, I forgot about being mature. Ah, screw it.

            It was hard to keep in a laugh as her cheeks tinged pink. “I- uh- I… You know that is not what I meant.”

            I feigned innocence; “What, ever are you talking about? There are many things we could do together: croquet, horseback riding, watch a movie. What were you thinking, cupcake?” her eyes widened as she considered the fact that I might not have been using an innuendo before (I was, but she doesn’t know that). I sat up and leaned against the wall, facing her, “Ohhh, I know what you were thinking. Tsk tsk, who knew my little creampuff would grow up to be so dirty-minded.” Oops, I did not mean to call her my; maybe she wouldn’t notice.

            She did. Her eyes narrowed at the culprit word. “I know what you are doing.” She said with a dash of venom, “You are trying to pretend that nothing happened, and that you did nothing wrong. Well, my forgiveness is not going to come that easy. You didn’t even _apologize_! Nope, you will not lure me in with your dirty jokes and sugary treat names.” Even when she was angrily rambling, she was adorable. Damn it I missed this girl.

            “Laura, listen. I-I was really hurt when you left. Andbeforeyousayanything,” I said to cut off her angry remark about it _not being her fault_ , “I know that you didn’t have a choice in you going anywhere. And I think you deserve to hear the reason for my radio silence.”

Laura sat there listening intently, her face scrunched up adorably in the way it does when she is focusing very hard on something. _Deep breath, you can do this Karnstein_. “I… I was scared of losing you. And I know that doesn’t make sense because I just pushed you away, but I was scared of losing even the smallest piece of you. I was scared of losing sleepovers, and popcorn fights, and stolen kisses, and walking in the park, and looking at the stars, and everything- everything that I had always done with _you_. I couldn’t stand to have only a part of you, not when I had all of you since we were little kids. I had the days where you were so sick you couldn’t even get out of bed, the days that we tried to cook and burnt everything, the days where we just lounged around and watched that ridiculous _Doctor Who_ show. How was I supposed to handle losing my best friend like that? How was I supposed to be okay with you leaving and not being able to see you every day, to hold your hand, to see your smile? I just couldn’t.” When I concluded my impassioned speech, I finally managed to look Laura in the eyes; tears floated there. I desperately wanted to comfort her, but I just sat there, still as a statue. “I missed you so much Laura. I missed you with every piece of my broken heart, and I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I really wasn’t thinking outside of my own pain, which was completely unfair to you.”

“Oh, Carm.” She looked at me wide eyed as she said my nickname, I nodded that it was alright, she continued talking; “How do you think I felt about losing my best friend? Without even a-” her voice cracked and tears streamed down her face, “without even a word. I called for _months_ and had no reply.” My heart broke a little more as she kept talking. “I was in a whole new place, a whole new school, and I was without the person that makes everything okay when it isn’t. The person who held me when I was sobbing over getting chewed out by a teacher for being too nosey, the person who wiped away my tears when I fell down that tree and broke my arm in the seventh grade, the person who would read me stories until I fell asleep because I was too scared to close my eyes after your brother told me that all the monsters were hiding inside my head.” We both laughed a little at the memory of Will telling us about the monsters in our heads, poor Laura screamed her little head off until I calmed her down. She sobered up and continued speaking; “All I needed was you, and I didn’t have that. I missed you so much Carm, I still do. This,” she gestured animatedly between us, “is nothing like what we used to be. I would love it if we could go back to that, or end up in an even better place with each other. I’m with Elsie now, so we can’t be girlfriends, but if you want we can be best friends again.”

Against my own volition, tears pooled in my eyes and dripped down my face. I finally managed to move and I stood up and strode over to Laura. I leaned down and engulfed her in the biggest, tightest hug; maybe if I held her tight enough, I could bring the pieces of her together. “I love you so freaking much cupcake.”

Laura just sat, sobbing into my shoulder. “I love you too Carm, more than you will know.”

And there we sat, clutching one another tightly. This time I am not letting go, no matter what.

(000)

            “We should go out to a club tonight.” Lafontaine said to the table as they munched on French fries.

            Carmilla raised an eyebrow, “And why would I want to spend the night in a place filled with drunk idiots?”

            “Because it would be super fun Carm, you should go.” I said as I bounced excitedly, thinking about all the fun we could have. “Do you want to go babe?” I turned towards Elsie.

            She looked between Carmilla and me before saying a tentative “yes”. I squealed excitedly while Laf smiled triumphantly.

We both looked back at Carmilla, “Pleasseeee. I know you will have soo much fun if you go.”

“Plus,” Laf added, “You too will be a drunk idiot, you shan’t forget about that.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes as she pondered the offer, “Okayy, I guess I could suffer through it for you guys.”

“Yess!” Laf and I said at the same time as we high fived each other. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Elsie frown. _What was that about?_ I wondered to myself.

 

Twelve hours later we were all standing outside of this cool club called “The Anglerfish”. They sure do have weird names for clubs here in Austria.

Music blared so loudly inside that we could hear it on the street. Laf turned around and grinned manically at the rest of us, they adjusted their black vest before strutting up to the bouncer and talking to him. While those two were talking, I looked at the rest of the group. Elsie was wearing a fitted green dress the falls mid-thigh, her hair is falling straight and the top of it is twisted back into an intricate knot; she looks hella good. Carmilla is wearing a bit shorter black dress that looks like it ripples whenever it moves, her loosely curled hair cascaded down her shoulders; she looked amazing.

I leaned towards Elsie and whispered that she looked hot. She beamed at me and said that I looked really good as well. “I’m going to go see what your friend, Lafontaine, is saying to that bouncer.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked towards Laf and the bouncer. When she reached them she started talking animatedly, the bouncer laughed.

“She seems nice.” Carmilla said uncertainly as she stared at the group ahead of us.

“Haha yeah she is, she was actually the first person to talk to me when I changed schools. Oh, random change of topic, but you look really pretty tonight.”

The corner of Carm’s mouth turned up into a slight smile, “Thanks cupcake, you don’t look so bad yourself.”

I looked down at my dark blue sparkly dress and smiled. “Thanks Carm.”

“No problem cutie.”

It was at this moment that Elsie walked back to us. I could tell she heard Carmilla call me cutie because she got really possessive all of a sudden. She grabbed my hand and started talking to me, leaving Carm entirely out of the conversation. Carmilla seemed to get Elsie’s not to subtle hint and mumbled something about “helping ginger number one with social interactions” before stalking off.

The second Carmilla was far enough away not to hear anything I pulled my hand out from Elsie’s. “What the hell was that?”

Elsie continued eyeing Carm. “What was what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me! I don’t do well with the whole jealousy thing so back the hell off. I told you I wouldn’t cheat on you with Carmilla, so you are just going to have to trust me and not get so jealous.”

Elsie huffed and turned to me. “Does she call everyone ‘cutie’ or is that just you?”

“She has always called me cutie, or cupcake, or creampuff, or other random sugary names, it’s just our thing. Calm down.”

I have three words for you: wrong. Word. Choice. I realized this only after Elsie’s nostrils began to flair. “Calm down. _Calm down_! You know what this night was a stupid idea, I’m leaving.” She turned on her heel angrily batting at my hand angrily as I tried to stop her. “Have a good night with _Carm_ Laura, you two deserve each other!” she called over her shoulder.

I was going to chase after her, but not to bring her back, it was to tackle her. How freaking _rude_! I told her I wasn’t going to cheat, and it’s her fault for getting so jealous over nothing. I started walking after her before a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and gently pulled me back. “Woah, giver her sometime to cool down cupcake.” Carmilla said softly in my ear. “Besides, I think it might be harder for you guys to make up if you start strangling her.”

I melted in Carm’s arms; “You’re right, let’s just go inside.”

I turned around and saw Carmilla’s signature eyebrow raise; “You sure creampuff? We can just go home.”

I laughed through the tears of frustration pooling in my eyes; “You are not getting out of this so easily Carmilla Karnstein, let’s go get out party on!” She rolled her eyes before pulling me into a tight hug. When she felt that I was calmer, she let go and led me towards the club.

“Laf’s already inside buying us drinks.” Carmilla yelled over the music.

“Perfect, I’m ready to get my drink on!”

(000)

            The second Laura uttered those damned words, I knew I was in for a long night. That girl was hurting more than she let on. Since we have been little kids, Laura has always taken pride in being very honest. It’s a really big slight if you don’t trust her, because that girl is all about the truth. I knew it was a bad idea to let her go crazy and drink a whole bunch, but I knew I would only make it worse if I didn’t trust in her to stop drinking when she felt she needed to. Laf learned this lesson when they tried to cut her off after she had six shots. She growled at them and kept downing shots. Lafontaine looked like a kicked puppy when Laura was done with them. I decided that I should probably stay relatively sober in case Laura needed help getting home (it looked like she would need help at this pace)        .

            After her seventh shot, Laura dragged me onto the dance floor and started dancing crazily. Her arms swayed above her head while her hips sashayed side to side. This was going to be an interesting night. Guys and girls alike started hitting on my midget best friend and I had to fend them off all throughout the night. It was kind of a miserable night for me, though there were little moments that made it worth it: like her bitch-slapping this guy who tried to grope her, or her drunkenly talking to this squirrel on the way home. The things that really made the whole night worth it was when we got back to our room.

            “Thanksh for tonight Carm, I had a lot of fun.” Laura slurred as she struggled to get off her heels while standing up.

            I gently sat her on her own bed and helped her with her shoes; “It was no problem cutie, you are pretty funny when you are drunk.”

            Laura chuckled and pulled her dress up over her head. I averted my eyes respectfully and went to her dresser, pulling out a _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. Still looking at the ground, I handed her the clothing. “Put these on cupcake.”

            “Sure thing Carm.” She slid on the pants and struggled into the shirt (this girl is the most adorable drunk I have ever seen). When she was finished getting dressed, I tucked her into her bed and said I would be back in a bit. I picked out some PJ’s for myself and walked to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and then threw on those clothes. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Laura passed out; her mouth hanging open and snoring lightly. How freaking cute can this girl be?

            I slipped into bed after turning off the light and snuggled into my comforter. “Carm?” Laura said quietly. I guess she wasn’t as passed out as I thought.

            “Yes creampuff?”

            “Do you still look at the stars?”

            “Of course I do, and every time I think of you.”

            A sharp intake of breath fills the room (maybe I said too much). “I think of you too, every time I looked at the night sky I thought of you. I missed you so much Carm.”

            I stared into the blackness sadly, “I missed you too Laur.” The only reply I got was the sound of soft snoring. _No way in hell was I going to let this girl go._ I thought to myself as I started to drift off into sleep. _Never again._ Was my last thought as I finally fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, if you guys are interested in messaging me and whatnot my tumblr is lezbehonest1745. I don't have much on my tumblr but i'm cool with messaging people if they want :). I hope you liked my chapter. Love you guys


	25. Tickles and Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm and Laura are slowly becoming as close as they used to be (friend-wise). Elsie and Laura talk. Carmilla meets someone (again).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Here is another chapter. I am totally pumped to share it with you! :) I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Oh, if y'all are interested; I have a new fanfic I am working on. It's called "Love and Such" it is (of course) Carmilla. I wanted to have Will and Carm get along, so they are pretty close in this. Also Carm's mom is not a raging bitch :). If you're interested, check it out 
> 
> Love you guys! <3

_Yes, dad, I did get the email that had all the martial arts training areas in the city._ I groaned into the phone (sometimes having a super paranoid dad was annoying; I can handle myself).

            _Good. Will you please pick at least one class and sign up for it?_ My dad asked.

            _Sure dad. Though I don’t see why I need to take_ another _self-defense class; I am already trained in Krav Maga._

_Honey, we had this talk. You can never be too prepared._

(Well I beg to differ). _Okay dad._

_Are you eating healthy? Don’t lie to me young lady, I’ve lived with you for eighteen years, I know all about your strange cookie obsession._

            _Dadd, I am eating just fine._ A snicker behind me caused my cheeks to flush (perhaps I was just binging on cookies and chocolate; when Carm didn’t steal it, of course). _Listen, dad, I need to go. I love you._

_I love you too Laura, be safe out there._

_Will do. Bye dad._

_Bye hon._

            I hung up the phone and flopped back onto my bed with a groan. “Rough call?” Carmilla asked from behind her book.

            “He just doesn’t trust me to take care of myself. I am an adult and he still treats me like a little kid.” I huffed.

            “Well you do have the diet of what a little kid would eat if they had free rein.” Carm pointed out unhelpfully.

            “You are one to talk, you eat all the same things as me; in fact, you eat at least half of all my food.”

            Carm’s hair bobbed as she shrugged. “I never said I was eating any better, cutie. I was just pointing out the obvious.”

            “Ugh, okay, yes, I admit that my eating habits aren’t the most…healthy. But, I really have grown up! I mean I am living on my own, kind of. And I… do homework without being told. Plus, here I can drink legally. I have a lot of adult-like things going for me.”

            “Wow that was a really inspirational speech, cupcake; even I am convinced of how _very_ adult-like you are. I mean drinking _and_ homework without supervision, there is no better evidence indicating the status of your adulthood.” She licked the tip of her finger and flipped a page in her book.

            “You know what miss snarkypants, no cookies for you.”

            An eyebrow shot up. “Ohh, and how exactly are you going to stop me from getting a cookie?”

            I gulped, she’s even looking up from her book; I’m screwed. “I will…umm, eat them all!” I started shoveling chocolate chip cookies into my mouth.

            “You are not helping your case, creampuff. I think you are making it worse in fact. You are regressing by years with each second that passes by.” She slowly set down her book and began to approach me.

            Determined to eat all the cookies before she could steal some, I continued to chew and put more cookies in my mouth. “Noph forph youph Carmph.” I mumbled as I attempted to fit even more food in my face.

            With a smirk, Carmilla swaggered up to me and swiped the cookies from my grasp. I mumbled something incoherent and attempted to chew even faster (I didn’t want to choke while I was tackling her).

            “Wow. That was almost too easy cupcake. Some defender of cookies you are. I managed to tak-” her gloating session was cut short when I launched myself at her and knocked her onto her bed. I grabbed the cookies out of her hand and began tickling her viciously before she could retaliate. “Hahaha okay haha I give up hahaha you win haha please hahaha just stop ahaha!” she screeched as I tickled her sides with no mercy.

            “Whose cookies will you leave alone?” I questioned with a devilish smile.

            “Yours!” Carmilla wheezed.

            Satisfied with her answer, I stopped tickling her and got off of her. I returned to my own bed and grabbed a cookie (what? All that tickling made me hungry). It was knocked out of my hand and I was pinned down. “I may have said I wouldn’t eat your cookies, but I never said I wouldn’t get payback.” Her dark eyes narrowed as she smirked.

            “Ah Carm hahaha stop is haha I’m sorry ahaha please stop hahha!”

            “Who is a midget that eats like a little kid?” Carmilla asked with a laugh.

            “Stapp haha I’m not admitting to that hahaha!”

            “The tickling will continue until the truth comes out.” She yelled over my hysterical laughter.

            “Fine! Hahah I am a cookie eating midget! Haha now stop hahaha!” Carm’s assault stopped and I finally managed to breath. “That was mean.” I pouted playfully.

            Carmilla just laughed, a bright smile making her face even more beautiful. “Whatever you say cutie.” She scooted off of my bed and grabbed the book she was reading, bringing it over with her when she sat by me. I pulled out my laptop and looked through my assignment for the week.

            “Hey, Carm.”

            “Yes, creampuff?”

            “Have you ever read _The Catcher in the Rye_?”

            “Of course, great book. Why?”

            “I have to read it for my college comp course.”

            “You’ll like it”

            “Cool, thanks Carm.”

            “No problem cupcake.”

            While she flipped through the pages of her book I slid a cookie discreetly towards her. Her lips curled up into a small smile as she took it and nibbled on it. I went back to reading on my laptop.

(000)

            “Hey…Carmilla, right?”

            I turned around to see that cute girl from move-in day. “Sure is cutie.”

            She flushed “I’m not sure if you remember me,” then tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear, “I’m Taylor, that girl from um,” her face turned even redder, “the move in night.”

            I smiled at how shy she was. _You know, she is pretty cute. And she seemed like a cool enough person when I talked to her. She was definitely a good kisser. And, if I’m being honest with myself; I can’t be with cupcake. I need to do something for myself._ “Oh I remember you.” I said in my most sultry voice. She was as red as a tomato now, so I’m pretty sure it worked. “But, I wouldn’t be opposed to getting to know you more.”

            She giggled nervously and smiled. “I would love that.”

            “Here.” I pulled a pen out of her purse and wrote my number on her hand. “See you around.” I walked away making sure to sway my hips in the way that drives girls crazy. _To new beginnings_.

(000)

            “Hey, we need to talk- wait, Laura, come back. Please!” Elsie tugged on my arm and swung me around.

            “What!?” I said angrily, Elsie flinched back.

            “I just wanted to apologize for my behavior this Saturday.”

            “You can just take your apology and shove it up your sorry a-” I took a deep breath through my nose. “What happened was unacceptable. I swore to you I wouldn’t cheat and you still didn’t believe me! And then, you started acting like a real- sorry for my language- bitch to Carm! You didn’t even take the time to talk to me about anything; not how you felt, not how I felt, and definitely not the truth!” I released an angry breath and ran my fingers through my hair.

            Elsie did manage to look ashamed. “You’re completely right, and I’m sorry for that. I promise that I will try to be more open and talk about things more with you. I guess I just worry because there is obviously still some residual feelings between you and Carmilla.”

            “What? There is _nooo_ residual feelings, like, none, at all.” My heart sunk as I said it. Perhaps there are, but those are for Carm and me to deal with, not Elsie and me.

            I could see her physically restraining herself from rolling her eyes. “There is, and it can’t be addressed until you admit it. But seriously, I will not get in-between the two of you. In fact, I want you guys to be friends. I saw how much you were hurt when you talked about the radio silence between you two, and I just want to see you happy.” I rushed forward and hugged her tightly, tears stinging my eyes. “I really am sorry, Laur. I just don’t know what I would do if I was without you, and I go a little crazy when I think about it.”

            A watery laugh escaped my lips. “A little?” I joked.

            Elsie’s chuckle made her chest vibrate. “I really am sorry though, and I promise to just talk to you. Okay?”

            “Okay.” I pulled back from the hug to kiss her softly on the lips. It tasted salty. I ignored the flashback to when I told Carmilla about me having to leave, and the kiss tasting the same way. That wasn’t happening; this is here and now, and I’m not leaving this time. I’m also not with Carmilla.

            Elsie pulled back and wiped the tears off of my cheek. “I love you.” She blurted, her eyes widened right after she said it.

            I paused a second before saying; “I love you too, Els.” We kissed again.

            “Sooo, do you want to go get lunch?” Elsie said shyly.

            I smiled and took her hand in her own. “That would be lovely.”


	26. Catching the Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carm read the same book and feel some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! Sorry it took a couple of days, my family was in town. I hope you like this one (and that it was worth the wait) :) I love you guys <3 Oh, by the way I just read "The Catcher in the Rye" and like it a lot, so it is heavily incorporated into this chapter (though I don't think you need to have read the book to understand what is going on in this chapter) Enjoy :)

“Hey Carm, have you seen my _The Catcher in the Rye_ book? I can’t find it anywhere.” I called over my shoulder as I sifted through my things.

            “Did you check the bookshelf, cutie?” Carmilla said as she paged through a book (she was sitting on _my_ bed, by the way. Even though she has a perfectly good one of her own. Just saying).

            I huffed and started reading through the titles on the little bookshelf beside our computer. “Ohmygosh, you still have the astronomy book I got for your birthday?” I exclaimed as I turned around, book in hand.

            “Of course I do, cupcake.” She didn’t even look up, just turned a page in her book.

            I set it back down where I found it and continued to search for the book I actually needed for my class. “Ha! Found it.” I triumphantly lifted the book in the air. I flipped through it until I landed on the place I bookmarked. _Okay, I left off somewhere…where was it? Oh, yeah. Something about this Jane chick._ I walked over to my bed and sat down next to Carmilla, then started to read. _Wow this Holden guy has it bad for this girl._ I thought a little while later. There is this one quote that I loved so much, I read it at least five times: _“You never even worried with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were.”_ Something about that really spoke to me, but I couldn’t understand why. Giving up reading, I stretched and then rested my head on Carm’s shoulder.

            “Comfortable there, creampuff?” she questioned with a chuckle, continuing to read her book.

            “Mhhmm.” I mumbled, already getting sleepy.

            “I’m not sure I appreciate being a pillow.” She said facetiously.

            “You steal my yellow pillow, you become my pillow. That’s how it works.” I murmured.

            She laughed and continued reading, while I fell into a deeper sleep. Before I was completely out, I felt Carmilla shift slightly and put an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer. I snuggled my head into her shoulder and fell into the murky nothingness of sleep, a small smile decorating my face.

(000)

            Laura is kind of snoring, ~~in the most adorable way~~ , and it’s making it kind of hard for me to concentrate. Or maybe the fact that she is drooling all over me is the distracting part. I sighed after reading the same page over and over and getting nothing from it. Quietly setting down the book, I looked around, my eyes landing on the astronomy book Laura picked up earlier. I’m so glad she didn’t open it, I may or may not have used it as a diary of sorts.

            Like on days that I found important, I would write something in it. This tradition started the week I got it. I wrote about Laura and my first kiss, the first time we held hands, our first date, and the day that Laura left. After she was gone, I wrote in it like I would if I was talking to her. I told her about the puppy dog and the Amazonian finally dating (and that she called it), I wrote about the ginger twins getting together (and how absolutely nauseating it was to witness their attempts at flirting), and I talked about graduation and other random things that I found important at the time. I even continued writing in it when I moved here. About how I felt seeing her again ~~and that she managed to be even more beautiful and smart than before she left~~ , about how I felt when she said she wanted to find a way to be friends with me ~~which both shattered my heart and melted the pieces at the same time~~ , and about the little things that I love so much about her which I truly missed (like her adorable snoring and the fact that she can’t sleep with her mouth closed all the way, or the fact that she talks in her sleep, or the…well you get the point…also, now that I think about it, it seems a bit creepy that I am watching her while I sleep… meh). I made the little moments of my life into stars and then transformed them into constellations, for her. So that she could see how much she lit up my world, and how it darkened when she left, but never went out. To let her (and, if I’m honest, myself) that though she brings out the light in me, she isn’t the only light in my life; I create my own light. _Ugh, I am such a sentimental sap_ I thought with a sigh as I looked between Laura and the book of memories I had sitting on the bookshelf.

            Wanting to get out of my own head, I picked up Laura’s book and opened it to the page she was on last. I have (or course) read the book before, and remember enjoying it. Ah, she was reading about Jane. The first time I read about her, I wondered why he wouldn’t act on his (obvious) love towards her; if she was the only person he cared about enough to stay in his memories years from when they last saw each other, why wouldn’t he take the leap to be with her when offered the chance? Reading through it now, it was beginning to make sense.

            Holden is damaged goods. After he lost his brother, he lost trust in people; if he couldn’t trust in the fact that his little brother was not supposed to die before him, how could he trust that anyone would stay with him? That sense of profound loss shattered his belief in people’s ability to stick around, making him pull away from others in order to avoid a repeat of the trauma losing his brother offered. Making it so that, though Holden cared for Jane, he did not want to let the care he felt for her make them closer and open him up to the pain of potentially losing someone again. And so he walks through life, never letting anyone in, and being miserable for it. I can relate, in a way. I mean, who’s better at holding everyone at an arm’s length than me? Perhaps I should read this book again.

            I turned to the first page of the book and began reading; all the while Laura was mumbling something in her sleep about Buffy. Leave it to her to dream about that freaking show.

(000)

            “Sup, lady of the snark.” Laf said with an easy wave.

            I rolled my eyes and waved back. “Hello, my weird mad scientist.”

            “Wow, either your insults have lost their sting, or there is something eating at you.” They looked me up and down, “I’m going to go with option number two? What’s up?”

            I smiled at the fact that they know me well enough to see something wrong. “Well, I’ve been thinking about this girl I’ve been dating, Taylor, and-”

            “You realized that she would never compare to a certain tiny gay and dumped her, and you are now trying to find a way to win the heart of your one and only? I ship it.” Lafontaine said in the most nonchalant manner possible.

            “Ummm, I was going to say that I really like Taylor… but I’m glad to know how invested you are in my non-romantic relationship with Larua?”

            They looked somewhat embarrassed as we continued walking. “Sorry, I thought you guys actually realized that you are perfect for each other and finally acted on it, guess not.”

            “Ummm, I think I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen. Sooo, how are you and Curly Sue?” I asked in a quick subject change.

            They immediately dimmed a little bit. “We are fighting. She was supposed to come visit me during winter break, and even though she doesn’t have homework or anything holding her back- I even already payed for her plane ticket- she decided she just didn’t want to go. I was, understandably, pissed and asked her why. And she said she just didn’t want to come all the way down here. What the hell is that?!” they ranted (without taking a single breath, I might add).

            “Woah, calm down there.” I said in a light tone. “I know that this can be really upsetting, but I think the best way to proceed would be to actually converse with your girlfriend about how she is feeling, and why she is feeling that way, instead of biting her head off.” They glared at me. “Hey, I’m just saying. Communication is key; if you don’t talk to the girl, then you are never going to solve anything. I mean look what happened with me and Lau- yeah, it tears people apart. So take a minute, don’t think about yourself, and find a way to talk to Perry in a mature fashion. I promise you, it will make a difference.”

            They looked up, pondering my words, before responding; “You’re right. I guess I never thought about it like that.”

            “For someone who is all about examining things for science, you sure don’t examine anything else.” I said snarkily.

            They reddened. “Well, I see that your sass is back.”

            I rolled my eyes. “It never left.”

            They laughed and we kept walking together.

(000)

            I sighed happily as I turned to the last page of _The Catcher in the Rye_ ; I was _finally_ at the end. Though I liked the book, it was seriously messing me up, and I will be glad when I am finished with it. My happy sigh came to a halt as I read the last two sentences of the book: “That’s the trouble. You can’t ever find a place that is nice or peaceful, because there isn’t any.” _What. The. Actual. Fuck._ I thought angrily.

            “What kind of book is this!? This kid is fucked up! How could he end everything like that? He is alone, in a freaking mental hospital, and writing to whom exactly?” I said angrily. Carmilla chuckled, grating on my already raw nerves (thanks to this dang book). “And what is so funny?” I questioned.

            “I’ve just never seen you be so invested in a book, cupcake.”

            “Shut up. I just don’t get him. He had a chance at happily being with people, he had a chance to open himself up to others, and instead he pushed everyone away! He could have made his life rich with good experiences with people, and instead he chose to push everyone away. I-I just don’t understand why he would hurt himself like that.”

            Carmilla looked me in the eyes and saw the tears filling them (stupid crying over a damn character in a book). “Woah, cupcake. I did not think this book would affect you like this.” She came over and wrapped me in her arms.

            “I just don’t get how he could keep people who obviously cared about him away.” I sobbed into her shoulder (I was full on crying by now).

            Carm rubbed my back comfortingly. “Sometimes-” she sighed before continuing, “sometimes people are scared to get hurt, and they think that if they don’t care it won’t hurt when something bad happens to them. They do it without even thinking. Something happened to them, something so bad that they never want to feel that agony again, and so they push everything away. Because being numb is easier than having your heart ripped out with each beat; the risk of that is too much for some people. And you,” she gently pulled up my chin so that I was looking into her eyes, “you openly giver yourself to people, no matter how hurt you are, no matter how many chances you have already given. You are strong, and loving, and don’t care about self-preservation; because you know that life isn’t worth living if you live it alone. Sure, it may be easier, but it is lonely, and, in the end, we all want someone to love; even Holden did. He just didn’t have the strength to act on it like you do. That doesn’t make him less, it doesn’t make you more, it is just a reaction to pain. Our pain connects us all, just as our love does. Do you understand?” she looked at me searchingly. “We are all connected, we all feel pain, and joy, and love. That is what connects us, what brings us together; but it is also what tears us apart. And if you see this, if you see how these things effect other people, then you can understand, not only them, but yourself better.”

            I leaned forward and hugged Carmilla with all my might. “I love you, Carm.” I whispered into her hair.

            “I love you too, creampuff; more than you can imagine.”


	27. Thinking of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura realizes some very important feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! I am deeply sorry for not posting another chapter sooner! I had a major case of writer's block and just couldn't manage to figure out how to make the story go in the direction that I wanted. I really don't want to half-ass it, so it took me a while to find inspiration again. This chapter is really short, but I didn't want you guys to wait any longer than you have. I hope you enjoy! Also, I just wanted to thank you all for sticking with me this far <3

“I have been doing a lot of thinking.” I said solemnly as I lounged on my bed.

            “I’m sure that was both a rigorous and painful experience.” Carmilla snarked as she turned a page.

            “Now is not the time for sass, I am being serious, Carm.”

            My best friend sat up and closed her book. “Alright, you have my full attention. What’s eating at you, cupcake?”

            “I think I’m going to have to break up with Elsie.” I blurted before I could change my mind. A thin, dark eyebrow quirked upward. I continued: “She is so nice, and sweet, and wonderful, and she sings along to songs, and she laughs all cute…but she isn’t you.” My hands clamped down over my mouth as I realized what I had just said.

            Carmilla just stared at me with a faint look of shock. She stood up and started slowly walking toward me. “And what caused this random attitude change?”

            I gulped as she neared me. “Well a lot of things.” I rambled, “When I’m with her, it doesn’t feel natural, or easy, not like it is with you. And when we hold hands, my hand doesn’t fit perfectly.” She is right in front of me now, just staring intensely. My voice got lower as I continued, “And when we kiss, well, it is nothing compared to kissing you.”

            Carmilla leaned forward and placed her hands on either side of me. “How is it nothing compared to kissing me?” I could feel little puffs of her breath on my face.

            “Kissing her is like a summer day.”

I shivered as she leaned even closer. “And kissing me?”

“It’s like fireworks on the Fourth of July, or dew on the grass in the morning. It’s like all the small moments that I treasure the most appear before my eyes when I kiss you. It’s the sunset and the sunrise. It’s new beginnings.” I inhaled deeply as I stared into her eyes, “It is something I could do my whole life.”

Carmilla’s eyes fluttered closed and she leaned forward and pressed her lips against my own. I inhaled her and wrapped my hands around her waist while pulling her closer. She straddled me as we continued kissing. I sighed happily as I ran my fingers up her back and into her silky hair. Carm smiled before deepening the kiss, effectively taking my breath away. I dazedly continued kissing her, my thoughts all consumed by her.

She laid my down on the bed and kissed me harder. My breath started getting faster and shaking as she slid her hand up my leg. “Carm- I” she pulled back and looked at me with the most intense expression. “I- I really missed you. I really missed this. I missed holding your hand when we watched movies. I missed your beautiful eyes, your elegant laugh which turns into a funny snort when you are laughing so hard you can’t breathe. I miss your soft hair. I miss you telling me what the different globs of stars in the sky are as constellations. I miss everything about you.” I traced her face with my fingertips as I recited what I loved most about her. The littlest things that she doesn’t even mean to do- those are what I love most. “I miss rainy days with you and cuddling under the blankets. I miss attempting to cook with you. I miss going to the park and making fun of random people that walk by. I miss teasing your brother. You see, you were more than my best friend, you were my soulmate. And I miss my other half.”

I sighed once I finally finished my heartfelt monologue and just stared at her. Soft wisps of breath tickled my face. “Laura- I –“ I cut her off with a kiss. She pulled back a little bit, like she was going to speak, put then her eyes darkened and she leaned down and pressed her lips against mine. I deepened the kiss and her hands began to lift my shirt and…I woke up.

“Good dream, cupcake?” Carmilla said with a smirk.

I pulled my head off of her shoulder and grimaced at the little puddle of drool on her shoulder. “Umm, I don’t really remember.” I said as I attempted to think back on what I did actually dream about. My face flamed as I recalled. _Me and Carmilla?! Carmilla and me!? But- I’m with Ellie. I’m happy with Ellie. But am I really happy with her when I am dreaming about making out with Carm? Holy shit why was I dreaming about making out with Carm!?!_

My inner ramble of freakedoutness was cut off when Carmilla coughed awkwardly. “It’s okay to have sex dreams about your girlfriend, that is perfectly normal. Though, it might be good to not moan into my shoulder when it happens.” She was definitely trying to play off the uncomfortable and slightly hurt tone in her voice, but I know her too well not to notice it.

“It- it wasn’t a…” I dropped my voice to a whisper, “sex dream. It-it was just a, you know, I was- ummmm- jumping off a plane. It was very…interesting.”

She smirked at me and her eyes sparkles. “You are still the worst liar I have ever met cupcake.”

My face flushed even darker as I buried my face into her shoulder. “We will never speak of this.” My muffled voice vibrated into her shoulder.

Her laugh shook her shoulders. “Whatever you say, Creampuff.” She scratched my back gently with her fingernails. “So, did you want to keep watching _How I met Your Mother_ or not?”

I snuggled up to her and turned back towards the laptop sitting on her lap. A scene of Barney shirtless was frozen on the screen. “Ummm yes, who do you think I am? Though you might have to go back a little, because I have no idea what is going on.” Carm chuckled and rewound the episode. _My soulmate. My other half. How could I have spent all these years away from her, without a word, and our souls still fit so perfectly together? How could she torn out my heart and kept it with her all these years, just to give it back in perfect condition years later?_

“You alright there Cupcake? Your nose is all scrunched up in the way it does when you are thinking really hard about something.”

I turned away from the show to her gold flecked eyes. “Yeah-I-yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking.”

She shifted a little to look at me better. “Do you want to talk about it? You know I am here for you, right?”

I pulled her closer to me. “Could you just hold me? I promise I will tell you about it later, I just need to figure out some things first.”

She wrapped her arms around me, and I rested my head on her chest and just breathed her in. _Yeah, I_ really _need to figure some things out…fast._ Her heart beat steadily against my ear and I just sat there, listening, finding comfort in the soft _thump thump_.


	28. Carmilla's Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla has a problem. Will Laura help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I have finally finished a new chapter and wanted to share it with you :) I don't think I have said this is a while; but you guys are such a great audience. You all are so amazing and all of the kudos and comments make this so worth writing for you guys <3 I'm sorry if this chapter is kind of short, it is a filler chapter for the next one.
> 
> Oh, and a little warning. I posted this on my phone, so if it looks weird on your computer let me know so I can fix it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Hey Carm, what’s u- wait, why are you crying? Are you alright?” I dropped my things by the door and rushed over to her.

Carmilla wouldn’t even look at me, she just continued hurriedly shoving clothes into her bag while tears stained pale cheeks. I gently placed my hands on her shoulders. She stopped and took a shaking breath. Without thinking, I just wrapped her in my arms and held her closely. 

“What can I do to help?” 

She sniffed and gripped me tighter. “I don’t know, I can’t- I can’t think. I don’t know.” She buried her face into my shoulder and cried frantically. “It’s William, he is in the hospital because of a drug overdose.” 

“Oh my gosh, Carm, I am so sorry.”

“I just need to see him. And if- I mean when- he gets better, I will beat the hell out of him for not stopping when he said he would.”

The fact that I didn’t know Will ever did drugs, let alone that it was so bad he felt the need to promise not to use, hit me hard. Though it usually feels as if Carm and I were never apart, there are always things like this to remind me otherwise. But now is not the time for brooding, I need to help Carmilla. 

“Okay, here is what we are going to do,” teary, gold-flecked eyes regarded me carefully, “you are going to the bathroom to grab our shower stuff. I will pack the other stuff. Did you already schedule a flight home?”

“Uh, yeah at 3:30 tomorrow morning, that was the soonest.” 

“Okay, I will book a ticket for myself and start packing.”

“Wait, you’re coming?” a cold slash of hurt ripped through me as that question assaulted my ears.

“Of course, unless you don’t want me there, in that case, I will still help you pack.”

Strong hands gripped my back tightly. “No, please come.” 

That was all I needed. I hugged her before pulling back and speaking; “Okay, so the first step is you are going to go pack our bathroom stuff, and I will get my ticket. Then we can pack everything else. Sound good?” Coal-black curls bobbed as Carm nodded. “Okay, well let’s get to it!” 

After Carmilla disappeared from sight, a brief panicked thought flitted through my head:  _ What am I doing?  _ I’m not sure how to explain it, but it was like this immediate calmness suddenly began emanating from me.  _ I am helping someone I love, that is what I am doing.  _

At that moment, Carm’s soft voice radiated from the bathroom and washed over me: “I see you lying next to me…” She has always sang when she is nervous. I don’t know why, but the fact that Carmilla still has the same habit, since we were kids, was enough to ground me.

(000) 

Laura and I finally finished packing; all of our stuff sat in a neat pile on my bed.

“Okay, do we have socks?” I looked over to Laura: she has a clipboard ( _ Where did she get that? _ ) in hand, and was checking off items. 

“Yes, Cupcake, for the fiftieth time.” I teased lightly. 

Laura looked up from her list. “Carm, socks are very important. Remember that one time that we decided on an impromptu swim in the creek when we were like twelve. We had that huge water fight and got all of our stuff wet and then had to walk all the way home soaked. And the worst part was-”

“Was walking in our tennis shoes with drenched socks.” I finished the sentence with a chuckle. “Okay you got me there, Creampuff, I guess socks are very important.” she huffed and I winked playfully.

“Well, it looks like we have everything. Are you ready?” 

I looked around the room and breathed in deeply. “Yep, let’s get this show on the road.” 

We each grabbed our bags and headed out the door. We took a taxi to the airport in silence. The suffocating anxiousness pressed on my throat. I looked over at Laura for a distraction, she gazed out the window with a contemplative look on her face. 

Curiosity beat out my anxiety; “What’s eating at you, Cutie?” 

She started slightly at my voice, “Oh um *cough* I feel like I am forgetting something.” she got quieter and muttered: “I’m just not sure what.” 

“With your extensive checklist, I doubt we forgot anything.” I smiled at her. 

She sat there thinking for a bit before she shrugged noncommittally. “I guess, but I still feel like I am missing something.” 

I shrug back, “Well, if we don’t remember something, I will get it when we get in town. Sound good?” 

She smiled and leaned against my shoulder. “You always know what to say to calm me down.” 

I wrapped my arm around her and sighed. “I am pretty sure you are the one that grounds me, but I am always glad to help.” We spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence, until we arrived at the airport. I paid the cabbie (turning down Laura’s attempts to pay) and we grabbed our luggage before heading inside. The wait wasn’t too bad, and soon we were boarding our plane. 

Only Laura knows this, but I am deathly afraid of airplanes. It I can’t explain what exactly about them wiggs me out, only that I feel like I can’t breath in them; especially during takeoff. Without even asking, Laura knows to grab my hand and just start to talk about whatever random thing comes to her mind. I really appreciated that she remembered I needed this. When we were finally in the air, she still kept holding my hand and talking, that is, until she fell asleep on my shoulder. Eventually, my eyes began to droop and I rested my head on her’s before I too fell asleep. 

(000)

I woke up to the sound of people grabbing their luggage. My neck was aching really bad and there was something warm on my head. I shifted a little bit to get my bearings, and the warm weight moved as well.  _ Oh, it must be Carm’s head _ . I gently tapped her hand until she snorted and sat up. “We’re here.” I whispered. She just scrunched her nose and tried to rest her head back on my shoulder, mumbling something about wanting five more minutes. I laughed and put my arm around her shoulder. “Carm, you have to wake up, we need to get off the plane.” 

She shifted and buried her head into my shoulder. “That is okay, you are so comfy.” 

“Huh, that is a first, Carmilla Karnstein not eager to get off a plane.” I chortled and gave her a few more minutes, before carefully starting to stand. Carm mumbled about how tired she was, along with how “there better be a  _ really  _ comfortable bed at this hotel we are staying at, Cupcake. I am not messing around.” she began to rub her eyes. 

I laughed lightly and let her out of the plane and airport, into another taxi. She leaned her head on my shoulder and began snoring lightly before we even reached the hotel. I gently woke her up when we arrived, and we all hauled our things to our room. 

“Hey Carm, you can just head to bed and I can unpack and set the alarm for tomorrow.” I said as I unzipped my suitcase.”

She yawned deeply. “That is alright, Creampuff. I would rather we get unpacked together and fall asleep afterward.”

“Alrighty, sounds good.” I smiled at her as she rummaged messily through her suitcase. 

When we finally finished unpacking, and the alarm was set for tomorrow, we headed to bed. There was only one queen one, so we just got into our PJ’s and snuggled up together.

“I miss this.” Carmilla breathed into my ear.

“Missed what?” 

“This. The spending time together, and talking, and being there, and falling asleep in each other’s arms; just like when we were kids.”

I sighed sadly. “Yeah, I miss it too.” 

“I'm sorry I promised you I would never leave.” She scooted closer to me. “When we were kids, I promised you that, and I'm sorry; because I broke that promise.”

I rolled over and faced her. “You don't need to apologize for breaking that promise. I have been trying to look at things with a new perspective, and I’ve thought of something.” Carmilla gazed at me intensely. “Sometimes people aren't meant to be together all of the time. Some people grow apart, or have situations forced upon them, which cause those people to break apart. But I think it is all for a reason.”

“And what is our reason?”

I sighed thoughtfully. “I would have to say that we needed that time apart in order to find ourselves outside of each other. Think about it: we leaned on each other for everything, never figuring out anything for ourselves, always together. That is not bad, but I think us being apart allowed different sides of us to grow, which helped us become who we are today. Don't get me wrong, I  _ still  _ hurt from all the damage me moving away caused. But I am also dazed, and amazed at what we did during that time. You seem stronger, more passionate, and filled with so much drive. It makes me love you even more.” I paused and put my hand on her cheek. “It makes me love you so much that it actually hurts me. It is like there are these flames inside me that scorch and singe everything inside of me, consuming me, setting my soul on fire; all because of you. This used to hurt me, I felt so low that I figured my insides were black. But, since we met each other again, it is like that fire brings me to life. It animates the corpse I used to call me. So though I would prefer if we never parted, I think that it was for a reason. I'm just not quite sure what that reason is yet.”

My eyes were drooping dangerously at this point. I opened them a little bit wider and saw Carm was asleep.  _ Oh my bad, I’ll just let her get some sleep. She needs it, big day tomorrow. My eyes fluttered closed and I fell into a deep sleep, images of me and Carmilla during different points of our life swirling in my head. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soon <3


	29. Road to Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla go see William in the hospital. A phone call takes Laura for an interesting turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I felt like writing a new chapter for ya'll, inspiration smacked me over the head; so here I am. I hope you enjoy! It is always so fun to write for you guys <3

I closed my eyes tightly at Laura’s words:  _  It makes me love you even more.  _ What kind of love? Is it the love that I hope for in my heart of hearts? Or, is it the love that only best friends share? I pretended to sleep as she kept talking. I know that it seems a bit immature, and rude. But honestly, I didn’t know how to deal. I mean she is saying everything I could have wanted her to say to me since we became roommates. But, I don’t know, I guess I can’t face this right now. I will probably play this over and over in my head for a long time, and one day I will say to Laura what has been weighing on my heart, but until then, I will pretend to sleep. 

Feelings can be used as weapons, I learned this at a very young age thanks to Mother. She would take away things that I care about, she manipulated my feelings and thoughts even, saying that nobody loved me except for her, that nobody cared. It gets to a kid, those words. They slither in your head and burrow down into the very depths of your being. I fought against her words with all of my might, knowing full well that Laura, her dad, and William did in fact love me. My subconsciousness, however was still infected with Mother’s poisoned words. I am disappointed in myself for still being affected by someone I haven’t seen since I was a kid, but I am getting stronger every day. One day I will face these demons and stand tall against them. But for today, the only person I am going to be strong for it William; I can be tough for myself later. After that crazy stream of thoughts, I fell asleep with Laura spooning me (I’m not sure how, but Creampuff always seems to sense if I roll over and responds by scooting closer to me until I am a little spoon). 

(000)

I woke up with Carmilla wrapped in my arms.  _ How did this happen?  _ I thought sleepily. She shifted and snuggled closer to me. I chuckled lightly and stayed there until the alarm went off. Carm just rolled over and burrowed her head into my shoulder. “Cupcake, if that thing is not off in three seconds, it will be in pieces.” she growled sleepily. 

I laughed, “Carm, I can’t reach it if you keep laying on me.” She grumbled and rolled off of me while I rolled the other way to shut off the alarm. When I rolled onto my back, she went right back to sticking her face in my shoulder. I layed there with her for about fifteen minutes before deciding we better get up if we want to see her brother the second visitor hours start. 

“Before you say anything about being late, I know how long it takes for the both of us to get ready, and we can lay here for another ten minutes and still be to the hospital on time.” she mumbled.

“But Carm-”

“No, Laura cuddling is what we will be doing.” 

“We really should get up.” I started to lift my head.

“Oh no you don’t.” Carmilla said as she wrapped her arms and legs around me, locking me in place. “My best friend will lay here another ten minutes because she loves me.” 

“Okayyy,” I drawl, “but only because I love you.” 

She nodded her head smugly and released me from her monkey death grip.  

(000)

Much to my dismay, Carmilla was right, we did manage to get to the hospital right before visiting hours started. She shot me a smug look before it melted into a fearful face. She quickly covered it up, but I still saw. In response, I grabbed her hand. She shot me a grateful smile and we continued to the front desk and asked for Will’s room number. 

We navigated the maze of hallways until we reached William’s room and paused at the door. “You okay?” I questioned gently. 

“What? Yeah-oh, I’m just nervous I guess.” she paused, “No, that isn’t right, I’m deciding whether or not I’m going to cry and hug my big brother or smack the hell out of him for being so stupid.” 

“I can understand both of those reactions, but for now,” I put my hand on her shoulder and pulled her into a side hug, “we should probably go with option one.” 

Carm sighed and turned so that she could fully hug me. “Thanks Cupcake.” she whispered.

“Anytime Carm.” I smiled softly. 

(000)

I let go of Laura and took a deep breath, this is it. I opened the door and knocked lightly. “Hello?” 

“Hey Kitty.” I stepped into the room and saw my brother sitting up against his pillows. His ebony hair has grown out since I last saw him, and is starting to curl slightly. He looked really pale, especially with his dark hair. “Oh, and what a surprise; Midget?! What are you doing here? Not that I’m complaining haha, come here give me a hug, both of you!” 

I grabbed Laura’s hand and headed to my brother’s bedside. He sat up further and winced a little, waving me off as I started to fuss over him. 

“Kitty, give me a break, I’m fine. Just hug me.” I sighed and leaned down to hug him.

In his ear I whispered; “If you do this again, I will fly down here and kill you myself.” 

He shivered and pulled back a little to look me in the eyes; “Carmilla, I promise never to touch any type of drugs again, not even pot. I could have died, I’m not going to let that happen again. I want to grow old with a wife someday, and have kids, even grandkids. I can’t do that from jail or dead. I’m going into a rehabilitation program, and then I’m going to get my life together. No more fucking around, I promise.” 

“You better.” I growled. I’m still hella freaked out, but maybe I can see if Laura can stalk his progress in the program, that journalism degree she’s working on should help with that, right? Speaking of; “William, you remember Creampuff.” I stepped back and gestured Laura forward. 

“Hey Will.” she smiled shyly and hugged him. 

“Hey Squirt, it is good to see you.” he smiled easily at the both of us. 

We sat and talked for a while until a nurse came in to check on my brother. “Good morning, William. How are you feeling this morning?” she questioned as she started taking his pulse. 

“I’m feeling a lot better, finally stopped throwing up.” 

“I’m glad to hear that, but make sure you drink lots of water. It also looks like your vital signs are stable and within normal range.” 

“Thanks doc. Oh, this is my sister, Carmilla, and her girlfriend, Laura.” 

The nurse went up to me and shook my hand while Laura stuttered about us not dating. “It is lovely to meet you.” I said while gently kicking Laura in the shin to shut her up.

“It is nice to meet you as well. You will see more of me, I’ll be checking up on your brother. But, if he keeps doing as well as he is, he won’t need to stay here much longer.”

“That is wonderful news, thank you.” 

The nurse walked out and we continued to catch up. William kept saying things indicating he thought Laura and I were dating (I think to get Laura flustered, honestly) which had Laura correcting him every other sentence. I was  _ not  _ appreciating our lack of relationship being rubbed in my face and ended up smacking my brother upside the head and telling him to shut up. That worked quite nicely. 

“So, how was California? Any hot babes?” he asked Laura as he put his hands on his head and leaned back.

Laura looked at me and then shrugged, “Meh.” 

“Meh, that is all I get? Lameeee.” he whined. 

“Go there yourself and se-” she was cut off by the shrill ringing of her phone. She looked down and her eyes widened. “Excuse me, I have to take this.” She rushed out of the room with her head ducked low. 

“What was that all about?” Will questioned. 

“Hell if I know.” I propped up my booted feet on his bed. 

“Let’s get down to it; why the hell is that girl not your girlfriend?”

I sighed and looked at my brother seriously. “A lot of reasons I guess. At first we were so hurt and mad at each other that we couldn’t even speak. Now we are back to best friends just about, but she has a girlfriend, and so do I.”

“Well this girlfriend, what is she like?” 

“Nice.” I replied.

“That’s it? Just nice? You can do better than that. In fact, better than that is standing right outside this room.”

“I know, but I feel bad, I mean wouldn’t I have been stringing her along?” 

“Kitty, don’t you think that is what you are doing. You are head over heels for another girl, she doesn’t deserve someone not as committed to the relationship as her and you know it.”

“Ugh, you’re right.” I groaned.

“Break up with that girl when you get home, there is no point in leading her on. Then, I want you to go after the girl you love. Kitty, I know you are still fucked up about her moving away, but you have a second chance, and damn if you don’t take it- I don’t know- you’ll be miserable.”

“I’ll take my second chance as long as you take yours.” 

He spit on his hand and held it out. I rolled my eyes and did the same. We shook hands and I squirmed at the grossness of it all. “Deal.” he stated with finality. 

It was a little while until Laura came back in. When she did, she had two muffins and coffees balanced precariously in her hands, her tongue poking out from between her lips. I laughed and helped her carry things, thanking her for the food and coffee. She smiled and nibbled on her food. I wonder what happened with that call.

(000)

I closed the door behind me and answered the phone. “Elsie, hi-”

“Don’t fucking ‘hi’ me Hollis, what the fuck are you doing in America with your slutty-ass roomate. You didn’t even tell me you were leaving the country. I am your fucking  _ girlfriend,  _ aren’t you supposed to tell people when you are leaving the country when you are dating them?!” 

“Els, I’m sorry, it all happened so fast-”

“Don’t even, with the excuses! You have been gone for a whole day and not thought to call me and tell me what is going on? You know what, fuck you. Every since going to Silas University and being roomed with that goth freak, I don’t even know you anymore.” 

I walked outside as quickly as I could before responding. “First off, I am truly sorry for not telling you.” I cut off the beginning of her sentence, “But if you  _ ever  _ call Carmilla any rude names again, we won’t be together. She is my best friend, she deserves respect. And right now she needs help, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but she doesn’t deserve that treatment.” 

“You know what, if you are going to threaten to break up with me, why don’t we just stop. You’re not kidding anybody, you love Morticia. So go, fucking be with her!” the phone clicked off, ending the call. 

I took a deep breath and thought back on what just happened. A lot to process.  _ We have been drifting apart for a while, and it was very hurtful that she didn’t trust me with Carm; I haven’t tried anything, and neither did she. Maybe this is best. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I need a break.   _ I whirled around and went in search of sugary muffins and coffee: cure-all. Or so I hoped.

(000)

After visiting hours were over, Laura and I went out to dinner. We talked mostly about Will’s recovery. We both seemed to be avoiding something. I was thinking about how I was going to tell Laura that I still love her, and not have her freak out. I’m not sure what is up with Laura. She will tell me when she is ready, that is always how we have been. 

After dinner we went home and slipped into pajamas, crawled under the covers, turned on the TV, and fell asleep in each other’s arms. 


	30. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm finds out why Laura is sad. Carm remembers some things about her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am so excited to share another chapter with you! I wanted to thank my awesome editor, Archive of Our Own member: Me. You are the bomb diggity bro! I hope you all enjoy, it was super fun to write! Love you guys!

Walking through the corridor by myself gave me some time to reflect on what has happened these past few days. William was released from the hospital finally. He enrolled for a rehabilitation center today, I was coming with him for support (and honestly, to see if he was as committed to stopping as he said he was). Laura stayed behind and said this was something for my family, which I understand. She has been acting a bit strange recently, not like bad, just sad about something, and very thoughtful. I knew that she came here to help take care of me, but I figured that maybe her coming was something that was supposed to help the both of us. Following that train of thought, I had purchased some good old American pie and some broccoli cheddar soup; one of her favorite comfort foods.

    I carefully balanced the food on one hand, while with the other one I slid my keycard into the door and pushed it open. “Cupcake, I got you some- hey, why are you crying? What happened?”

    I set down the food and went to sit next to Laura on the bed. She sat there with her hair blocking off any view of her face, but I didn’t need to see her face to know that she was crying. “Do you want to talk about it? Is this what upset you our first day here?”

    Laura sniffled and rubbed angrily at her eyes. “It was more than just that day.”

    Having no idea what she was talking about, I scooted closer and put my arm around her. I didn’t need to say anything, she will talk when she feels the need to.

    “Elsie broke up with me.” Those five words shatter the silence that was engulfing us. “She said we were done because I didn’t tell her I was going to America. She got jealous and petty and she broke up with me.”

    “Woah, Cupcake, how are you doing?” _Real intelligent, Karnstein._ I thought annoyed to myself.

Laura sniffed, “It is just ridiculous that she picked that as the excuse to break up with me.”

I looked at her confused? “What do you mean excuse?”

“Carm, you’re joking right?” I shook my head. “She’s jealous of you!” Laura exclaimed.

“Why the hell would she be jealous of me? We didn’t do anything, we would never.” I asked gently.

“She does have a reason, how don’t you see it?” she huffed and sniffled quietly.

“And what is that, Cupcake?”

She turned to me and spoke softly; “Because you have me.”

My eyebrow arched. “You do. You just don’t see it, because you didn’t see me before. “

“Before what?”

“Before we saw each other. Not even made up, just saw each other.” she sighed and layed back on the bed.  

“That first day that we saw each other, when we started arguing until Elsie knocked on the door asking for me; you had me. I spent the whole rest of the night crying into Elsie’s arms. She kept asking why until I told her about you. She just sat there, while I talked about some lost love. After that, she hugged me and left. I just sat there so confused. But not about why my girlfriend didn’t try to stay the night like she had planned. No, I sat there confused about why you looked so hurt when I told you I didn’t want to talk to you or see you.”

“Laur, what is making you say all this now? You definitely were not acting like this.”

She sighed. “It was a lot of things, that affected my decision. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Thinking, and remembering. And you know what I realized?” I shook my head and waited for her response. “I realized that I had some good times with Elsie, but she was insecure, which created a lot of issues between us. You aren’t the first person she had been jealous of, she would freak out when I hung out with anyone.”

My eyes slitted in anger as I thought of Laura, not allowed to have any other friends because her girlfriend doesn’t trust her. “People aren’t possessions.” I growled under my breath. I scooted right in front of Laura and gently guided her face to look up at me. “You don’t belong to anyone, Laur. You are your own person, and it was wrong of Elsie to act like she owned you. She should have trusted you, because you are a good, trustworthy person who doesn’t deserve someone treating you like that.”

“I know. I guess I was just so desperate to have someone like me, and at the time, she seemed like the only one.”  

My heart lanced with pain as those words reached my ears. “Laura, I know that I am a very big, if not the only, part of you feeling like that, and I want to apologize. I know that it doesn’t make anything better, and that kills me. But I want you to know, that I will never make you feel like that again.” teardrops riveted down Laura’s face. “Even if you move half-way across the world, I swear I will answer all of your calls. I will come visit if I can. Hell, I might even move there. You know why?” she shook her head as I pulled her close to me in a tight hug. “Because you are not only my best friend, you are my soulmate, my other half. I love you so much, and I never want you to live through that again.”

(000)

    “...you are my soulmate, my other half. I love you so much, and I never want you to live through that again.” Carmilla spoke softly into my hair as I nestled my head into the crook of her shoulder.

    I can tell she cares about me, even loves me; we are best friends of course. I love her too. That’s how any relationship should be, romantic, or otherwise. We build off each other, encourage love and moving forward. It was wrong of Elsie to stunt my growth like that, I deserve more than someone who was so insecure about me loving them. I loved Elsie, I really did. She was sweet, kind, compassionate. But, I don’t think she loved me; part of love is trust, and she has never trusted me. It hurt, like being stabbed in the chest, but maybe it was good that Elsie and I broke up. I am a good person, I am trustworthy, and I will find someone to be with who knows that. And I know that my best friend is going to be there the whole time, no leaving, on either of our parts. We will stick together through thick and thin, that is what best friends do.

(000)

    We packed all of our things that night. We are not allowed to see Will during the early stages of his rehab. Laura already said goodbye to him the day before. After packing we curled up in the bed together. We were mostly silent; thinking. I’m not sure what Laura is thinking about, she seems a lot less sad now; more accepting. I waited until Laura was asleep to sneak out of bed and grab my astronomy book from the middle pocket of my suitcase (I bring it everywhere, what can I say) and pad silently into the bathroom. After closing the door behind me, I flipped on the light and opened the book.

For a while I reread the words messily scrawled throughout the pages, until I found the page I was looking for. It was the weekend before Laura and my first kiss:

_Creampuff has been acting really strange lately, I wonder if there is another girl. Or worse, she got back together with the red headed giant. I don’t think I can handle that giantess acting like she owns Cupcake, she doesn’t. Maybe something else? Maybe I should invite her over to watch a movie._

    After reading that, I scanned the page for what I wrote about the day Laura came over.

    _Well I know why Cupcake was acting so unusual: she was thinking about dating_

_someone. That someone was me! We kissed. It was amazing, I don’t even know how to_

_put it down in words. She asked me if I ever thought about us being a couple, I just kissed_

_her, but I have been. You know of course, I have been writing about it in you. The thing_

_is, I don’t know when it really hit me. I’ve read and reread everything I wrote in this_

_book, and nothing. What do you think that means?_

I stared at the question scribbled on the side of the page thinking hard. What does it mean? I love Laura, I have since talking to her in that stupid janitor’s closet. But that is the love of friends, the love that is so natural I never even thought of feeling any other way about her. When did it become more, though? Honestly I can’t think of one single moment. I scanned over the entrees I wrote as a teenager, ranting about how stupid the giantess looked. _Do I really need a moment? Do I really need one point in time to prove that I love her? To prove that I fell in love with my best friend?_ I picked up the pen I had set on the ground when I came in. Setting it to the paper I began to write:

_I realized something, sitting on this bathroom floor,_

_Rereading the entries of a child, leaning against the door._

_I fell in love with my best friend,_

_And broke her heart when I ran away from what I thought was our end._

_Though there was all of this hurt, the love never went away,_

_And I’m holding onto the hope that we could be together another day._

_I’m going to give my heart to her, well I guess I already did._

_In that case, I will win her heart, and all of her pain I will rid._

_Wish me luck as I move forward, I will need it I know._

_Off to mend her heart, that is where I will go._

Don’t ask me where the poetry came from, I have no answer. I set down the pen and kept flipping through old entries. Laughing at all the goofy things Laura and I did when we were younger.

My favorite memory is during Christmas one year, it was before we were taken away from Mother. I thought back to it: _I was staying at Laura’s, watching BBC specials with her and her dad. I still don’t get her obsession with anything BBC, but I find it adorable. Anyway, her dad ended up going to bed before us. Laura looked over at me with this mischievous grin and rubbed her hands together._

_I quirked an eyebrow and waited to hear whatever she was going to say. “Carm we should play the XBOX dad got for Christmas.” she whispered. I grinned maniacally at her and started setting it up. I grabbed a game that I couldn’t wait to play:_ Zombies R Us. _“Seriously? don’t you just kill a bunch of things? Should we be doing that on Christmas?”_

_I laughed. “Trust me Cupcake, this is going to be awesome.”_

_She rolled her eyes and looked at me skeptically, but she still put the CD in. We played for a while, and I could tell she was having a lot of fun, that was until we reached a little girl crying in the corner of this building. Laura’s character started walking towards her and I told her to stop, warning her that it could be a zombie and we should kill it._

_Laura paused the game and set down the controller, staring me down with the most serious look. “That is a little girl Carm, not a zombie, that is murder. It’s Christmas. You don’t murder people for Christmas.”_

_“A holiday where you can’t kill people is a stupid holiday” I huffed exaggeratedly. I knew it was a trick, and she really was a zombie._

_“No, it is bad always.” Laura huffed before unpausing the game. I decided to let her figure it out on her own._

_Her character approached the little girl and she got about three feet away, the little girl jumped up and started attacking her. Laura legitimately started screaming and mashing buttons on her controller. “Haha. Yep. Okay. CARMILLA?!”_

_“Oh, really? Because I wouldn’t want to ruin your holiday fun…” I jested as I picked up my controller._

_“Evil Christmas zombie trying to eat me here!” her character was running in circles with the zombie girl chasing her around the building._

_“...you know with all my inappropriate little girl attacking, and murdering people for Christmas-” I aimed the bat at the zombie girl but didn’t move._

_“MURDER HER FOR CHRISTMAS! MURDER HER FOR CHRISTMAS!” Laura screamed as she mashed buttons on her controller._

Woah, she gets really into video games. _I thought with a chuckle. I let out a resigned sigh and went after the little girl zombie. The sounds of growling and crunching filled the living room as I slayed her._

_“WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON DOWN HERE?!” exclaimed Papa Hollis as he hobbled down the stairs, rubbing sleep from his eyes._

_Laura and I both dropped our controllers and stood up. “Uh, we were just, uh-” Laura looked at me, I just stayed silent thinking I was going to have to go home. Which would wake up Mother, not good at all._

_He looked around and saw the controllers on the ground, the television screen paused with my character mid swing, and busted out laughing. “You two should not be playing this in the middle of the night.” he wheezed. “Laura gets way too into these types of games, as you must have noticed, Carmilla.” Laura turned bright red. “Why don’t you two save this game and pick it up in the morning?” he continued laughing as he started to ascend up the stairs. “Good night ladies, Merry Christmas.”_

_I slumped when he disappeared from sight. Laura was still red, so I walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Creampuff.”_

_She laughed at her nickname and gave me a hug. “Merry Christmas, Carm.”_

_We cleaned up the xbox stuff and headed to her room. Once we were both settled into her bed I rolled over and faced her. “Thanks for today, Cupcake.” I whispered. “It was the best Christmas ever.”_

_My words were met with soft snoring. I chuckled and fell asleep with the biggest grin on my face._

I stared at the only words I wrote in that book to remember that story: _MURDER HER FOR CHRISTMAS!_ and laughed, she can be such a dork. My eyes started drooping, so I decided to head to bed for real this time. I crept out of the bathroom, put my book and pen away, and crawled under the covers. Sleep took me soon enough, and dreams of good memories lost drifted through my mind.


	31. It's All Fun and Games...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura come back from their trip. Carm decides to mess with Laura, will it work out in her favor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Sorry it took so long, I have been really busy with work and moving! Tell me what you thought of the Carmilla movie!!! I heard both good and bad reviews. I have a new chapter for you all, I hope you like it! <3 Thank you all for the support <3 <3 <3  
> I also want to give a big shout out to my editor archive of our own member "me"!! Thank you so much bro!

“Carm, unpacking is not just throwing everything from your suitcase onto the floor!” Laura groaned as she started picking up my clothes.

    I propped my feet up onto my bed and continued reading through my philosophy text book. “I believe the definition of the word unpack is to open and remove the contents of a suitcase. If that is correct, and it is, I followed the exact definition of unpacking.”

    Laura huffed and started piling the clothing from the floor onto my bed. “Don’t get smart with me Karnstein, pick up your clothes.” under her breath she said; “I don’t know how one person could be so messy.” she raised her voice as she neared our “kitchen area”: “And what is with all of these dishes? We have a sink to wash them in, you know.”

    I chuckled and crossed my feet, smirking into my book. “You are so adorable when you are angry, Buttercup.” I laughed as she grunted angrily at that nickname (she hates it, which is why I only use it to annoy her further, mwahaha). “Hey what was that for!” I exclaimed just after a dirty shirt blocked my vision.

    Laura giggled and then tried to contort her facial expression into a serious one. “Carm, I’m going to class, and when I get back, I want this room clean.”

    “Whatever you say, Cutie.” I smiled sweetly at her.

She narrowed her eyes before grabbing her backpack and kissing me on the forehead. “Don’t be a butt, Karnstein. Please do it.”

I sat up and uncrossed my legs. “As you wish.” She rolled her eyes at the _Princess Bride_ quote and headed outside, waving goodbye.

I stood up and hooked my phone up to the speaker sitting on the small counter in the corner of our dorm room, then I started blasting what Laura calls my “angry person music”. I cleaned up my mess and even vacuumed while headbanging the entire time. When I was finished I looked at the clock. _Perfect timing_ I thought to myself, _Gingersnap should be out of class by now._ I didn’t have class today, hence me having enough time to clean and visit the mad scientist. It also allowed me enough time to think of how I want to ask Laura out (when she is ready to date again, that is. I know that is going to be a long way off. Doesn't mean I can't plan for it though).

I  meandered to our lovely neighborhood experimenter's dorm room and knocked on the door. I was beyond startled when Curly Sue answered the door, looking tousled and slightly flushed. “Carmilla, what a surprise!”

Laf came up behind her, looking sheepish. “Hey Vampira, what brings you to this side of town?” they said panting slightly.

“Uhh, erm.” I coughed awkwardly. “I can come back later.” I turned quickly and started to speed walk away. A hand on my shoulder stopped me.

I turned around to face Perry, “No, that is quite alright. We are free right now.” She looked at Laf sternly as they began to sigh.

They stopped and leaned up against the door jam; “Yeah, all free here.” I shrugged and walked past them into their room. “Yes, please come in.” Laf muttered under their breath. I smiled sweetly and sat on their desk chair (not sure if the bed was safe to sit on). Perry sat on the bed with Laf and grabbed their hand.

“What did you need Carmilla?” Curly sue asked in her brisk, slightly formal way. “Oh, I heard your brother was in the hospital, is he alright?”

I sighed and explained what happened with William. “He is in rehab now, but that isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.” I said after concluding my story. Laf quirked a brow and waited for me to state the reason I came. Perry looked like she wanted to console me but was worried about getting her hand ripped off (it would have, good call). “I want to get back together with Laura.”

Laf smiled triumphantly, “Finally, you come to your senses.” Perry even smiled. “So how are you going to do it? Wait, what about her girlfriend? I think that factor might make it difficult for a good outcome.” Laf said with their hand stroking thoughtfully at their chin.

Gingersnap coughed politely, “Don’t you have a girlfriend as well?” she asked quietly.

I shifted in my seat, scenarios running through my mind about how I could ask out Laura. I realized what they said after a minute and told them about Laura and Elsie breaking up. “I also broke up with my girlfriend right after I got back. I promise I was nice,” I looked right at Perry before she could scold me for being rude (she always assumes that of me, I don’t know why), “I told her that she was wonderful and would find somebody, I just wasn’t the right person for her. She took it pretty well, I guess I was a fling for her.”

Perry nodded thoughtfully. “Well, at least you were kind.” Lafontaine laughed and I crossed my arms, annoyed. “Anywho, how were you thinking of asking Lara out?”

I launched into detail, both of them were nodding thoughtfully and helping me brainstorm ideas to make this work. When we were finished I sat back in my chair happily. “This is going to be good.”

Laf rolled their eyes. “Always so cocky.” They commented.

“Psh, I just know what I want and apply myself.” I grumbled under my breath.

Perry smiled. “So, what is Curly Sue doing here?” I asked bluntly.

Laf smiled widely. “We made up. She couldn’t come this break because she was getting everything ready to transfer here.”

I looked at her eyes wide. She smiled, “Yep, I’m officially a student here.” They started looking at each other like they were stripping off each other’s clothes. _This is about to get real awkward,_ I thought uncomfortably.

“Well, I had better go. I’ll leave you two to get _acquainted_ . I stood up and smirked as their faces turned red. Perry showed me out. I took a deep breath as I escaped. I walked down the hall smiling widely. _This has to be good,_ I thought happily as plans danced in my head.

(000)

    It has been weeks since seeing Carmilla’s brother. It has been so nice hanging out with most of the group from high school, I forgot how cool Perry was. Carmilla and I have most definitely gotten closer. We spend most of our off time together, even if it is just doing homework side by side.

    I stared at my psychology project (finally finished), scrutinizing it for issues. Carmilla had her arm wrapped around my waist as she read a very large book for fun (of course she would read a book the size of my torso for fun).

I turned towards her. She sighed “Are you going to keep staring, Cutie, or are you going to ask your question?”

I stuttered awkwardly at being caught staring. She smirked. I was actually just observing how her hair waterfalls across her face when she reads, framing it perfectly. But I couldn’t say that. “Just wondering why,” I galnced at the title of the book, it was written in a foreign language, “you have such an interest in ancient books. I mean, how can you read those?”

She chuckled lightly and turned a page. “I have studied many languages since I was little, at first because Mother made me, but I found comfort in it as I grew up.”

I smiled. “Nerd.” I said playfully.

“It’s geek, cupcake.” she turned the page.

“What is it about?” I asked.

She closed the book and leaned up against me, putting her head on my shoulder. I tried to contain my shivers. “It’s a book of ancient weapons and spells that are hidden all over the world. The particular chapter I was on was talking about an ancient sword that can kill anything, demon, god; but it has a terrible price.”

“And what is that?”

“The life of whomever wields it.”

“That sounds like an unrealistic book.” I murmured.

Carm laughed and snuggled closer, my stomach fluttered. “I dreamt about that sword once, back when we were teenagers, before we dated.” Her voice sounded weighed down by sleep.

“I didn’t know that.” there was no reply, only the sound of slow, even breathing. She was asleep. I read through my project one last time, not being able to concentrate. I finally set my paper down and carefully picked up Carm’s book, flipping through the pages until I came to the page she was reading.

There sat a picture of a sword surrounded with scribbles of a language unknown. It did look kind of familiar…

(000)

“You know what we should do?” Perry said briskly, “We should go to that Anglerfish club you all were yammering about.” she shifted awkwardly. “I have yet to go there and ‘get it on.’” she hand quoted.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. Laf nodded quickly. “That is a great idea sweetheart.” Perry beamed and they kissed.

Carmilla groaned. “If I wanted to see you two awkwardly make out,” she paused for a beat, “Oh wait, I don’t.” They stopped kissing and just held hands.

“Carm, don’t be rude.” I slapped her arm lightly. She grinned and grabbed my hand. Butterflies danced in my stomach. I swallowed them down and spoke; “That is a wonderful idea, Perry. We should have taken you sooner. What do you think Carm?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Whatever you want, Cutie.” my cheeks heated up. “So it’s a plan then.”

“How about tonight?” Perry asked.

“Sounds good to me.” Laf said.

“Whatever.” Carm muttered.

“I’m so excited!” I squealed.

(000)

I wiped my hands on my jeans nervously and briskly walked back to my room. As I neared the door, I turned my frantic walk into my patent swagger. I don’t know why I was nervous about tonight, we weren’t really doing anything special. Perhaps it was the fact that I know Laura likes to dress up in heart-stopping outfits when we go out. Perhaps also that alcohol lowers my walls, and I don’t think I can afford that yet. I might do something that screws things up with Laura.

I stepped inside and stopped dead as I saw Laura wearing only her underwear, going through dresses in her closet. My heart started doing somersaults in my chest, my pulse pounding in my ear as I just stared. _Stop. Staring._ My brain screamed at me. I blinked and turned to go out the door, she must have  heard me though because I hear her call my name from her closet.

She turns around as I step in and close the door behind me. “Do you like this dress,” she held up a tight looking black dress, “or this one?” in her other hand was a silver dress with silver and gold swirls running through it.

I was staring very hard at the dresses (so that my eyes wouldn’t wonder). “I like the black one.”

She laughed, “Of course you do.”

Still keeping a death stare on the dresses, I smiled sheepishly moving my gaze to the ground, I moved to the my bed.

“You better start getting ready” Laura said as she slipped on the black dress. I smirked inwardly as I saw she chose it.

“I will Cutie.” I stood up and searched through my closet. I picked out one of my favorite black and red corsets and a pair of black leather skin-tight jeans. I started stripping off my clothes in the room. I did it rather slowly thinking happily to myself: _two can play at this game_.

After I finished slipping out of my clothes, Laura started talking. “Okay, what do you think? I think it might be too ti-” her sentence came to a dead halt as I turned around to look at her in the dress.

I carefully controlled my breathing and facial expressions, so she didn’t know how she was affecting me in that dress. “You look good Cupcake.” I smirked at her easily as my heart rushed in my ears. I quirked a brow (I love messing with Laura) “See something you like, Cutie?”

She turned red and stuttered. “No, uh. I mean- I mean you look great. I just, uh, remembered I have a doctor’s appointment next week.”

I laughed lightly (what kind of excuse is that for staring? Perhaps I should push it a bit father). “Brushing up on your anatomy beforehand? I’m sure I could find a way to help with that.” I turned away and bent down to slide on my pants. I did it slowly, and seductively, a smirk making its way across my face. I could hear her breathing change. I looked over my shoulder and smiled inside as she was staring at me, then noticed my gaze and looked away. _Oh this is beyond fun_. I thought happily.

“I going to-erm- fix my makeup in the bathroom. Give me fifteen.” She turned and scuttled away as fast as she could. I laughed lowly under my breath. I can’t help myself when it comes to messing with Laura, what can I say?

(000)

    I stood in the bathroom, the door closed safely behind me. _Woah._ I thought dazedly. _Carmilla is- just woah._ My stupid gay brain couldn’t think anything past that. Mostly all it could do at the moment was replay Carmilla undressed over and over. _Stop stop stop. Pull yourself together Hollis!_ I thought determinedly.

    I focused very hard on my reflection and the makeup I was applying. I think Carm was messing with me. Nobody can be that sexy without trying, right? So I’m going to do my makeup so flawlessly and wear those black pumps that make my butt look even better in this dress. _Two can play at this game_.  

    I smiled triumphantly as I regarded my makeup. My best work if I must say so myself. “Hurry up Cupcake, we are going to be late!” Carmilla said as she knocked on the bathroom door. “The Ginger Twins are going to be here any minute.” Conveniently a knock on the dormroom door resounded through our room. “Speaking of.” Carm huffed through the door.

    Just go wait with them in the hall, I’m almost done. Will be out in a minute.” I said loudly.

    She groaned quietly, “girls” before I heard the door close. I peeked out the door and then bolted to my closet to grab those heels. It took me a minute to figure out how to strap them on properly (what they are confusing!?). Finally, I managed to get them on. I stood up and started towards the door. _This is going to be good._ I thought happily.

(000)

    “This is taking too long.” I grumbled as I walked towards my room. I was going to drag Laua out of there. Who takes this long to get ready?

    “Woah, calm down there, thunder. Give the girl a minute.” Laf said as they took my arm.

    I gave the offending hand a death stare until they stopped touching me. “Fine, but only two minutes more.” I was too busy angrily staring at my phone to notice the door to my dorm open.

    “Oh, you look wonderful dear!” Perry exclaimed excitedly while clapping her hands. Her poofy red dress bobbing up and down with each movement. I was kind of scared to look now. I think Lara caught onto my game. Perhaps not though.

I looked at Laf for guidance (don’t ask me why, I guess to give me a couple of seconds of a normal heart rate). Their eyes were wide open as they stared. They adjusted the sleeves on their button up awkwardly. “Yeah, you look good Frosh.”

“What do you think Carm?” Laura asked sweetly. _Yep, she caught on._ I thought. I had the strange feeling she was about to win, no matter how flawless my eyeliner is right now. I slowly looked up and my jaw fell. She looked beyond amazing, I don’t even know how to explain. That black dress looked beautiful on her, it hugged her in all the right places, which of course were accentuated by those black pumps with straps running up her ankles. Her makeup was done perfectly; her eyes were the perfect amount of smoky, and that lipstick. I stared silently until I was jabbed in the ribs, bringing me back to reality. “Looks nice Cupcake.” I shrugged nonchalantly. _Keep yourself together Karnstein_.

Gingersnap finally broke the silence. “We should get going, the club is going to be packed soon.”

Laf cleared their throat (even they could feel the tension between Laura and me right now). “Yeah, good idea Per.”

We all started walking, pairing off somewhere on the way. My arm brushed against Laura’s and I shivered. Laura raised her eyebrows, “You cold?” she smirked slightly.

I huffed (she will _not_ win this game).  “Yeah, you think I would have learned to think ahead and bring a jacket, especially in the dead winter of Austria.”

Laura chuckled and put her arm around me. _Not helping_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe


	32. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game continues, but maybe it goes too far?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I have another chapter posted for you! It is a bit longer than usual so I hope you enjoy. Merry belated Christmas! Thank you so much to Achieves member Me for helping so much! I love ya bro :)

We finally got into The Anglerfish! The first thing I did was grab Carm’s hand and rush off to the bar. I don’t think she quite appreciated my enthusiasm, but she still went along with me. I ordered us two shots each, and then ordered two more. 

“Woah, you better slow down Cupcake, don’t you have class tomorrow?” Carmilla said after watching me down my fourth drink.

“Naw, it was cancelled due to the professor. He said he had some personal matters to attend to.” I slurred slightly. “Can I get another four over here?” I asked the bartender and gestured to our empty glasses. 

“You are going to kill us both tonight at this rate.” she said before downing another shot. 

“For someone complaining so much, you are still drinking everything.” I said with a smirk. 

She just huffed and stood up. “Let’s dance.” she held out her hand. A random flashback of her saying the same thing to me so many years ago. 

_ “I hate school dances.” growled Carmilla. “It’s an excuse for a bunch of horny simpletons to make complete fools out of themselves. I mean look at that couple, they look like they are in heat.” the couple she gestured to were making out passionately. “Where did the elegance and grace go when it came to dances? When the lightest touch of the hand was one of the most sincere of actions.”  _

_ I laughed lightly and traced patterns on Carm’s open palm. “Maybe no matter how you dance, it won’t have the same amount of beauty or sincerity unless the partners share a true love and understanding of one another. And all the other attempts at imitating it, fail; making it look worse than it is.”  _

_ Carmilla looked at me thoughtfully.  _

_ “You two do know that this is a  _ middle school  _ dance right? Why can’t you guys just be normal and dance like the rest of us?” Danny said from behind us.  _

_ Carm scowled. “The uncoordinated flailing you call dancing, is insulting that is why.” At that moment the song “Such Great Heights” came on. She stood up quickly and held out her hand. “Let’s dance.”  _

_ I giggled and took her hand. She pulled me close; face to face, chest to chest. I smiled widely as we began waltzing. We twirled effortlessly, in perfect synchronization. All I could see was Carmilla, and all she could see was me. I shivered under her touch. She dipped me down when the song ended, and I just stared into her eyes for a couple of seconds.  _

_ A bout of clapping startled me out of my reverie. Carm righted me and I looked around, seeing a group of kids and teachers in a loose circle around us. “That was excellent dancing! Where did you two learn how to Waltz? That must have taken a lot of practice!” one of my teachers cheered.  _

_ I smiled and awkwardly bowed, yanking Carmilla’s hand down so she did too. She didn’t say anything, I’m pretty sure she forgot where we were and was now just very uncomfortable. I pulled her with me parting the crowd so we could get out. I guided her to the door to get some fresh air. “Hey, this is getting lame; do you want to go get some ice cream and then look at the stars on the trampoline in my backyard?”  _

_ Her vacant expression disappeared, and was replaced by a huge grin. “Sounds perfect Creampuff.”  _

I blinked away wisps of old memories and stood up, taking Carmilla’s hand. I don’t think we will be waltzing tonight, especially from the way her hips are swaying.

(000)

After a few songs Laura and I headed back to the bar for a few more drinks. I spotted this blonde tramp eying Laura from the dance floor and gave her a death glare, Creampuff deserves more than a one night stand. The blonde just gave me a dirty look and turned away. 

“What are you staring at Carm?” 

Looking around for an excuse, I spotted Perry and Lafontaine; “The ginger twins’ pathetic attempt at dancing.” 

She looked over and laughed when she saw Laf doing the robot and Perry doing the shopping cart move. “It doesn't even go with the beat of the music.” 

I chuckled. “Oh, now that is just a slam to society.” They were now both doing the macarena. 

Laura did a face palm and doubled over laughing (okay it wasn’t that funny, maybe we should slow down on the drinks). 

“Barkeep,) she giggled at the title, “I’ve never said that before, how funny. -Anywho, could we have two more?” 

He nodded. “Maybe we should slow down a bit Cupcake.” 

She chuckled and downed her next drink. “Is the great Carmilla Karnstein, perhaps, scared?” 

My right eyebrow shot up on its own accord. Karnsteins never back down from a challenge. “Four more please.” I said to the bartender while he was pouring my current shot. 

Laura’s eyebrows popped up. “Impressive.” 

I smirked with satisfaction. “Let’s see how you do with that.” 

She straightened her shoulders and downed the shots in quick succession. I sat up and did the same. “Now it’s time to dance.” 

We were dancing to the rhythmic beats pounding through our bodies when I spotted that blonde from earlier at the bar. She was staring at Laura, who was oblivioulsy moving to the music with her eyes closed. She actually was really hot when she danced. Not that I was going to tell her that now. 

The blonde suddenly moved in closer to Laura and was trying to get her attention. Creampuff just kept dancing, looking at me whenever she opened her eyes. Blondie moved in even closer to Laura and even started grinding on her. My vision turned red around the rims as I watched  _ my  _ Cupcake just allow this stanger get that close to her.

I took a step in Laura and said over the music: “Hey, you want another drink?” 

She just smiled devilishly, “I thought you wanted to slow down on the drinking.” 

I rolled my eyes angrily.  _ Fine. “ _ I’m going to get another drink.” Maybe this game was a bad idea. Laura followed and  ordered another shot. We ended up leaving a bit after. On the way to the dorms Laura insisted on stopping to take off her heels. At that moment all I wanted to do was kiss her, only she would do such a thing. She told me one of the Bobsey Twins was worried about us. I told her to wait on a response because it was funny to watch their freaked out texts. She laughed and responded a bit later. Damn I think I love that girl. 

(000)

I was dancing happily (and slightly, okay  _ really _ drunkenly) to the music thumping through the speakers; Carmilla doing the same across from me. This blonde girl came out of nowhere and started dancing close to me. Carm was eyeing her, but I was too lost in the music to notice much. All I cared about at the moment was winning the game with the lovely brunette across from me. I sashayed my hips and danced freely to the bass vibrating the floor. The blonde had moved even closer to me now, so close I could feel her body heat. She finally caught my attention as she started grinding on me. I kept dancing (maybe it would make Carm jealous). The girl took it as a sign I was interested, because she started dancing even closer. 

Carm’s eyes narrowed as she witnessed this scene. She stepped a little closer and yelled; “Hey, you want another drink?” 

I smirked “I thought you wanted to slow down on the drinking.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I’m going to get another drink.”  _ Whoops, I didn’t mean for this to make her mad.  _ I walked away from the girl and followed Carmilla to the bar. “One shot.” she growled at the bartender.

“Make that two.” I said as I sauntered over the the counter. The brunette rolled her eyes and handed me a shot.  _ Yeah she is not happy.  _ “Should I get another for the blonde following you around like a puppy dog?” she snarled. 

I looked behind me to see the blonde standing a little ways away looking at me confused. I shrugged “Meh, she’s not my type.” 

Carm quirked a brow “And what would that be?” 

I smiled “Wouldn’t you like to know.” The shots arrived and my grin grew wider. “Bottoms up.” We clinked our glasses together and downed them. I will admit I was completely drunk by the time we walked out of the bar laughing. 

“Thish was nice.” I slurred at Carm. 

She chuckled and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “It was, cupcake.” 

I nuzzled my head into her shoulder, the game forgotten. For a second she stiffened, then she relaxed and pulled me closer. After a while walking I groaned and stopped, sitting on the ground. “Walking sucks in heels.” I complained as I started taking them off. 

“It’s freezing, are you sure that is a good idea?” 

I ignored her and took them off. Standing up I started to sway, too fast. She grabbed onto me, now even taller than me than she usually was. “It was a good idea” I said happily as we started walking again. She shook her head and then stopped to take off her own shoes. I smiled contentedly as we continued on our way. 

We finally reached the dorms, at that very moment my phone blew up. Perry was texting me repeatedly asking where we were, and if we were okay. Then she started asking if we were passed out in a ditch. I showed Carm after we reached our room. She told me to hold off on answering because Perry was being way over the top and it was funny. “Carm that is mean!” I exclaimed as I started backing towards my bed. She moved closer as my phone chimed again. 

She rolled her eyes, “Just read the text.”

I giggled (it was kind of funny). “She’s ranting about the dangers of drinking and is threatening to send Laf out to find us.” Carm chuckled. “I’m going to tell her we’re okay before she has a heart attack.” I texted a reply and sent it with a smile. [We cool at home warm and comfy. Yay for safety.] “I feel bad for ditching them, it didn’t even cross my mind.”

Carm was standing right in front of me, the backs of my legs were pressed against the bed, but I didn’t feel like sitting down yet. I tossed my phone onto the bed and just stood there swaying slightly. I stared into Carm’s eyes intently, little flecks of gold mesmerizing me. 

“See something you like, Cutie?” 

I smirked. “Yeah, I do.” (drunk me is a little too honest sometimes). 

She smiled and we both just kept standing there. I was enjoying the spinning and the close proximity of Carmilla. Something came over me. “Do you remember our first kiss?” 

“Of course.” she stared at me intently. 

“Do you think we would still be together if I didn’t move?” I asked thinking back to when we first started seeing each other romantically. 

She paused then finally said; “Without a doubt.” She gazed at me. “Do you?” 

I stepped a little closer and looked up slightly, looking straight into her gorgeous eyes. “No question.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers, the spinning in my head tripled in intensity. She seemed startled by how forward I was, then she started to kiss me back. I got lost in the feeling of her lips against mine. She stepped closer and I lost my balance, falling back onto the bed. She tumbled after me, landing on me with an oomph. We giggled and layed there for a while. 

She looked up at me. “See something you like?” I asked snarkily. 

“You couldn’t imagine.” she murmured. Shifting a little, her head dipped down and she kissed me again. I smiled against her lips and pulled her closer running my hands up and down her back. She pressed impossibly closer to me as the kisses got deeper. I groaned as her hands tangled in my hair. I clung onto her tightly. We kissed like that for a long while, stars danced in my head. After a while she stopped, panting slightly. “We should stop.” 

I pouted. “Change your mind?” My heart stung as she sat up and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“No it’s just-” she sighed and looked at the ground. “I don’t want us to do anything else when we are drunk. I want it to be real, just us.” 

My heart swelled. “Then let’s just go to bed.” I said kindly. “We can talk about everything in the morning.” 

She sighed. “Good idea.” She stood up and grabbed some pj’s and started unbuttoning her pants. 

“Wait-” she stopped and looked at me with wide eyes. “If you start stripping in front of me right now, I’m going to jump you.” (Curse my honest drunk self). 

She laughed and walked to the bathroom “I will change in here.” I laughed and nodded.

The door closed behind her and I sighed and fell back on my bed. “What just happened?” 

(000)

I changed into my pajamas and stood in the bathroom for a few minutes breathing deeply. It took everything in me to stop kissing the girl in the next room, I needed some time to recover. After recollecting myself, I slowly opened the bathroom door and walked out. Laura was already in her pajamas and under the covers, her laptop opened and sitting across her legs. 

She looked up and smiled. “Want to watch GirlBoss with me? I’m kind of addicted to it.” I grinned and swaggered over to her bed, climbing under the covers.

“Sure Cupcake.” We snuggled under the covers and she pressed play. After a while, Laura dozed off and started snoring slightly. I switched off the laptop and set it on the ground. 

I started to climb out of her bed, to go into my own, when a hand snaked around my waist. “Stay.” 

I smiled and scooted back. “As you wish.” 

(000)

In the middle of the night I woke up to the familiar feeling of nausea. I scooted to the foot of the bed and ran to the bathroom. I made it to the toilet but I got some on my shirt, so I just took it off. I crawled back into my bed next to Carmilla, after grabbing a cup of water of course. I felt terrible; I should not have drank that much. 

I woke up hours later with Carmilla pressed against my back, with her arm slung over my waist. My head was pounding and my mouth was drier than the Saharan desert. I shifted a little and Carm groaned. “I feel like someone took a pickaxe to my skull.”

I chuckled quietly and groaned at the movement. I shifted a little bit and rolled onto my back. Looking down I noticed my shirt was gone, where did that go? What happened last night? I didn’t do anything with Carm did I? All I remember was dancing and taking shots with Carm; someone grinding on me from behind. That couldn’t have been Carm, could it? Oh god, we didn’t sleep together, we couldn’t have. Could we? “Do you remember anything about last night?” I croaked. 

She groaned and scooted closer. “Not really, just this skanky blonde grinding on you, and you letting her.” she growled.  _ So it wasn’t Carmilla.  _

She seems mad though. “I don’t really remember anything.” I said quietly. 

She groaned and shoved a pillow over her head. “I think I’m dying.” 

I rolled over and pressed my face into the bed. “Drinking will do that to you.” 

She lifted the pillow a bit and looked over at me. “Where is your shirt?” 

“I was hoping you would remember.” 

“We didn’t...did we?” 

(000)

She sat there quietly. I honestly don’t remember much about last night, but I sure as hell hope we didn’t sleep with each other for the first time while drunk. 

She finally answered; “I don’t think we did.” She groaned and shoved her face back into the bed, passing out a bit later. “You probably got puke on your shirt or something.” She blushed, it has happened before. 

I krept out of the bed and changed into some ripped jeans and a black sabbath t-shirt. I looked over at Laura’s toned back before quietly going out of the room. Maybe Gingersnap would know what happened. 

I reached their door and knocked quietly. Perry answered, looking as messy as I have ever seen her. “I feel so terrible, I can’t even clean properly.” she groaned. 

“Where’s your twin?” I asked ignoring her comment. 

She huffed. “Went to class. I don’t know how they could even do such a thing after how much we drank last night. Why? Did you need something?”

“I wanted to know if they got any glimpse of what happened between Laura and me last night.” 

I started to walk away, but Perry stopped me. “I could tell you about what I saw.” 

I slowly turned back and entered Laf’s room. “Enlighten me, because I don’t remember much.” 

“You guys kind of ditched us last night.” she stated with her arms crossed. 

“Oh please, you and the mad scientist were all over each other last night.” 

“I think you have the story wrong, Carmilla. It was you and Laura who were all over each other last night.” 

I quirked a brow. “Care to elaborate?” 

“You both just danced and drank together and were hanging all over each other, granted you do that all the time.” I scoffed.  _ Please, we do not.  _ “And then you left without saying anything.” 

I thought back, I do remember that...I think. “Do you remember a… blonde?” 

“Carmilla, are you jealous?” Perry looked at me seriously. 

“Shut up and just answer the question.” I deflected.

She sighed and put her index finger to her chin, thinking. “Yes, I believe so. You mean the girl dancing so inappropriately with Laura?” I nodded with fists clenched. “Laura left her to go after you to the bar, I didn’t see her after that.” 

A pressure in my chest released as I heard those words. “Okay, thanks Perry.” 

“Woah, no mean nicknames today?” 

“ Shut up before my nicknames get even more offensive, Curly Sue.” I growled as I stood up and walked towards the door. “Oh, by the way; your and the Mad Scientist’s dancing was more offensive than any nicknames I could come up with.” I exited the room before she said anything else, especially because she looked like she was going to ask what happened between Laura and me last night… and I don’t even remember all of that. 

(000)

After Carm left, I tried to think back and remember what happened when we got home last night. I was having too difficult a time trying to think past the incessant pounding in my head to remember much, so I gave up and fell back asleep. 

I woke up much later, feeling relatively better, and looked over to see Carmilla sitting next to me reading a book, my yellow pillow sitting across her lap. 

“Look who finally woke up.” she said as she flipped to the next page.

I groaned and scooted close to her. “It’s freezing in here, what is the thermostat set at?” 

“It is broken, I already sent in a work order for it.” 

“You are not leaving this bed then, you are too warm.” I pulled my blanket up further and wrapped myself in it tighter. 

“It might help if you were wearing a shirt, Cutie.” 

I blushed and pulled the blanket even closer. “I forgot about that.” she chuckled and turned the page. We sat like that for a while before I decided I was too cold to continue laying there, and got up to pull on a shirt. I grabbed my headphones, while I was still up, and crawled over Carmilla into my bed.

She just quirked a brow and continued reading. I plugged my headphones into my phone and started listening to music. We laid there in comfortable silence until she stood up. I shivered and scooted onto the warm spot she was sitting on the bed. She went over to our little kitchen and clancked stuff around until she came back with two bowls of hot soup. “Broccoli and Cheddar, you favorite. You haven’t eaten all day.” 

I beamed and sat up. “Thanks Carm, I think my stomach has finally settled enough to eat.” After we ate I got up to put away our bowls (Carmilla isn’t the best with cleaning up after herself). 

She stood up as well and got another book. “Oh I thought you might like this.” Carm held up a book titled  _ The Gravity Between us _ . It’s a really cute love story. 

I moved closer, we were both standing at the edge of my bed looking at the book. “I think I’ve read this before, in high school. It’s a book about best friends falling in love, isn’t it?”

She laughed, “Essentially, but I think there is more to it.” We were facing each other now, my legs pressed against the edge of the bed. 

“What do you think it was about then?” 

“I think-” she sighed and thought for a second, “-I think it is about fighting this growing connection between someone you care about.” 

“Could you elaborate? I don’t think I know what you mean.” 

She took a step closer to me, we were practically touching. She said in a soft voice, “Those girls were afraid to give in to their feelings for each other, and when they finally gave in; they tried to hide it.” I nodded. “They treat it like it is shameful, when it was actually something beautiful. They fight these feelings, when they are actually so obvious.” Her voice grew softer as she continued, “I just think they weren’t completely honest with themselves.” 

“But what about the fact it could ruin their friendship if it doesn’t work out?” I asked slowly. 

“The thing about loving someone like that is, they are your best friend. You talk to them about everything, you share a part of yourself that no one else sees. You are just adding another layer to your relationship.”  _ Why do I feel she is talking to me?  _

I thought about how I could change the subject. “You know what I think?” 

She raised her brows. “What would that be?”

“You need a...tickle fight!” I reached forward and started tickling her. She dropped the book and started laughing uncontrollably.

“Not.. fair!” she said between bouts of laughter, before she started to tickle me back.  We giggled as we continued our assaults. I lost my footing, and suddenly we were both falling, landing on the bed with an “oomph.” 

Suddenly I flashed back to last night:  _ Carmilla falling on top of me, in that same position. Her laughing softly and kissing me.  _ No! What! Did that happen last night!? 

Carmilla was still tickling me as images of last night flashed through my head. “S-Stop! You w-win!” I exclaimed between laughter. 

She laughed and tickled me one last time before lifting herself off of me and rolling over. “That’s what I thought. Don’t fight in a war you know you can’t win, Cutie.” 

I layed back and stared at the ceiling, replays of last night running in my head on repeat. “You okay Cutie? I didn’t hurt you did I?” She looked at me worriedly. “Are you still feeling sick?” 

“I’m great.” I said with a smile.  _ Better than great.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book I was talking about was "The Gravity Between us" by Kristen Zimmer if anyone is interested. It is not the most realistic of books, but I thought it was cute lol


	33. Love love love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is ready to confess her love for Laura, she was not expecting this. It's short I'm sorry about that. 
> 
> P..S. If the format looks weird, let me know. I did this all on my phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the wait. Life has been crazy. I hope you guys enjoy <3

I kept having this dream about Laura reading her poem in middle school. The words kept ringing through my head. Maybe she was talking about me in that poem. I mean it makes sense, I do all of those things she said. I am scared of letting anyone in, after what mother did to me. I never told Laura this, but she did so much more to me than physically hurt me. Her words were what cut me the deepest. My dreams keep flashing back and forth to Laura reading, and mother talking:

_ “Carmilla, what is this?” mother questioned as she towered over me, her face contorted with rage.  _

__ _ I flinched back, staring at her wide-eyed. I don’t know what she is referring to; then I noticed my phone in her hand. My heart started pounding.  _

__ _ “A text message to Laura: I love you.” her eyes slitted. “Why are you lying to her, you can’t love anyone.” I shrunk with the words, folding into myself. “And she’s a conniving liar as well, saying she loved you too. She’s probably after my money, or using you to get to your brother.” _

__ _ Finally finding the strength to speak I mumbled; “My brother?”  _

__ _ I flinched as she stepped towards me. “Speak clearly when you talk.” her breath puffed against my face, her brown eyes regarding me cooly. “Yes, your brother. He is the only one in this family that could be worth anything. She is  _ lying  _ to you, nobody can love you. I’m the only person who could feel any motocom of that feeling for you, and even that is a challenge.” _

__ _ Tears flooded in my eyes as I regarded her, the words echoing in my head. The dream shifted back to Laura saying her poem.  _

__ _ “Safety comes in many forms…”  _

__ _ My mind flashes back to when mother’s words cut me so deeply that all I could do was lie on the bed, numb. _

__ _ “They build up walls higher than the tallest towers, with the all-consuming anxiety that someone will slip through the cracks.” _

__ _ Memories of flinching away from Laura as she tried to touch me, or the agony when she told me she loved me and I didn’t know if I was even capable of it anymore. _

__ _ “Different still, are the masters of distraction. A mirror in front of them directs the eyes from who lies behind. When reflection fails, smoke rushes into action, nestled in shadows seems to be their kind.” _

__ _ Sometimes I feel like I am crazy, this all consuming fire licking my insides, and the stone encasing my skin.  _

__ _ “Most people don’t notice their shattered hearts or tears, but I do, and I wonder where it begins.”  _

__ _ It’s like she sees right through me sometimes; never gets mad when I snap at her. Always understanding. It’s like she can see through the cracks in my skin, she can see the light screaming to get through.  _

__ _ “Perhaps it begins when they find the strength to trust one last time in the end.”  _

__ _ My heart melted as I saw Laura’s glowing smile as she looked at me. Pieces of my past shatter as we sit together in silence, just doing our own things. I  _ can  _ love. More than that; I love Laura, more than I could ever comprehend.  _

__ The feeling of gentle hands stroking my arm pulled me out of my stream of dreams and thoughts. “Carm, wake upppp.” I groaned and rolled over into my pillow. “Don’t sass me young lady.” Laura teased and she started tickling my sides. 

“L-l-laura st-t-toppp.” I grumbled between laughter. 

Laura giggled, “Not  before you wake up.” 

“I’m awake Cutie, I promise.” I giggled. Laura halted her attack, beaming. “What were you dreaming about? You looked sad.” her smile wavered as she regarded me. 

I sighed. “I was- I was dreaming about mother.” 

Her smile completely died out. “She still gets to you, even after all this time.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Yeah, she does, but I realized something about myself that I haven’t realized before.” She raised her eyebrows. I scooted back and sat up against the pillows. “It’s just-” I sighed deeply, I hate to see her so upset about what happened to me “-I didn’t think I could love. Like I was so damaged that I wasn’t capable of it anymore.” 

I could see something inside of her harden, she was about to go on a rant. “Carm, you are the most loving, caring, and compassionate person I know. No matter how messed up you are, I never want you thinking that you aren’t capable of love. Nobody can take that away from you.” (told you).

“That is something I had to come to on my own.” her eyes saddened. “I had to realize myself that I was worth something, that I was stronger than that.” 

She nodded in understanding. “I love you Carmilla Karnstein,” she cuddled up to me and rested her head on my shoulder, “and nothing will ever change that.” 

I smiled as tears swum in my eyes, “I love you too Laura.” and this time I knew that I truly believed it. 

(000)

I rushed over to Laf’s room, I am ready to take the next step in my and Laura’s relationship; it’s time to put my plan in place. I knocked on the door and barged in (after checking to see if they both were dressed). Perry was upset at my lack of manners, but I had to get this off my chest. Once I explained my considered “rudeness” (well, more than usual), the couple was ecstatic and we started planning. I’m ready. Ready to let myself be washed away by my love, by Laura. 

(000)

Laf and Perry have been acting really strange lately. Carmilla just brushes it off with a: “They’re always weird, Cutie, I don’t know how you didn’t notice. I thought you were a journalist.” then she would wink at me as I went off onto a rant about how I really was a journalist, and something was up. I desperately wanted to find out what the heck was going on, but no matter how mercilessly I interviewed Perry and Laf, I couldn’t find out anything. Even Perry was controlling her tells. 

I was finally ready to just give up, when Carmilla, of all people, asked me if I wanted to go to the club with her, Laf, and Perry. 

“I thought you didn't  like the club, all those ‘drunken fools’" I said making air quotes while doing my best impression of her grumpy voice. 

She rolled her eyes. “Just put on a nice dress and go with us,  you won't regret it.”

I smiled, maybe I would find out tonight why everyone seems to be acting weird. “As you wish.” She beamed,  and I returned the smile. 

(000)

I anxiously bounced up and down on my toes as I waited for Laura to come out of our dorm room. Laf and Perry stood next to me suppressing grins. This night is going to be epic. My phone rang loudly at that moment, stopping my train of thought. 

An unknown number popped up on the screen. I stared at it for a few seconds before answering. “Hello? Is this Carmilla Karnstein?” 

“This is she.” I answered carefully. “And this is?”

A sigh resonated over the line, “Carmilla, it's your mother.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
